Shaking In My Boots

There is this annoying phrase in the Bible that has always bothered me. Probably because I thought I got it but really didn't. I'm not even sure I have it now. But I do think I have a better grasp on it than I have in the past. The phrase? Fear of the Lord.

When I heard that phrase in the past, I always associated it with Adam and Eve hiding in the garden afraid of what God was going to do to them for their misdeed. As a result, I have applied it to my life in the exact same way. Now the ridiculousness of this is beyond what I could ever convey in a blog post simply because it's so absurd. Why? Because the idea of hiding from God is not only cray cray but Biblically impossible. Not convinced? Read Psalm 139. Whatever we think we have kept hidden from God because we think we did it without His knowledge, He is already fully aware of it because His presence is always with us. So, if we think we are sneaking that extra bit of chocolate, there is at least One who already knows.

Back to fear.

It's taken a good bit of Bible reading all over the place to realize that fear of the Lord is not the kind of fear a puppy displays when a massive storm is hitting. This is way different, way better, and something we really should be embracing. A lot.

Fear of the Lord has more to do with realizing His bigness, attempting to wrap our mind around His sovereignty, and, as much as we are able, understanding the depth of His faithful love and abundant grace. Why? Because if we can even start to get that it should make us shake in our boots because that kind of love is too much for us to ever comprehend. It is meant to make us tremble because we begin to see just a glimpse of how holy He is and how undeserving we truly are.

This is why Paul's words in Phillipians are so incredible. He writes: Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence - continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

Okay, so the theological definition of salvation is this: deliverance from sin and its consequences, believed by Christians to be brought about by faith in Christ. And that can trip us up. Or at least it did me. Why? Because if Jesus died and rose and I've accepted His forgiveness on my behalf, what is there to work out? But then, something else somehow came crystal clear. I can only say it was a divine moment where God showed me something about salvation.

Salvation can be broken up into three R's. Rescue. Redemption. Restoration.

Jesus saved me from myself and my sin.

Jesus redeemed me and redeems my horrible mistakes.

Jesus restores me to a right relationship with God because I am in Him (in Christ).

So why is that still worked out if Jesus even said on the cross, "It is finished"? Because we still falter and flail in our sinful flesh, we need to go to God in confession that we can boldly do because of Christ's work on our behalf, and then in His presence we truly get His great, faithful love which doesn't leave us because we are in Christ and therefore have forgiveness. And seriously, fear and trembling? Probably more like plates shifting in a massive earthquake if we get how incredible it really is that He restores us so we can keep moving forward instead of sitting in an ash heap feeling completely unworthy and useless.

But here's the best part. That perfect love that casts out fear? This is it. Love that says no matter what we've done I'm not leaving you. Love that says no matter how hard you try to push me away I'm still going to pursue you. Love that says even though you think you've ruined everything, in my hands, I can make it into something you can't even imagine. His love doesn't punish, it redirects. And sometimes that redirection hurts because we have made the path harder by our choices and now our new starting place is hard. But this love should make us run to Him to confess and ask for help so that we can continue to work it all out, one moment at a time, until we see Him face to face.

I am thoroughly convinced that our view of fearing the Lord has been tainted by Satan's whispers. He's the one with the vested interest in making us try to avoid God at all costs. Because if he can drive that wedge and make the gap wider and deeper than we think can be bridged, his work is done, and he's laughing at us the entire time because he convinced us to believe what he knows full well isn't true. Chew on that for awhile.

Personally, as awkward as it feels because I'm not very good at it because I haven't really made it a practice, I need to start confessing to God a lot more. As I said before, saying I'm sorry to the one we offended is not the same because it is truly only against God that we sin. (you can read that post here) And the best part is, in doing so, I'll continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling which is a good thing. Because even though I am not able to get how incredible He is while I'm drawing His breath, I can intentionally seek more glimpses of it and let Him build my faith and confidence in the process.

The Boomerang Effect

Last week I mentioned the idea that instead of living fearless, that perhaps we are supposed to live and fear, less. This was mentioned at Bible study on Friday and at the time I was reminded by our leader of something that had been said previously, basically recognizing what's going on and then getting back on track faster. It made me think of a boomerang.

When we think about that strange object that somehow through physics is thrown and then returns to the sender, we typically picture someone that looks like Crocodile Dundee in the Australian outback. But what if we gave it a more godly appearance and looked at it through a spiritual lense and apply it to what we go through when it comes to fear.

The best acronym I have ever heard for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. And if anyone is out to strike fear in our hearts it's the enemy. His goal is to convince us beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have been separated from God's love, which is, by the way, the root of all fear.

Now, if we are IN Christ we know that nothing can separate us from His love. However, the enemy will do whatever he can to make us believe otherwise, including throwing us for a loop. But if we were to consider ourselves a boomerang, believing fully that we are God's dearly and beloved children, we know we will return to Him. It won't stop the enemy from trying, but eventually, no matter how hard or far he manages to toss us, we are never out of God's reach and something in us, like the mechanics of a returning boomerang, will draw us back.

The thing with fear is that on this earth something will always happen that manages to take us by surprise. But what if we could remember in those moments that we've just become a boomerang, tossed by the enemy who had no right to pick us up in the first place, and immediately started returning to the place we aren't meant to leave, the shelter of God's wings?

Fear, when it comes to fear of the LORD, has a place. But that kind of fear is vastly different than the one the enemy is trying to make a part of our DNA. And while our natural instinct is likely always going to be to respond in fear when something unexpected happens, the moment we recognize it and name it as such, the faster we'll return to safety.

I don't know about you, but I am pretty tired of always being afraid of the unknown. Because the truth is, even what is unknown to me, is clear as day God. And as long as He's in charge, I think it's safe to say we can start to fear less. So instead of having our fear be a returning boomerang, let's let it be the kind that God casts out with His perfect love, as many times as is necessary, and then let's avoid picking it back up by sticking close to Him.

Giving Keys

For some time I have been wearing Giving Keys. If you aren't familiar with them, you should be. They aren't something magical or mystical. I like to think of them as the modern tassels worn in the Old Testament.

Giving Keys have a single word on them. The three that I wear say: Breathe, Believe, and Fearless. Each key has a scriptural reference that is signficant to me in what I desperately want God to accomplish in my life and what I need to do in order to cooperate with any internal overhaul He might be leading me towards. Essentially they are reminders. Reminders to breathe (or as I call it perform Holy CPR) in truth and exhale disbelief when faced with a moment I think I might actually be separated from the love of God.

