If today you hear His voice

Over the summer I started going through the Gospel of John.  When I got towards the end of Chapter 5, I read this in verses 39-40:

You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life.  These are the very Scriptures that testify about Me, yet you refuse to come to Me to have life.

When I read those words, I stopped, dead in my tracks, unable to move, horrified at the revelation of the reality I was living.  The reality I am still living.  The life I am tired of living, exhausted from continuing, and desperate to change.

When I first accepted the love that Jesus has for me, I was so desperate for His love that I would read my Bible and cry.  Big tears, little tears, silent tears, slowly streaming tears.  They fell freely, often, and confidently.  I was seeing myself for the first time through God's eyes and I was completely focused on absorbing as much as my heart could hold.  There were days I would fill it until it would burst, spilling contents everywhere, just so I could pour more in and start all over again.

But my motives were not pure.  Not in the least.  I didn't know it at the time, but they were based completely on selfish desires.  I felt I had to make up for lost time.  To make up for the lost years I didn't read a Bible, let alone own one.  I kept telling myself this was what I needed to live a successful life, a pain free life, a life that could endure anything because I would be armed with the Word of God and nothing could stop me.  I could be strong again and strength was motivation to keep going.

And while my knowledge grew, my heart died.  In the name of spiritual maturity, I didn't let myself feel anything.  I moved past hurts and offenses, covering them with the truth of God's Word instead of letting myself deal with my emotions.  If I was hurt by words, I would tell myself to forgive others as I have been forgiven.  If I was worried about a situation beyond my control, I would remind myself that God had a plan for it and His ways were higher than my ways.  I've been living like this for years.  And while knowing these truths has helped me endure, denying my true feelings has slowly been killing me.  I haven't cried, a good solid cry, in 6 years.  Yes, I have had tears fall, but not the big ones, not the ugly ones that get it all out, not the ones that make it difficult to breathe, and certainly not the ones that make you beg God to fix it while flat on your face.

I've been living in a body that I have covered with Scripture coated band-aids, if you can call what I've been doing living.  I would think that by the mere fact that I am breathing you can, but that might be the only qualification I meet.  And now, more than ever, I am ready to stop this madness.  

The problem is I don't know how.  Breaking what seemed like such a good habit to develop is not easy.  How do you start to open your heart and let things in when the walls are high, fortified, and have turned to stone?  How do you put down your sword and shield and let things hurt you when you've done such a fantastic job of avoiding pain for so long?  How do you trust that it won't kill you, make you weak and vulnerable, and render you unable to continue with all that you have on your plate?

I wish I had the answers beyond what I know in Scripture to be true.  I know that I need to beg God for a heart that is new and made of flesh.  A heart that bleeds, bruises, and heals.  But my Type A personality wants a plan, a step by step manual on how to do this.  

And so, I'm starting with prayer and confession.  I'm begging God to fix what I have so royally messed up.  I'm going to declare His truth over my life and admit the ways I have abused it and made it an idol.  And maybe, somehow through this process, I will be given His grace, and run freely into the open arms of Jesus like I did 11 years ago.  And maybe that reunion, the one I need more than my next breath, will be the one that gives me back my tears.

Jesus, I admit I have been living a life, filled with Your word, but not Your Spirit.  I have hardened my heart, built up walls, and done things in my own strength which is weak and faltering.  I want to be healed, I want to see this all from Your eternal perspective, and I want my tears back.  I have held so much in for so long when You have meant for me to use it to comfort others.  In your mercy, break me and help me to live again.  In Your precious and redeeming name I'm humbly asking for these things, amen. 

To do or not to do?

2 Samuel 7

There aren't many among us that don't enjoy doing things for others.  Whether they are done out of the goodness of our hearts, the feeling of satisfaction to see another smile, or false motives to gain recognition, we give our time, talents, and gifts to others.

There are also times we do things because of unspoken expectations that we think, or assume, exist.  We place pressure upon ourselves to perform, commit, or comply.  We over-extend ourselves to be accepted, liked, or deemed worthy.  And in the process, we become worn out, exhausted, and joyless.

