On the opening pages of her study, Alexandra Kuykendall writes this: "God doesn't force us to stop, but He certainly invites us to."
Tuesday of this week, I had my labs done again. I knew that the numbers weren't improving because if I sit down in my bed just to 'rest' before bedtime and unwind for what I hope to be a good night's sleep, I am out rather quickly. Like before 7:00 PM.
As I've been doing my hair in the morning, it feels like I am removing more than I am pulling back into a clip or a ponytail.
When I wake up in the morning or from an afternoon nap after sleeping on my side with my arms bent like I think most people sleep, my elbows are so tight it hurts to straighten them.
And, as expected, the lab results are consistent with my reality. Because now the only number I care about has gone up. Again. A lot.
And so if I am going to Love My Actual Christmas, it means I will have to be okay with waiting for help to make the cookies I want to make for my husband and kids.
It means I am going to have to give myself more time to do things than I already have been and be willing to spread some of them out over days not just hours. (like cleaning.....I hate doing a little bit each day, I want it all done and over.)
And it means I have to stop pushing through because pushing through is not helping. Do I know for a fact that it's hurting? No, I can't know that. But stopping and forcing myself to rest more are certainly the two things I haven't put my heart and soul into trying. And honestly, when I have, it's been more like reluctant, whiny, but I have so much more to get done laments. #MomProblems
But isn't this, regardless of the 'personal' season we are in, the perfect time to find out exactly what we believe about Jesus? If we say He came to rescue us, are we willing to let Him rescue us from ourselves when it means doing the exact opposite of who we've always made ourselves to be? #ProductivityAddicts Are we willing to lay down our pride and become as vulnerable as a baby in a manger who must rely on others?
What if instead of focusing on all we can't do for whatever reason, we actually took the time to ask God why it bothers us so much, and then let Him show us how Jesus, the one is is everything, is the answer?
I don't know what walls we've all been running up against. I would imagine there are others that are health related and a lot that are relational. (the holidays always seem to magnify those) But instead of trying to power our way through, let's look at our manger scenes at all the different people, backgrounds, and experiences, and realize that just like Jesus met each of them where they were and what was hindering them at the time, He will do the exact same for us. We just have to look to Him and at Him so that we can see Him move.
Shoulders by For King and Country