The idea is to wear the keys until you no longer need them and then give them away, hence the name Giving Keys. What's interesting is that I haven't felt compelled to relinquish any of my words yet because I know God is still at work and that He will tell me when the time comes.

What's exciting is that one of my words has taken on new life: fearless.

While I would prefer not to admit this, I tend to operate a lot out of fear. Things I do and don't do in order to ensure later outcomes. (Don't splurge on dessert for the family to make sure you have the extra money for 'x' ~ whatever 'x' might be.)

And while there is nothing wrong with sticking to a godly budget, when you say no to something because of fear, there's a lot wrong with that.

Much of this has to do with my upbringing. I still live in the Guilt Zone. The one that still says If you hadn't ............... then this wouldn't have happened. For the majority of my life, my reality could be listed in a series of proven hypotheticl statements. In refence to the ice cream scenario above.....if you hadn't splurged on dessert, you would have saved the extra money for this unexpected situation and now you are stuck because you didn't. No lie. This is what it is like to live inside my head.

Back to the point.

Fearless I have recently come to understand (praise God) is not necessarily about living a life of never being afraid of anything, but about fearing LESS. As in not every blessed moment of every single day.

Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but not by much.

The reality is, the more I focus on my fears, the more I am telling myself I don't trust God. Ouch. And the more I tell myself I don't trust God, the more I fear. The more I fear the less restful sleep I get. You see the cycle. It doesn't get better. It just spins and spins and spins.

Now, if there were a simple solution to this, like say swallowing a pill, the whole problem could go away. Except pills like that don't really exist. However, I learned something on my wedding day. Just like I gripped my dad's hand as hard as I could and made his knuckles turn white, I can do the same with God. Now, I can't squeeze His hand so hard as to cause Him pain, and frankly, I think He might like me holding on for dear life rather than telling myself He's not trustworthy. But that's just a hunch.

There are hard, scary things we will face in this world. An unexpected diagnosis, an unanticipated loss, and tragedies that should never, ever happen. And when those things pop up, we will feel fear. It's natural to respond to the things that throw us off our game. But we can take them straight to God, hold His hands, and ask Him to help us fear......less. Because if we do that, and just grip onto Him with everything we've got, we'll soon see our tight grip loosening as our hands get tired and see that He's still not letting go.

Reality Check

Several weeks ago I read/flipped through one of those 'health' related articles that shows up on MSN when you log out of hotmail. The title, "26 Things That Happen To Your Body When You Don't Get Enough Sleep".

Among my favorites:

You get more anxious
And more stressed
Slow metablolism
You gain weight
You are not as athletic anymore
Harms cognitive function
Alzheimer's is more likely
Type 2 Diabetes is more likely
Blood pressure goes up
Risk of heart disease increases
Risk of stroke, too

The reality is, I don't get enough sleep. If a person should get between 7 and 8 hours a night, and on average, I maybe get 6, I am short at least one night of sleep per week. Multiply that by the number of years I have been doing this, and well, it doesn't paint a pretty picture.

A few years ago I found this nugget of wisdom in Psalm 127: In vain you rise early and stay up late. Pretty much had me pegged. Why? Because getting up at 2:40 AM is not productive, it's vanity. And okay, stupidity. Because reality says that just because the time says "AM" does not mean it's morning. 2:40 AM is the middle of the night.

Why have I done this? And for so long?

To (a) read my Bible before anyone gets up, (b) be done exercising before anyone gets up, and (c) for the past couple of years have my blog post done before anyone gets up. All noble reasons because I don't want what I want to do, or feel I need to do, to interrupt anyone else. Except realistically speaking, if it kills me (and by the list of potential health consequences it will) I wouldn't be able to interrupt anybody or be of any use to them at all.

But for me it goes beyond vanity straight to idolatry. Because I don't trust God with my time to be able to help me get done what I want to get done. And therein lies the problem. I am sure God would help me find the time to spend in His Word, but do I trust Him to help me with the other two? Nope. Not at all. Just being honest here. Why? Because I have lived believing the lie that 'if it's to be, it's up to me.' And fyi, that is a dangerous lie. Not just because it's unbiblical, but because it's detrimental.

So, in case you had any doubts about how deep my Type A, Control Freak problems went, now you know. They are not only significant, but serious.

I can't say God hasn't been pressing me on this issue for awhile and that to come to it now is any form of obedience. Obedience would have been years ago. This can't even count as a delay. But at the same time, and not to excuse my behavior, I wasn't ready to see it. And I believe He knew that. Because sometimes I think God in His grace and wisdom lets us continue until we reach a point that we know His way really is the only way so that we won't revert back to our own way.

So what does this mean? I'm not sure quite yet. I just know I need to slow down. But as He works on my heart and mind to trust His leading more, even in something as mundane as sleep, my encouragement to you is this: If God has been pressing something on you, and for longer than you would feel truly comfortable to publicly admit, maybe it's time to listen. If the last couple of days are any indication, it's worth it. I promise.

Speechless

Nutrition

Whole 30

Paleo

Vegan

Vegetarian

Gluten Free

Keto

Mindful Eating

South Beach

Atkins

The list of options is pretty extensive when it comes to how we are going to fuel our bodies. But maybe instead of being restrictive or select, we should focus more on the fact that we are sitting at the table. Because if we are blessed enough to eat dinner as a family on a regular basis, the reality is, we have two other meals, breakfast and lunch, that we probably think we are eating alone. But we aren't. And perhaps if we start to see them as a time of communion, not only we will be well fed, we might actually begin to understand what it means to be truly satisfied.

Hard Things

Most of us, given the opportunity, would avoid doing the hard things. We tend to like comfort, ease, and little to no difficulty in our lives. But sometimes we are faced with two choices, neither of which is a preferred option, and even describing one as the lesser of two evils seems significantly understated.

If you know me personally, you know I tend to live in a bubble. My bubble is 5 miles around. I go so far north, south, east, and west, and don't like to go outside my bubble except on rare occasion. Why? I don't know. I am sure there is some lie I am believing about why I don't like to go farther but at this point I have no idea what it is.

Typically this is the worst when my kids are in school. I always feel a need to be within arms distance, just in case. And, if I have to be farther away, it best be early so that I have plenty of time to accomodate for unexpected circumstances that might interfere with my ability to get there at the time I need to pick them up. Believe me, you can't make this up.