David's words in the beginning of Chapter 7 strike me...."Here I am, living in a house of cedar, while the ark of God remains in a tent."  And there is Nathan, faithful friend, with his words of approval, "Whatever you have in mind, go ahead and do it, for the Lord is with you."

I wonder about the tone of David's voice.  Were his words spoken with a sigh?  Did they sound indignant?  Was there an element of boredom as if he were looking for something to do?  Could there have been a brightening of his eyes upon a revelation of what was next?  All things we aren't told that leave our minds to wonder.

After Nathan hastily blessed David's idea with his encouragement,  God sends His words to Nathan to ask David a question, 'Wherever I have moved with all the Israelites, did I ever say to any of their rulers whom I commanded to shepherd my people Israel, "Why have you not built me a house of cedar?" '  Game.Set.Match.

So many times I find myself filled with ideas based on those unspoken expectations that may or may not actually exist.  Most likely they are the whispers of the enemy to keep me bound to busyness and unfocused on what truly matters.  It's why I should always be seeking God as to what I should be doing with my time and talents before I jump headlong into something He doesn't have planned for me in the first place.

Recently, I had the opporunity to hear Beth Moore's talk at Passion 2017.  She put forth a challenge that I believe is difficult and worthy of accepting.  Are we willing to do what God has asked us to do without having it defined by a name, trying to nail it down to a process, and live a life lead by the Holy Spirit?  Is that even possible in a world where we feel defined by what we do?

Jesus told us that the two most important things are to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.  What if we applied that directive to everything we think we want to do or are wondering if we are called to do it?  Could we stop long enough to ask, "Will this help me love God and others well?"  And if not, we will be courageous enough to say no?

This process of rewiring our thinking and actions won't be easy, but I believe it's possible.  We can pray and seek God knowing that when we do, He will be found.  His desire has never been to keep us guessing to see if we'll get it right.  It's always been to lead us as we simply choose to follow Him.

Father, help us to slow down, to listen for your voice, and to quit thinking we are supposed to do things you haven't planned for us.  Remind us that we are to follow where You lead and give us the courage to do things without having to name it and claim it.  Amen

What do I do now?

2 Samuel 5

We know that David had a history with the Philistines.  Learning of his success likely brought up memories of his triumph over Goliath, spurred deeply rooted feelings of animosity, and lead them to search for him in full force.  But David heard of their intentions and sought the Lord, asking, "Shall I go and attack the Philistines?  Will you deliver them into my hands?"

I don't know that I would have the presence of mind to refrain from immediate action in a similar situation.  If God had been with me once in a massive upset, I would probably reason that the same would happen again.  But David wasn't like that.  Before moving on with his own ideas, he sought God to make sure it was His plan and then learned of the direction he was to take to be given the victory.

So much of our lives is done based on knee jerk reactions.  Opportunities arise, invitations come, or doors open and we automatically walk through them without giving it a second thought.  Usually this isn't a bad thing and there aren't eternal consequences.  However, this type of auto-pilot living can creep up on us and the results can lead us places we never intended to be.

In our media saturated world, we are presented with a constant barrage of the best way to do everything.  From raising our kids, loosing weight, buying a car, purchasing a home, scheduling a vacation, to investing our resources, experts abound with godly and ungodly advice about the actions we should take and the reasons why.  And while options are good, none of them should be acted upon without seeking God and His direction first.  He is, afterall, the one with the master plan.

I don't stop and ask for directions nearly as often as I should.  I think some things become so routine we don't even notice that we should have changed courses days, weeks, or months ago.  Heaven forbid it should have been years.  It's time to accept that asking for directions isn't just for the larger decisions we need to make.  The smaller ones over time certainly mount up and lead to both good and bad outcomes.  We are directed to 'cast our cares on Him because He cares for us, to seek Him first, and to do nothing out of selfish ambition'.  Perhaps doing things God's way won't eliminate the difficulties we are all guaranteed to encounter, but it might just keep our minds in perfect peace because we followed Him to our current state.

Father, independence is something we seek until we realize that it's in-dependence on You that we truly live the abundant life.  Search our hearts, reveal to us our motives, and guide us to walk in your ways in the big and small decisions we make every day.  Remind us that as we rely on You, the peace that seems so elusive, will come and keep our thoughts and hearts guarded.  Amen.