No one else I know lives like this. Certainly no one in my family. I've gotten slightly better over the years but I am no where close to an uninhibited point of taking full advantage of the time my kids are in school to be able to go places or do things. It's so sad. Sort of. I get a lot done in other respects which makes 'home' easier.

That said, yesterday my kids were off. We went to see my friend that recently relocated to a secure, safer environment for her memory problems. First, this was way outside of my 5 mile rule. Second, this involved major highway driving. Third, I haven't driven this road myself in more years than I can count and the last time I was on it, my husband was driving and I probably had my eyes closed freaking out because it's fast and there are semis. Going the speed limit was difficult let alone those that were not happy with the fact that a rule follower was in front of them and they did not feel any particular affection for obeying the posted signs.

When we got there I was relieved. Except I realized I'd have to do it again in less than two hours and in reverse.

But I had a choice to make. Do the hard thing and see my friend OR avoid the hard thing and endure not seeing my friend.

You would think that would be it. Except it wasn't. Because reality set in of what she really needs. Locked doors. Limited access. Comprehensive routines. Clear expectations. And it was hard. Really hard to see.

As if that weren't enough, others I saw were indicative of what her future could likely be. That was not only sobering but incredibly difficult to accept.

But here's the deeper question: After all the prayers we prayed, am I willing to accept that this situation equates to God feeding the birds?

Matthew 6:26 says Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet Your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? (NIV)

Several weeks ago I took the man-child to a student ministry event. While I wasn't thrilled to see that someone left a partial slice of pizza in the grass, I smiled at the bird eating it thinking of this verse. And I can't help but think that my friends new living situation is the exact same thing.

God knew where she would need to be.

God knew the parameters that would need to be in place to keep her safe.

God knew the type of people she would need to be surrounded by in order to thrive as best as she can.

And as painful as it is to admit this, He also knew the physical distance that would have to separate us for both her benefit and mine. Because if she were closer, I would be there all the time which would be extremely difficult on me and make an adjustment for her much harder.

And so we have two birds, given exactly what they need, for the reasons they need it. And in the process I am being stretched to not only deepen my trust in God's provision, but to have my bubble get a little bit bigger. (Honestly it felt more like it expanded to the point it would almost pop, especially considering the pain in my hands from white knuckling the steering wheel driving there. This is a great indication of my husband's ability to love me well since I am like this as a passenger, too.)

We might not like the food being served up, but either way, if it's coming from God, it's the provision He's sending. And considering He knows the hunger in us that most needs satisfied, maybe we could just start giving Him the benefit of the doubt on the menu choices He presents.

In His Image

We know from the creation account that we are made in the image of God. We also know that we are called to be like Him and reflect His image.The tricky part is learning the difference between ourselves and God so we don't assume He is more like us rather than us being less like Him.

I've metnioned a few times that we need to ascribe to the Lord the things that are due Him simply because if we don't we will make Him out to be like us in a heartbeat. It's quite scary really. We think He will respond to us the way we respond to others forgetting that one of His qualities is omnipotence, that is, having unlimited power and the ability to do anything.

And so whenever I read my Bible these days, I write down questions I need to ask myself. I am not going to say that I answer them all, but I write them just to get myself to try to find the answer to Paul's famous question in Romans......why do I do the things I do? What's funny is that sometimes I write the question, then keep reading and journaling and ultimately get the answer.

Today after reading Psalm 18:6, I asked this question:

Why if I know You will hear me, answer me, and help 

me do I not cry out, ask, and say what I need?

And this is what I realized: I don't see God as omnipotent. 

If I am in the middle of cooking something and a human that I birthed asks me for help, do you know what I say? Usually something like this: I want to help you but I need to finish this first so I don't burn dinner.

If I am packing up lunches and a human I birthed wants to show me something funny or share something important I usually say something like this: I can hear you but I can't understand you right now. Let me finish this and then you can show me or tell me.

And if I am three rooms away and there is background noise but not so much that I don't know language is directed towards me, I usually say something like: I can hear you talking but I can't understand you because there is too much noise. You come here or wait until I can come there.

And that is why I don't cry out, ask, and say what I need. Because in my limited ability to comprehend what God is and is not capable of doing, I figure He multitasks as well as I do, and that my prayers are not a blessing to Him as I admit my weakness and desperate need of His strength, but more of an unwelcomed interruption in His busy schedule.

But God is not like me and He does not parent like me. He does it much, much better. 

And honestly, I don't know how to draw the line. We are told not to drop everything the moment we are needed so our kids don't see themselves as the center of the universe. However, nothing stops or prevents God from hearing us the minute we call on Him, regardless of what else He has going on. Frankly, that should make us drop down to our knees in complete wonder and awe and then beg for Him to intervene with our kids in the moments we can't (or choose not to) walk away from what we think matters more.....like dinner, washing dishes, or finishing our hair and makeup in the bathroom.

But this isn't necessarily just about parenting, it's about prayer. It's about having a conversation with the person who created us, cares for us, knows us, and loves us more than we will ever be able to understand while we are walking on this earth breathing the air He puts in our lungs.

Whatever we face, and whatever the reason is we are facing it, our Heavenly Father wants to hear from us. He doesn't want us to say I'm fine one more time because frankly He knows we're not. And it's got to be pretty insulting to Him when we refuse His help.

I don't know what our days have in store for us, what things good and bad we'll encounter, but I do know that God is well aware of each of them and that He wants to hear from us about them. He promises to hear us from His temple. Maybe it's time we start believing that and then act on it by lifting up our voices more often.

The Long and Winding Road

When we look at successful people we often mistakenly assume that their ascent to the top was a straight line forever going in the direction they planned. In reality we know there was probably a lot of doubts, questions, twists, turns, backsliding, etc. Rarely, if ever, do we see a direct shot from Point A to Point B in anything. But in our fantasy world, sometimes things just go exactly according to the plans we made. I'm quite sure this logic makes God face palm a lot.

When I read Psalm 5 yesterday, the last segment of verse 8 sounded similar to Proverbs 3:6 because both talk about straight paths. In our minds, I think we assume that a straight path is like a direct shot. Nothing more than a distinct, clearly defined starting and ending point with no obstacles, no detours, and no distractions.

However, if we look at the Israelites in the desert, we can easily see that our logic is pretty faulty. The Lord was most definitely directing their path but it was far from straight. As a matter of fact, He took the long way home. 

And I think this trips us up. If we don't get to our intended destination, we assume we must have heard incorrectly, then we doubt God's leadership, we begin to question His logic, and then figure we must recalculate our route just like the GPS does when we miss a turn.

But experience has taught me something different. Sometimes what seems like an error on my part or an inability to follow directions, is like an extended stay at a rest stop. Sometimes there's something we need to get for the rest of the journey in order to arrive safely at our destination because something is on the road ahead that we aren't quite prepared for yet.

This is what makes the beginning of this Psalms so fitting. 

In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice;

in the morning I plead my case to You

and watch expectantly.

The question is, are we expecting God to move and direct the way, or are we expecting Him to do what we think He should?

A little while ago I shared my thoughts on James words about faith without action being dead. (You can read that post here.) And I wonder if there is even more to it.

A lot of times I think I pray to God knowing He hears my voice and then figure I am watching expectantly for Him to move. Except I'm really not. It's more like I talk to Him about it, pray minimally, do the best I can, and then wish, not hope, He comes in with 'the more, the extra, the overflow'.

I agree that faith without action is dead because it is rooted in fear and a lack of trust. But I also wonder if faith without the action of waiting and being still is also dead because it shows a lack of trust and belief that God will move on our behalf. I can't help but wonder if a straight path doesn't necessarily mean constant motion but rather movement always going towards God's purpose.

The reality is it's hard to know with absolute 100% certainty that we are doing the right thing. Not because we can't hear God's voice but because He doesn't ever seem to want to give us His blueprint. And while that might be really frustrating to us control freaks, I think He does it because He wants to build our faith, our confidence in Him, and because He likes to wow us with the things we can't even imagine.

As tempting as it is to believe straight non-stop paths exist, we really wouldn't want them if we had them because they'd be predictable and boring. But, even if we don't get them in the journey that God has laid out for us, we can be assured that all the twists and turns are still leading us to the safest place we'll ever know: His hands.

Rest

Weekly Recap ~ May 7 thru May 11

Monday, May 7, 2018

From start to finish, God has always been about setting us free.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Saying, "I'm sorry" is good, but it's not good enough.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

We aren't in it alone. We aren't responsible for the outcome.

And sometimes we really do just need to be still.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

The enemy is nothing but a party crasher that needs to be

sidelined as sub-par entertainment.

Friday, May 11, 2018

We can't hurt Him with our weakness because He overcomes it

with His perfect strength.

The Muddy Pit

In Pittsburgh we have something that is nicknamed The T. It basically amounts to a subway that can make travel a lot better. On the day of the Pittsburgh Marathon, you can ride for free which makes parking easier on the outskirts because you can get where you need to go much easier.

The thing about riding though is that if you aren't fortunate enough to get a seat, you'd better have a tight grip on the bar above, one of the straps hanging from the bar, or a pole that comes up from an aisle seat. There aren't any hills of course, but the suddent starts and stops, as well as the obvious bends, can knock a girl to her feet pretty easily. Not that this has happened, but considering I have a hard enough time walking on flat surfaces without hurting myself, a moving surface while I am standing is bound to be hazardous.

I thought about The T this morning in reading Psalm 40. Not that I would consider The T a muddy pit by any stretch of the imagination, but I was thinking about what it would be like to get out of a muddy pit. If our shoes are slipping, if we can't get a grip on anything, and if we are trying to claw our way up, chances are we are going to slide. This leaves us with two options. Either someone swoops down and lifts us out with no effort on our part or they reach out a steady, strong hand and help us walk up the slippery sides by making our steps secure. But there's a catch. We can't let go because if we do, we'll be back at the bottom in a flash.

Now the pit might not seem like a great place to be. Chances are it's gross, if it's muddy, it's obviously dirty, and if you're like me and the smell of mud makes your stomach turn, it won't be a pleasant environment. But can it still have purpose? Undoubtedly. Sometimes the pit gives us just enough time to take a good look at reality.

But my questions are this: If we are to patiently wait for the LORD until He turns to us and hears our cry for help, what does patient waiting look like and how long does it take us to cry out?

I'll be honest, the first question I have no answer for. I have to wrestle that one out because I think it is the perfect blend of continuing to do what we know we are called to do and being still before God. Basically, not freezing in place but not trying to control and maniupulate the outcome or ending time.

The second part is where I think a lot of us struggle. We like to think we are considerably more independent than we are and we don't like to feel or appear weak.

But to who? Others or God?

First, let's be honest. Whether we or anyone else admits it, there is a part in all of us that wants someone to come in and save the day, make all the decisions and fix everything because we are tired of feeling the weight of responsibility we put on our own shoulders every.single.day.

Second, if we think we can hide our weakness from God, we are not only kidding ourselves, but we are seriously disillusioned. He made us, He knows our weaknesses, and I believe He put them there very much on purpose so that we would depend on Him and cry out to Him. Why? Because He set the system up for success.

I know that sounds really weird.

But think about it. If God knows we can do nothing apart from Him, then by creating us with a need for Him, we are bound to be fruitful if we can (a) admit our need and (b) ask for help. He didn't do this so He can watch us flounder, He did it so He can help us climb out of the pits we find ourselves in from our stubborn independence, put our feet on a firm place to stand like His love and faithfulness, and then help us run the race He called us to without breaking our necks or twisting our ankles.

If you're like me, crying out is about as attractive as the idea of watching a scary movie alone at night in the dark. Why? Because I blame myself for everything. I see every bad decision as the direct cause of my circumstances and figure I got myself into the mess and I need to get myself out.

But that's bad theology in more ways than I can list.

Because whether or not it was a less than stellar moment of weakness or a sincere belief that this time would be different, God created me and knows the ways I think and why those patterns exist. And He's not unsympathetic to my predispositions. In fact, He is so empathetic to them, He doesn't want me to live that way and so He is not only willing to help, He actually wants to help. He wants to be my grip bar.

The best illustration I can give you is this: On the day I got married I was an emotional wreck. I cried so hard walking down the aisle people had questions running through their minds I won't share. And in the picture of my horribly red face streaked with tears, you can see my poor dad's hand turning white because I was gripping it with everything I had. I did not want to fall and I could feel every ounce of weakness in me. Would I be enough for the long haul? Was I going to wake up from what was bound to be the best two year dream? I was filled with both excitement and fear and it was overwhelming.