  

Too much or not enough?

1 Samuel 17

The story of David and Goliath is familiar.  It's not easy to think you can read it, again, and find something new or exciting.  And while each translation varies slightly, the NIV offered some insights I hadn't seen before.  The most notable, that Goliath had a shield bearer before him.

Apparently it was common practice to have someone protecting the leader or the strongest fighter, but Goliath was 9 foot 9 inches tall and he had someone in front of him carrying a shield.  First, if the armor bearer were to try to deflect an arrow from Goliath and he had to raise the shield up, he wouldn't have been able to adequately protect his head.  Unless he was tall himself or had unusually long arms, in order to maintain possession of the shield, he could only lift it so high and hold it steadily.  Second, if the Philistines were protecting him, they also knew that without him, they had major weaknesses that could be overcome.  Third, Goliath was shouting to the ranks of Israel from his position, taunting them to meet him in the middle with their chosen fighter.  I don't know why I never noticed that this entire ordeal, up to the point of David's involvment, seems to be nothing more than a staring contest with smack talk.

But David did show up and things changed.  Right or wrong, he was offeneded for God and was not about to let the smack talk go.  Despite the strained relationship with his brothers, and their questions regarding his motives, David believed in God enough from past experiences to take on this giant of a man.  Furthermore, his appearance was enough to incite Goliath even more.  Goliath noted that David was 'little more than a boy, glowing with health and handsome, and he despised him.'  This just shows that even those who fit the part of bravery, strength, and courage, can still have significant insecurities.

Yet what strikes me most about this account is David's confidence.  Saul dressed David in his armor and David basically said, "Thanks, but no thanks."  He was aware of the gifts and talents God had given him and he was trusting God to make them enough against his opponent.

There are days that I struggle with thoughts of being too much and not enough at the same time.  Am I too much for someone to have a conversation with because everything utlimately comes through a lens of faith?  Am I not enough because I don't have a standard career outside of taking care of my family?  Am I too much because I'm open and honest about my struggles?  Am I not enough because they are still struggles?  So many aspects of my life seem to put me in one category or the other, and quite often both, by the sheer nature of their characteristics.

But like David, I can trust that God.  I believe He can take my not enough, or my weaknesses, and let His power rest on me to make me strong.  I also believe that He can take my strengths, infuse them with that same power, and work through me to do things that can only be of Him.  Either way, I know He can meet all of my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ.

Every day, like David, we make choices based on what we are facing, feeling, and experiencing.  We can choose to trust God or rely on ourselves.  But like Goliath, we also have a shield bearer.  God promises to go before us wherever we are headed and that we are never alone because He is always by our side.  Maybe the time has arrived for us to walk boldly into the battles that are coming our way, trusting that we are enough to deal with them because He has made us enough, and is enough Himself, to see us through.

Father, we want to be brave and bold.  We want to be courageous and strong in our faith.  Remind us when fears creep in, that you are not only going before us, but will give us exactly what we need to see it through to the end.  Strengthen us with the knowledge that Your grace is always enough.  In Jesus name, amen.

If it's to be, it's not up to me.....

1 Samuel 13:11-12

"What have you done?"  asked Samuel.

Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Mikmash, I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord's favor.'  So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."

I wish I could say I was not guilty of this very thing.  But I am a Type A control freak.  And I struggle with faith not works.  And I too have felt compelled to do things to put the odds in my favor.  Granted I haven't done a burnt offering ever, but I have most certainly burnt myself out doing things my way instead of God's.

For example:  You purchase a system to help you achieve a goal.  The goal is not a bad one and you know that you are in it for the right reasons; however, you, wanting to tip the scales in your favor, decide to add more to what the experts have deemed necessary because you want results faster. #burnout

Putting  more faith in the system to achieve the results you want, than in the God who will provide them, is not a good idea.  1 Corinthians 3:7 says, "So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."  Our microwave mentality has trained us to believe that if the results we want don't come instantly, then we must put forth more effort, more self-determination, and more self-control if we are to get where we intend to go.  And every time we do that, we subtract God and His perfect timing from the equation.