And do you know what I would have never thought of doing? Walking down the aisle alone. I knew without a doubt I needed my dad's help. And I didn't have to ask him to do it. He wanted to. Why? Because I'm his daughter and he knew I couldn't do it on my own and so he was going to be there for me.

That's the relationship God wants with us. He wants us to white knuckle grip Him because He knows we are scared, He knows why we are scared, and He's going to lead us through it to the end. He's not letting go, ever. And the best news, we can't hurt Him with our weakness because He overcomes it all with His perfect strength.

I don't know how to make crying out a natural response. It seems like as babies we do it all the time and then somewhere along the lines we just stop because we gain a little bit of ability to meet a need and it becomes a vicious cycle of positive reinforcement of a negative behavior. And maybe it's just as simple as recognizing the tension in our souls as a prompt to scream HELP ME as loud as we can. Because the truth is, we weren't created to do it alone and the sooner we realize that, the more stable we'll be.

Sit Down Dinner

I'd tell you to close your eyes and imagine this but if you close your eyes, you can't read.

Imagine walking into an elegant wedding reception. Linen tablecloths and napkins, white covered chairs with satin bows. Highly polished silver on the table on either side of Lennox place settings. A string quartet is playing softly in the background while the waitstaff carries around trays of champagne and decadent hors d'oeuvres. Suddenly out of the corner of your eye in the middle of this exquisite setting you see him in the middle of the dance floor. You become completely entranced by the man in the 1970's velvet suit with wide collar and an unbuttoned shirt that reveals heavy gold jewelry laid across his bare chest. You try to look away but his dance moves and vocals have you captivated because you don't understand how someone so clearly out of place has not been escorted from the event.

Not wanting to completely misjudge this potential guest, you go over and speak with him. As soon as the conversation begins you realize he is completely out of his mind saying the most ridiculous things you have ever heard. He is speaking of escapades that Superman could not have pulled off and is making promises of the things he can help you with as he asks you interesting questions that make you wonder if what he's saying might actually be true. Because how could he know your deepest dreams unless he'd been studying you without your knowledge.

Got it? Good.

Of course that story is fictitious. But only partly. Because to a degree that man in the flashy suit with obnoxious speech does exist. And he makes all kinds of promises to us and makes us question everything we believe because that's his game. Create doubt, chaos, and disorder in whatever capacity he can in whatever setting he can manage to worm his way in. He thinks he's a prince, but in reality, he's just a punk.

Awhile ago I read the gospel of Matthew. In verse 18 of chapter 28 Jesus says this, Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on the earth has been given to Me." (NIV) So, Jesus is the one in control. And something unsettled in me because I kept thinking about all the times I've heard about Satan being the prince of this world. The fallen world. The world waiting for Jesus to come back.

Then I found this verse:

John 12:31 Now is the time for judgement on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out. (NIV)

And it made me think. If Jesus says that authority is His and the prnice of this world is driven out, why do I give him so much space in my head? Because just like the scenario up top, he might be loud and flashy and really obnoxious, but he has no power, he has no authority, and as my son would likely say, he's nothing but a try hard.

And then it occurred to me that I give him so much real estate for one simple reason: I am falling for the same line he used on Eve......Did God really say.......Why? Because I don't believe I deserve what Jesus has done for me.

And here's the thing. I don't. I don't deserve to be forgiven. I don't deserve to be shown grace. I don't deserve any of the good things God has given me. But that doesn't stop Him and it never will. Why? Because even if I don't deserve it, once I am in Christ, I get it because of Him.

So why the reception scenario? Because I wanted to give us something visual to hold on to when he comes whispering the lies that he's custom designed for us. The ones that say.......

you are not good with decisions and God is going to make you pay for the bad ones

you have messed up one too many times and God is sick of bailing you out

you think you heard him but you are stuck now because this was your fault

you are the one that got yourself into this mess so God is not going to come to your rescue so don't bother crying out for help

Because that's what he does. In his flashy, obnoxious suit with fake gold, ugly words, and just enough information that sounds true to make us doubt everything we believe and know is true.

I don't know if this visual will help or not, but it seems like it will. If we can see him as the unwelcomed, uninvited party crasher he is, maybe he'll steal a little bit less of our joy and peace because we'll realize more quickly he's trying to rip us off. And instead of giving him any credit or more real estate in our heart, we'll see him as nothing but sideshow entertainment that isn't worth a second glance.

Worth It

Having experienced both in my lifetime, I still don't know if it's better to lose someone to a quick, unexpected death or one that is totally anticipated. On one hand, they don't suffer but we don't get the chance to say all the things we'd like to. On the other hand, we get to spend the time we would have otherwise missed, but desperately pray for their relief.

But this post isn't about literal death rather a more metaphorical one. The one where we are supposed to die to self.

I'm sure most of us can think of someone who had a Come to Jesus experience where their life was completely flipped on end and nothing was ever the same. Most of those experineces are not grand or something to be envied. They usually involve pits, near death experiences, rocks, and abandonment. They are terrible in reality but make for great movies and memoirs.

Now, of course we can be thankful that most of us do not typically get to a breaking point where we think we are going to die. However, on the flip side, we do feel the gradual slipping. And even though we can know it's leading someplace really good, we try to white-knuckle every last bit of comfort we can get because we think comfort is our friend. It's not.

So we hold on to our patterns wishing for different outcomes. We try to devise plans and progress charts that will show how to get from Point A to Point B with the least amount of effort and resistance hoping it will provide maximum results. And we wonder, boy do we wonder, why things look slightly altered but feel exactly the same.

Watching a video yesterday about prioroitizing/planning, I learned something signficant.  If we have a pretty planner and only use it to manage the chaos we are already enduring, we didn't do ourselves any favors. Favors come when we eliminate the excess, choose what is best and leave behind what is good, and decide once and for all that it really is okay to be still more often.

But this slow death, the one where we let go of who we've always been is hard. It is like watching someone you love slowly slip away knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it. And even though you know without a doubt that it will be better, our desire for the status quo to remain the status quo is strong. And the pain is real because the fear of the unknown is real. Will it all get done? What if I'm picking the wrong things? What if this is really the only reason my people like me? It goes on and on and on.

And while this refining process can feel like a descent, what if part of it is actually a climb? Pslam 65:12 says the hills are robed with joy. (CSB) What if instead of free-falling we are actually stumbling our way to the top, getting closer to God in the process? What if it really is all joy because it is all grace to get us to the place where we can see the clearest?