In Hebrews we read that without faith it is impossible to please God.  I've often struggled with that because I didn't understand what it really meant.  But from life experience, and a really good sermon, I am coming to realize that it's about the faith to believe that He will bring what He wants us to have in His timing and that following Him to that destination is sufficient.   Even when His ways make less sense or are counterintuitive to what we think.  His ways are now, and always have been, higher than ours. Maybe it's time to live like we believe that.

Father, we know our own stubbornness to think we know more.  But the reality is, You created us and You know us better than we know ourselves.  You know what we need.  Help us to find our joy in You and to trust that in seeking You first, that everything else You want us to have will be added.  In Jesus name, amen.

True Beauty

I am currently reading The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp.  There aren't words to describe how challenging this book is.  And not challenging in a bad way, challenging in a life changing way.  To be courageous enough to believe that what she is putting out there really is true.  And everything on these pages is backed in Scripture from Genesis to Revelation.  It's not that there can be any doubt to her thoughts.  The challenge is in believing them enough to have them make an impact.

In Chapter Six, Ann is retelling of a time she was on a plane, sitting next to a Rabbi and the conversation, although mostly one sided, that took place.  The Rabbi asked:

"Why do you people always say it's about having a strong belief in God?  Who sits with the knowing that God's belief in you is even stronger than yours in Him?  You may believe in God, but never forget ~ it's God who believes in you.  Every morning that the sun rises and you get to rise?  That's God saying He believes in you, that He believes in the story He's writing through you.  He believes in you as a gift the world needs."

And then Ann asks herself, and ultimately the reader, if they are living like they fully believe that.  She then goes on to ask if Jesus is gracious to us, why would be cruel to ourselves?  And finally puts forth the premise that the moment God stops believing in us, is the moment He'd have to stop believing that He is enough.

Perhaps it's just me in all of my insecurities, fears, and doubts that is struggling with this kind of truth.  Truth that says even though you aren't perfect, and you don't do everything perfectly, you are perfect in my eyes.    How do you accept that, how do you believe that, and how do you act like that matters?  What does the life that clings to that look like?

I want to believe all of these things are true but I look in the mirror.  I see my shortcomings, short temper, and where I fall short of His glory.  I want to live out of belief that what I see doesn't matter and that His thoughts about me are the accurate ones, but much to my dismay, I hear my own voice more than I hear His.

This year is only 26 days old today.  I don't want to get to day 365 and still be in the same place I am now, struggling with  my own net worth, believing I am not enough and too much at the same time.  There are so many conflicting messages about what we should or shouldn't do.  But the rubric for life doesn't come from a magazine article, a breaking news story, a facebook link, or a research facility on a medical campus.  The only standard of living we have is the Word of God.  And maybe it's time we put more stock in it than anything else.

Father, we live so much inside of our heads.  The things we think influence the things we do and the results we see and a great deal of this is not what You intend or desire for us.  Help us think Your thoughts through a renewed mind and give us the courage to believe that Your love for us is personal, intentional, and unconditional.  In Jesus name, amen.

The Big Picture

1 Samuel 3

Not long ago Hillary Scott released a song called "Thy Will Be Done."  It's an incredible testimony about trusting God in situations that you know you followed God but it didn't go quite as you had planned or hoped.  It's filled with sorrow, pain, and incredible truths about who God is.  It's a reminder that despite what we see in front of us, He is in control and His love for us is greater than we can understand until we see Him face to face.

But getting to that point, the point where you can borrow the words of Eli and say, "He is the Lord; let Him do what is good in His eyes," takes time.  Faith that withstands the test of time isn't grown overnight, on the easy road, or without conflict.  It takes a significant amount of confidence to get from point A to point B without getting completely discouraged and walking away.  Confidence in God, who He says He is, and belief that He can do the impossible, only comes with experience, and experience requires commitment on our part to see some things through to the end.  Even the things that hurt, challenge, and threaten us with deep fears filled with insecurity and a broken heart.

When Jesus was on His way to be crucified, He was in pain.  He didn't enjoy the physical suffereing of His impending death, the mocking of who He was, or the devastation He saw on the faces of those He loved.  But He knew why He was doing it and what made it all worth it.  He was willing to move forward despite the aches running rampantly through His body for you, for me, for those we love.  And we are challenged to do the same.  To lay down our rights for the benefit of others.  To boast about our weaknesses, so that as Christ's power rests on us, others can see it and be strengthened in hope and turn to Him also.

As we run our race, it's easy to become hyper-focused on what we want Jesus to say to us when we reach the finish line.  We want to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant," and know we gave it everything we had.  But what if instead of living to hear those words when we die, we continue on our jorney looking back and deciding it's all been worth it.  Every ounce of heartache, every tear that rolls down our cheeks, every unspoken prayer that was answered differently than we'd hoped, because through it all, we grew closer to the One who loves us unconditionally.  What if we were to pray that the Lord will do what is good in His eyes, because we truly believe that His eyes see a big picture that rivals any masterpiece human hands have created.

Father, sometimes our fear is so much bigger than our faith.  Help us to stay strong in You, to lean on You when we feel like we can't stand a minute longer, and to trust that You know our needs and will meet them for our good and Your glory.  Help us to look back on where we've been with you and say it's all been worth it.  We ask these things in the matchless name of Jesus.  Amen.

Grace Not Perfection

Judges 16

I would venture to say we have all done some stupid things in our day.  I was going to be nice about it and describe them as less than intelligent, but the reality is, they are just stupid.  Many of them might have been done for what we might consider at the time good reasons, or at least enough reason to justify them, but that doesn't make them less stupid, it just makes our motives understandable.

I would like to say that Samson makes me want to tilt my head to the side and just say, "Really?"  But I get him.  Not the part of him that was arrogant enough to believe he could do whatever he wanted without consequence, or the part of him that clearly tested God's limits, but the part of him that was motivated by love, or at least what was love to him.  Granted, it was more likely lust considering he 'saw' Delilah and went to be with her before he ever knew her, but he stuck around after the fact, so there must have been something beyond that as well.

Despite her attempts to render him useless by asking him to reveal the secrets of his strength, and despite his lies and subsequent humiliation of her by making her look like a fool, they remained together.  Eventually she wore him down and he told her everything.  His honesty was the beginning of the end, where everything, literally, came crashing down around him.

Love, or what we perceive as love, makes us vulnerable and asks us to let down our guard in ways we might normally not.  But love should never ask us to do things that go against who we are, bring about shame, or leave us with regrets.  The destruction from decisions that can not be reversed can haunt us for years and leave us scarred, defensive, and broken in untold, unspoken ways.

Thankfully, God is a the God of restoration.  His specialty is bringing what looks dead back to life and giving back what the locusts have eaten.  It's important to understand the magnitude of what it means to be a child of God, labeled as set apart and holy, and bought at a price.  If we could truly wrap our limited minds around the way God thinks about us, the likelihood of us making stupid decisions in the future would be drastically reduced.

Even though we will never live a day of perfection, we can improve.  We need to remind ourselves and others that God doesn't condemn us for not being perfect.  Instead, He reaches out His hand, helps us get back up, dusts us off, and says, "Let's try this again."  Not in our own strength, not by our own grit and determination, and never alone.  The beauty of His offer is that let's means 'let us', Him with us.

Jesus, the scars in Your hands, feet, and side prove the depth of Your great love.  Love that is willing to lay itself down for the object of its affection.  Give us the wisdom to begin to understand a love that's so deep, wide, and immeasurable that we don't compromise or underestimate our worth.  In Your eyes we are priceless, help us to live like we believe it.  Amen.

Heart Check

Judges 4

Again:  adverb;(1)  once more, another time, anew, in addition. (2) in an additional case or instance, moreover, besides, furthermore.

Example:  Again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord, now that Ehud was dead.

The book of Judges is not a pleasant read.  It's filled with violence, arrogance, and massive amounts of stupidity.  To contrast the condition of the human heart, there are also moments of grace, mercy, compassion, and deliverance from God that make you tilt your head in awe and wonder about the depths of His love.  Love that is boundless.  Love that didn't spare His Son.  Love for you and me.