And those valleys? Psalm 65:13 says the valleys (are) covered with grain. (CSB) Maybe instead of seeing them as the low point, they are simply the place where the chaff gets removed so the climb up the hill is just a little easier because we aren't trying to carry all the excess.

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted and it's not just from lack of sleep. I don't think the lack of sleep helps, but I'm pretty sure it's mostly the expectations I have for myself that are wearing me out.

Now, if our first reaction to this is But I can't stop....... that should be a pretty good indication of where our hearts truly are. So I'll give us the good news now.

We aren't in it alone. We aren't responsible for the outcome. And sometimes we really do just need to be still. And even though it will still feel like we are losing more than we will gain because our pride tempts us to think our worth is found in what we do, my guess is that in doing it God's way, we'll end up with more than we could have ever imagined. And in the end, it will all be worth it.

Just Sayin'

Apologizing to the person we have hurt with

our thoughts, actions, or words is not the 

same as, nor does it eliminate the need for,

confession to God.

The other day I asked someone a question about confession.Growing up Catholic I went to confession with the same list of things I'd done wrong time after time. I went through the routine, got my penance, said the prescribed prayers, and went on like nothing ever happened. Sad, but true. As I sit here looking at what I just typed, truly I am horrified. The forgiveness of sin is nothing to take lightly considering how costly it was for Jesus to obtain on my behalf.

When we left the Pittsburgh area when I began high school, confession became something I 'used to do' for no other reason than 'the box' disappeared. In the church I had always attended there was a confessional with a screen so I felt anonymous. Too bad I didn't understand Psalm 139 at that point in time.

Anyway as I've gotten older, confession has seemed like such an outdated practice. I didn't know why I felt that way until yesterday.

Psalm 51:4 (CSB)

Against You - You alone - have I sinned and done this evil in Your sight.

So You are right when you pass sentence; You are blameless when You judge.

I think it's easy to think of what we do as not the bad. We look at the sliding scale of justice in America for first versus fifth time offenders and attribute that same logic to God. As you might have guessed that's not how God works. It's why I have recently begun to understand why it's so important that we understand the character and nature of God and ascribe to Him the attributes that are His, not the world's.

The problem is we think the things we do are not really sin. I lose my cool with a kid and get sarcsastic, blame it on being tired, apologize profusely, and move on. Except there's a problem. Apologizing to the person we have hurt with our thoughts, actions, or words is not the same as, nor does it eliminate the need for, confession to God. Enter Psalm 51:4. What we do might hurt someone, but it's truly against God alone that we have sinned. Believe me, I know how bad that truth hurts.

A few years ago John Piper gave a sermon at Passion titled The Ultimate Essence of Evil. I am pretty certain I need to listen to it again. Not because I feel a need to beat myself down, but because I want to lift myself back up.

I think it's so easy for us to come down on ourselves with guilt, shame, and condemnation rather than lift ourselves up to see what God wants for us and then keep our eyes on the goal. And if we can understand where we are tripping over our own two feet, we can hopefully avoid some of the stumbling by learning to walk a more narrow path.

By no means am I saying that we should stop saying we're sorry. None of us can hear that too much, especially if it is coming from a truly repetant heart. But ultimate repentance comes when we go before God in understanding not only how we didn't glorify Him with our actions but how we desperately need Him to influence and direct our actions in the future.

There is a part of me that wonders if we see confession as extra because the enemy knows that we are keeping ourselves bound by not praticing it on a regular basis. I mean God already knows what we've done so do we really need to say it? I think yes. With acknowlegement comes release and with release comes freedom.

Granted this might feel a bit strange if it's not something we've been doing for awhile....say thirty years. But I also believe that through the process of doing it, we'll also get closer to God by seeing Him as He really is.....a loving, forgiving Father, who truly wants the best for us.

Freedom

Last week I was out with my husband and saw something I had been telling myself I wanted. Not that I was putting the time and attention it needed in order to really get it, but something I had been dreaming about no less.

The first time I saw it was only from a distance and it looked amazing. Like everything I could have ever hoped for. But the person who had it was vastly different than me and I didn't understand that until Friday. Because on Friday I saw it on someone that was more similar to me. And I realized, pretty quickly, that God had just done something pretty amazing: He set me free from what was captivating my thoughts.

What I didn't realize, and maybe this will help you learn something as well, is that we are able to see a lot of things we like. Unfortunately we equate appreciating and liking something with wanting something because we think it will give us something we don't have. Whether that's confidence, approval, success, or any other worldly temporary fix. We honestly believe it, whatever it is, is the answer.

But what we like or appreciate does not mean it's us, and it certainly doesn't mean it's for us. And by for us, I mean the right thing and for our benefit.

God created each of us so uniquely. Some of us can pull off runway style clothing, look incredible, and it fits our personality, the way God designed it, to a tee. And then there are those of us who are most comfortable in a LuLaRoe look, a Lululemon look, or those like me that are happiest in jeans, a t-shirt, and with a book and my Bible in hand. (Seriously, I am probably the only one that waits for a school concert to start trying to read a book instead of with a phone in my hand and I know I am the odd man out at the orthodontist's office reading a book instead of staring at a screen.)

However until we really have our eyes opened to see that what we thought we wanted really isn't us and definitely isn't for us, we will continue telling ourselves it is and live with the guilt and shame that we haven't yet achieved it.

This year our daughter had to memorize and recite a poem for her reading class. She had a couple ideas until she came home and helicopter mom I stepped in with a strong different suggestion.  Needless to say baby girl memorized the first sixteen verses of Psalm 139. Verse 14 reads I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. (CSB)

And that's what we need to realize. It's possible to appreciate the things we see in others without wanting them for ourselves. It's possible to see the way God designed us with our preferences and be okay with it instead of feeling that we would be better if we looked like a fashion plate or She-Ra Princess of Power. It's not that there's anything wrong with either of those, but if we are constatnly unhappy with who we truly are, we are going to make everyone else around us miserable.

The frightening reality is that some of us (read me) have been so focused on the things we like about others for so long, we've lost most of ourself along the way. But He knew where we would wander, He knew what would capture our thoughts and attention, and He will still use it all to show us why it happened in the first place. Because from start to finish, God has always been about setting us free.