The first sentence of Chapter 4 sums up so much of our lives.  We could easily substitute our names for the Israelites and have it read like this:  Again, Bob did evil in the eyes of the Lord.  Again, Gloria did evil in the eyes of the Lord.  Again, Jenn did evil in the eyes of the Lord.

The thing we must wrestle with though is what defines evil.

It's easy to see the fruit of evil.  What happens as a result of evil.  But what truly defines it is significantly more in depth  ~ and something I am not capable of explaining adequately.  But as only God can orchestrate, I was recently privelaged to hear a talk about what evil is, in its purest, deadliest state.  I listened intently with the hope of understanding this complex subject.  What I didn't expect was to see the reality of it in my own life to the degree it exists.

We think of evil by the magnitude of its impact and we neglect to see that even the most horrendous acts have the same root of evil as the ones we commit ourselves.  The only difference between them, the fruit.  Some fruit is bigger than others but the amount of destruction ~ lasting impact on others and those that come after us ~ can be just as devastating.

So, I challenge you, find some time to sit down and listen to what I heard.  Find the areas of your life where your name can be inserted into the statement  "Again ______________ did evil in the eyes of the Lord."  And then accept the truth that God loves you despite your bad decisions, that He wants to give you a new heart and a new Spirit that you can follow hard after Him, and that through the blood of the risen Christ, you are more than an overcomer.

Lord, this is hard.  We don't want to see the reality of our hearts and where they stray from You.  But we also know that You love us entirely too much to leave us where we are.  I pray that everyone who chooses to understand the extent of their brokenness is blessed by a restoration that reveals Your glory and shines a light in their heart so bright that others come to see You in them.  Grow in us a desire to find our joy in You alone.  In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Please follow the link to find the Passion 2017 talk by John Piper:  The Ultimate Essence of Evil.

Greater Love

Joshua 24

I am not the world's strongest record keeper.  Yes, I can keep track of the checkbook and make sure all the bills are paid on time, but a record keeper, like say a baby book, not so much.  I always thought, "I'll remember when it happened."  Here's what I learned the hard way:  Mommy brains don't remember anything.  Ever.  Unless it comes to a health matter.  Then we are hyper aware of everything related.  This is why I have one sort of worked on baby book and one that has a name and a couple stats.  Sad but true.

As I read Joshua 24, I see him recounting all of the things the Lord did before the Israelites through their journey into the promised land.  Battles won, enemies subdued, promises made and kept.  This pep talk before his death was done to reinforce what they knew and hold them accountable for the commitment they were about to make.

In Joshua 24:23, he gives the people some sound advice.  "Throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the LORD, the God of Israel."

While we might not be inclined to think that foreign gods are among us the way they were in Joshua's time, we certainly have them.  They may not be idols fashioned from gold or silver made by human hands in a fire, but we certainly put plenty above the position only God should have in our lives.  Money, power, possessions, status, etc.  Anything that takes the place only He deserves is an idol.

Yielding our hearts is not something we can do independently.  We need God to guide us through it and we need the encouragement and accountability others can provide.  It's not about who can follow the most rules, it's about deciding that what He says is best for us really is what is going to bring us the abundant life Jesus promised to give us in full.

Each of us has areas where we are off track.  We need to be honest with ourselves as to where they are and seek God on how to re-route.  It might not be the most pleasant thing we do, and the process will likely be a bit painful.  But the reality is, if we lay down our rights and our lives, the glory that shines in us is used to help another.

John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."  So the only question that remains is this:  What are we willing to lay down for the benefit each other?  For our friends, our neighbors, our spouses, our kids.

Jesus, the thought of sharing in your sufferings by giving up and laying down the things that are difficult for us is overwhelming.  But we know that in Your strength we can do it.  Help us to see not only the areas where we need to re-route, but also the truth that You are going to lead us through it, empower us to do it, and cover us with your grace as we endure it.  It's in Your powerful name we pray.  Amen.

Just Breathe

Joshua 10

Time is one of those things that always feels like it's in short supply.  There are so many good things we want to do but with responsibilities, commitments, and demands, there never seems to be enough to go around for everything.  Plus, if we did everything, we'd be exhausted and nothing would get done well, least of all with the excellence we are called to work with.

Reading where the sun stood still and delayed going down for about a day makes me wonder what I'd do with the extra time.  The answer to that question alone shows a lot about a person's priorities.  Not necessarily the ones you are living, but the ones you wish you were living.  And when you answer it you are likely to realize one of two things:  where you really want to be investing your time or where you are spending too much time.

For example, if you say you'd spend more time with a friend, your family, volunteering, etc. it can force you to look at what has taken a priority over that thus limiting your availability to do it.  Is it mindless scrolling on social media, addicting game apps, or perfecting the condition of your home?  Are you binge watching Netfllix, shopping on amazon for things you aren't buying, or obsessing over things you can't control?  Once you know what is taking your time, you can begin to make the necessary adjustments to overcome the obstacle.

Now please realize I am not writing from a place of excellent time stewardship.  I am just learning this one myself.  But here's what I've realized so far......When you prioritize properly, somehow your time multiplies, your energy increases, you become more productive, AND you even find pockets of time you didn't know existed.  It is the complete reality of "Seek first" and then having "all these things added" to your life.

Knowing we only have one life to live and we have no idea when our time will be up, we need to make sure we steward it as wisely as we can.  I still enjoy my biggest 'time waster' but not nearly to the extent I was and definitely not to the detriment of my priorities and most important responsibilities.  (My daughter has an app on her ipod that mommy decided was the best game in the world ~ out of respect for your time, I won't be sharing what it is.)  And sometimes we have a lot of good things on our plates.  It's why we need to seek God in determining what's best.  That's the only way we will realize that the other things either weren't as important as we think they were OR this just isn't the season for them.

Jesus, there are so many things that seek our attention.  Help us to focus on the things You have entrusted to our care and help us to do them with excellence.  Reveal the things that are robbing us of joy because we are spreading ourselves to thin.  And build our faith in the knowledge that what was removed was done through a blessed subtraction.  In Your peace~giving name we pray.  Amen.

Breathe ~ official lyric video

Thy Will Be Done

I would venture to say that most of us have been in a situation where we felt like we had been set up.  Set up for failure or set up for success.  Either one feels like you just walked into a perfect storm of circumstances that are heading towards some outcome you didn't plan for or anticipate.

Since 2011, with each new year, I have listened for God to give me a word to focus my attention.  In years past they have been:  restoration, healing, confidence, endurance, overcome, believe.  This year, my word is grace.

Because of a divine set up, I became the "owner" of some powerful resources.  To name just a few:  Powersheets by Lara Casey, The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp, and a membership to sheworksHisway.

Because of my membership to sheworksHisway, I have been challenged in my leadership role as a wife, mother, and child of God.  This resource filled with classes, devotions, and extras has been used by God to cultivate some pretty unlikely fruit ~ namely consistency, a desire to grow as a person, and an understanding of stewardship in time/resources/and blessings.

The Broken Way has given me a perspective of what life is supposed to look like when you actively pursue Jesus.  This book is not for the faint of heart and should not be read unless you are ready to be pushed to your limits of understanding.  I've said this many times before and I'll say it many times in the future:  you can not argue the premises that Ann Voskamp puts out there for you to consider and then you can not ignore the information you now have.  You have to do something with it because as hard as it is to swallow, you know that God wouldn't have brought it up if it didn't need adjusting.

The Powersheets helped me plan goals for 2017.  Resolutions are fantastic but let's be real.  If you'd stuck to all the ones you've made in the past, you probably wouldn't be making any in the present.  Her process not only helped me name and claim them, but also work out the action steps to achieving them.  And while your goals can be anything, she helps you focus on your motives behind them, how they will benefit you and others.  One of mine was to start memorizing Scripture again the way I used to.

As I said earlier, my word for the year is grace.  It's January 20th.  I've memorized two verses so far, and my third is just about planted in my heart.  The first one I memorized was Acts 20:24........

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me.  My only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me ~ the task of testifying to the Good News of God's grace.