 

Sabbath Rest

Weekly Recap ~ April 30 thru May 4

Monday, April 30, 2018

Sometimes freedom comes when we act on what we read.

Tueday, May 1, 2018

💣💣💣💣💣💣💣 Truth bombs

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Not doing what we should? Maybe it's time to call out fear. 

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Sometimes the most active and productive thing we can do is quit resisting.

Friday, May 4, 2018

Thy will be done = The Lord does what is good in His eyes.

Heart Check

Years ago I believe it was Lysa TerKeurst who asked this question: If God were to come to you and say He was going to answer all the prayers you prayed last week, what prayers would be answered? That will preach right there, won't it? Really puts things into perspective about how much, or little, we actually pray.

I will fully admit, I have become more of a pray-er over the last yearish. It's not been easy or natural for me because I always feel like there's so much, half the time I feel rushed, and the rest of the time I feel like my prayers are pretty inadequate. I take comfort in knowing that God knows my heart and what I really desire and that He is filling in the gaps as His Spirit intercedes with what I am struggling to accurately verbalize.

But this morning I read Psalm 20. The beginning of verse 4 says May he give you what your heart desires and verse 5 ends with May the LORD fulfill all your requests. And then I wrote down this question:

If the Lord were to give me what my heart desires and 

fulfill all of my requests, what would they be?

My intention in writing this was to help me answer two other questions:

1. Do I even know what I actually want?

2. How many of my requests are selfish, even if just a little bit?

The answer to the first question I don't even really have. There are lots of things I think would be great, but I've never really considered if they are my heart's desires. Why? Because most of them truly lack a purpose. The truth is they are things I'd like to do, but until I know why I want to do them, none of the them are likely to take flight. If you don't have a truly compelling reason, it's really hard to get motivated to put action behind a task.

The answer to the second question however was more telling.

There are things I am praying for, FOR OTHER PEOPLE, that have selfish motives. Yes the fulfillment of these prayers would be for their benefit, but they would also be for mine. Ouch.

Not so coincidentally, before I read Psalm 20, I also read 2 Samuel 10 and 1 Chronicles 19. At the end of verse 12 in 2 Samuel and the end of verse 13 in 1 Chronicles, it reads May the LORD'S will be done, and it has a superscript letter. (I think that's the one that goes 'up') The note at the bottom? Let the LORD do what is good in His eyes.

If you've ever read the book of Judges, you know that the most frightening phrase in the entire Bible exists in that book. (Well, at least I think so) Everyone did what was right in his own eyes. Talk about a set up for chaos and disaster. So when I read the little note, thought about the Lord's prayer Jesus taught, and heard Hillary Scott singing Thy Will Be Done in my head, it gave those words new life.

It's hard enough to pray thy will be done as it is because we know God's plans rarely, if ever, line up with our thoughts on the matter. However, if we know that God is good, to see it as the LORD doing what is good in His eyes gives us an entirely new hope and confidence that whatever His decision is, will be what's best for us.

So what do we do?

First, I think we need to sit down and really think about what we want. 

Second, I think we need to be really honest about why we want the things we come up with.

And third, we need to believe that whatever God does is what's best in His eyes, whether we agree with His actions or not.

I've had to face the cold hard truth that I resist a lot of what the Word of God says simply because I am too afraid to get my hopes up and have them completely smashed. Because of this, I've been lisitng things I'd like to do thinking if it's God's will, somehow I will be supernaturally zapped with discipline enough to do it. Could it happen? Sure. Is it likely? No. Funny that this sounds a lot like faith without action, huh?

Let's not be afraid to dream. Let's not think that God can't do big things through us because we see ourselves as too small. If He's the one that gives us our desires in the first place, let's choose to believe that He also has a plan to fulfill them.

Still Life

5-2-18
Psalm 71:3 (CSB)

Be a rock of refuge for me, where I can always go. Give the command to save me, for you are my rock and fortress.

Lord, there is a big difference between me knowing I can come to you and me actually doing it. But I know, either way, that you can save me, especially from myself. I want to turn to you, cling to you, run to you, but I don't. And the truth is, I have no idea why. I need new patterns to follow but feel helpless to decide what they should be. I want ways to hold myself accountable but fear becoming rigid and legalistic. But you know me and what will work. Help me to hear your voice on the things you would have me do that will shape me into the person you planned from the start.

That was my prayer yesterday when I did my adoration verse in the afternoon. That last plea, as soon as I wrote it, opened my eyes to a startling truth: I do not believe that I am the person God intended me to be.

But what if I am? What if, right where I live and breathe, I am exactly who God planned for me to be at this moment in time? What if my lack of peace over the things I wish were different are actually His training ground to get me to understand more of who He is, and that my quirks and imperfections, are what will help me respond? What if He is actually shaping me on His wheel but I keep trying to throw myself off and shape myself?

On April 22, I sent my husband this text. To give you context, it was 4 days after what I am going to lovingly call The Crash and Burn.

Why do I resist what I know is true? Why would I rather white knuckle everything

in fear, trying to control rather than trust? No need to answer, just putting it out there.

As I sit here, I look at those words, and would honestly love to hear my husband's answer to those questions. I think.

But here's the thing. From the moment that fire (or more accurately smoke event) started, I have felt like I am crashing and burning. I told a friend yesterday it feels like my body is shutting down at a rapid pace. Not literally, more metaphorically. Like I was running on fight mode for so long that the decrease in pace, activity, and stress feels like I am standing still and unable to move. Perhaps my control freak, type A personality has been more of an adreneline addiction than anything else.

But what if this crash and burn is exactly what God ordered to shape me? What if it really isn't about me doing anything, or coming up with a list of activities to track, but rather allowing the circumstances He brings to transform me, my thoughts, my heart, and my mind? What if the ashes of this mess are to be put on my head in repentence for resisting His direction, love, and truth, until something beautiful rises out of them?

The Danny Gokey song Masterpiece is on my Psalm 68:6 playlist. The lyrics at the refrain are:

You're making a masterpiece

Your shaping the soul in me

You're moving where I can't see

And all I am is in Your hands

You're taking me all apart

Like it was Your plan from the start

To finish Your work of art for all to see

You're making a masterpiece

If you know me at all, you know I can't draw worth a lick. And as I see those words, I realize I have a choice to make. I can either make myself and end up with what will amount to a stick figure or I can hand back the brush, pencil, paint, and canvas I took from God's hands and let Him make me into something He will put up on His walls.

It's not that we are absolved of any responsibility in becoming who God intended us to be. But we need to realize that sometimes the most productive and active thing we can do is quit resisting what He is initiating to accomplish His vision. All we have to do is look around us and see all the beauty He created and trust He is doing the same in us. We just need to be still long enough that He can add all the final touches.

Faith, Fear, & Deeds

Last week I wrote about Curious Cats and the human logic that believes knowledge is power. While I stand by what I wrote, this morning I realized why it's such a faulty thought. At least for me. Knowledge alone doesn't really have the power to change anything. We could all list an array of facts about the state of the world that wouldn't make a hill of beans of difference in their reality. However, understanding, with a desire to move towards action, that's a whole new ball game right there.

This past weekend I heard a sermon at church that made a lot of sense. The premise was that we need to stop saying 'my thoughts and prayers are with you' which does little to practically help the person in their time of need, and then move to doing something that is beneficial. Whether it's bringing a meal, watching their kids, or lending someone our car. As you might have assumed, the sermon was based on James 2:14-17. And as I thought about the sermon more and more, there were a few things that kept swirling around in my head.

James asks the question Can faith without deeds save a person? And the answer is probably not. I'm sure most of us remember the old joke about the person in a flood where God sends a row boat, a motor boat, and a helicopter but the man drowns anyway. Upon entering heaven the man asks God why, if in faith he believed God would save him, that He didn't come through. God (I imagine with tilted head and a slightly exaggerated tone) responds with What did you think the row boat, motor boat, and helicopter were for? The man had the faith but without the action of getting in one of the boats or on the helicopter, he was going to drown.

Now, I learned at church that the verbal response of Go in peace; keep warm and well fed was a pagan sentiment. This was followed by the idea that we can't expect non-Christians to act like Christians. Now, this makes sense. Perfect sense. Because as Christians we know that we are to do for the least of these, do unto others, and love our neighbor as ourselves. So then the logical question comes, if we know this, why aren't we acting on it?

And the reality is, without understanding the reason behind our lack of effort or involvement, doing will never come naturally to most of us. There are some of us who are flat out doers. I've witnessed them in complete amazement. But for the rest of us who might tend to freeze, I think for a good bit of us, it's not necessarily an inability to come up with an idea (most likely generated by the Spirit of God whispering in our ear), it's fear that stops us.

If we are in a situation where our grocery bill is out of control, making someone else a meal is going to terrify us because we don't know that there will still be enough for our family. If someone desperately needs a night out and you want to watch their kids or bring them to your house we don't know how we will manage to do that because of the age difference between their kids and ours. And if someone's car just died and we want to lend them ours for a period of time, we don't know how we will manage without our second vehicle with all of our obligations.

That is what I beleive James means when he writes Faith without action is dead. Without action that shows we believe God will supply our needs as we meet the needs of others, that faith is pretty much on its last breath.

The scary part of this is that we have evidence surrounding us of all God is capable of doing. And yet we suffer from a scarcity mentality that there won't be enough. Enough food, enough resources, enough time, enough whatever. We function as if His resources are limited, our welcome can be worn out, and that we'll suffer consequences if we did something but weren't supposed to as if He's going to teach us a harsh lesson about listening to the Spirit with more accuracy.

Now, before we get all up in arms, I can write this because this is me. I live more of my life in fear than anything else. I am getting better, but it's not easy. In yoga terms, this is stretching me like down dog into cobra, up on my toes, and thighs off the floor. It is uncomfortable and hard.

The good news is God doesn't typically expect us to jump into the deep end of the pool. He is patient with us, even in areas of growing our faith and confidence in Him. He made us, He knows our history, He knows our baggage, and He knows why some things are hard. It's also why He pushes us out of our comfort zones, pokes holes in our faulty logic, and invites us into opportunities to trust Him so that we can take more opportunities, maybe even big and scary ones, in the future.

But in order for any of this to happen, we have to get real with God about understanding why we think the way we do. We have to be willing to go back in time and see where the disconnect of belief begins. Is it something that happened when we were kids? Is it an experience that we watched someone else go through? Or is it that we haven't seen the redemption we desperately sought over a choice we know God called us to make that we see as a colossal flop? I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is always a root.

I know this is a challenge. If you have school aged kids, I'd liken this to a 3-dot Challenge 24 card. But if we can open our hearts to God on this one, we just might see evidence of mountain moving faith in more places than we think possible. And who knows, maybe with a little more action, we might shed a few pounds from all the extra weight we've been carrying as we put down the baggage we've been lugging around far too long.

Rapid Fire

The reading plan I am following (sort of, because I am ahead of schedule) had five psalms for today. And after I was done dropping my son off at school, I had on K-LOVE and heard Luis Palau say something that was a 'duh' moment. So rather than a regular post, it's going to be a rapid fire of truth bombs.

Psalm 25:2 CSB

do not let my enemies gloat over me.......

💣 Whenever our temptations lead to sin (ungodly choices), and get the best of us, the enemy is gloating

Psalm 25:15 CSB

My eyes are always on the LORD, for He will pull my feet out of the net.

💣 What if the distress we feel is the tension caused because God is trying to pull us out of the net that is holding us and we resist because it's comfortable, predictable, and don't see it as the trap He does?

Psalm 29:1-2 CSB

Ascribe to the LORD, you heavenly beings, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; worship the LORD in the splendor of His holiness.

💣 If we don't ascribe to the Lord glory and strength and worship His holiness, we will forget who He is, what He has done, and what He will do, and then default seeing Him as we see others.

Psalm 33:6 CSB

The heavens were made by the word of the LORD, and all the stars, by the breath of His mouth.

💣 If everything was created by His word alone, why do we doubt His ability?

Psalm 36:7 CSB

How priceless your faithful love is, God! Poeple take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

💣 In order to take refuge in the shadow of His wings, we have to get close.

Psalm 39:11 CSB

You discipline a person with punishment for iniquity, consuming like a moth what is precious to him

💣💣💣💣 When the Lord consumes like a moth what is precious to us, is it possible He is showing us the holes in our logic?

Now, as for K-LOVE....

Luis Palau quoted John 8:32 (NIV) Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (emphasis mine)

And all I could think about when I heard him quote this Scirpture was John 14:6 (NIV) I am the way and the truth and the life.....as well as Luke 4:18 (NIV) He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free. (emphasis mine)

Conclusion: It's really all about Jesus.