I told a dear friend yesterday that what I have had in mind for my words and what God's intentions have been, has yet to match up.  This year, barely 3 weeks old, has hit me with some pretty solid punches about understanding what it will mean to testify to the Good News of God's grace.  And the variation from what I thought and His thoughts could not have been more different.  (My other two verses so far have been Acts 20:32 and 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.)

If you take the resources and a little bit of living and mash it all up, you get my current set of circumstances.  Unexpected, uninvited, and unwanted.  But, shall we take the good from God and not the bad?  No, never, heaven forbid.

As I tucked my babies (11 and 13) in last night, I told them that while I would never have 'picked' the hardest things I have gone through, I also wouldn't change them because those have been the times that God has grown my faith the most, drawn my heart closer to His, and made me to look more like Him.  Nothing this world could ever offer me would make me trade that kind of truth for a cheap imitation of it.

And so here I sit, praying that the road I am about to walk will be like so many others in the past:  fruitful, full of purpose, and a revelation of His glory that I can't even imagine.  I know that I will see Him giving me daily bread and that the needs that arise will be met in His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  Because the truth is the word of His grace will buid me up and His grace will always be sufficient in my weaknesses.  My Hope has never disappointed me yet, and I can say with confidence, it's not going to start now.

Father, You have a plan that we can't see that is for our good.  Above all else, Your love is magnified in the things You use to increase our knowledge, dependence, and praise of You.  Not because You are selfish, but because you know that when we understand that, that when we live like that, we will have the abundant life you came to give.  Help us accept whatever is coming our way and to trust that where we are going, You are leading.  In the powerful, redeeming, glorious name of Jesus, amen.

The sheworksHisway membership portal will open for new members next week.

Hillary Scott's song, "Thy Will Be Done" is here.

Counterintuitive

Joshua 6

Military strategy is not something I am familiar with at all.  As I listen to my 13 year old play video games where he and his friends coordinate strikes and raids to overtake alien territories, I have no idea how to interpret their moves, motives, reasoning, or objectives.  The only part of the missions I understand is that when it goes well, he's celebratory in his response, and when it doesn't, he's not.

That said, I do have enough common sense to realize that marching around your intended target, blowing horns, and carrying a sacred object, is not your typical attack plan.  I can also assume that demonstrating this same behavior for 6 days would tip off your enemies to your behaviors and would increase your chances of facing an ambush.  Further, I can reasonably guess that doing mostly the same thing on the 7th day but for a longer period of time and adding a shout is not likely to make anything significant happen.  That is unless God tells you to do these things.  In that case, you're pretty much assured of a positive outcome.

I don't know God's logic in this particular strategy to deliver Jericho to Joshua and the Israelites.  But I'm not called to know it, understand it, explain it, or analyze it.  My only responsibility is to believe in faith that if this is the record of the attack, the 'black box recorder' of the event, then this is the way it happened.  

There are many times in Scritpure we are told to do things that are counterintuitive.  If someone slaps your cheek ~ turn and offer the other, pray for your enemies, lose your life to gain it, etc.  But probably the most challenging, and rewarding, is the one that says:  Follow Me.  Even when you don't know where I am going, why I am leading you there, or what I am planning for when we arrive.  Just drop what you're doing and come along.  Oh and by the way, it won't be easy, you'll have to trust Me when you can't see, and the likelihood of people giving you strange looks is pretty high.  The only thing I can say is that the payoff at the end is beyond what you can imagine.  

Doing things God's way in our world goes against most of what modern culture teaches, expects, or thinks is best.  But we are told His ways and thoughts are higher so why we would ever trade the truth of God for a lie?

Several times before this account, Joshua is told to be strong, courageous, and unafraid.  He is repeatedly reminded that God is going with him wherever he goes and that he should be encouraged as he moves forward in his leadership role.  We have those same expectations and promises upon us.  The only difference between Joshua and us is that we hold the entire story in our hands and can look back to see God's faithfulness and allow it to propel us forward.

Jesus, help us to see more from your perspective.  Not the details but the goal to have our faith built up through the waters You will carry us through.  Strengthen us so that we don't grow weary in doing what is good, remind us that our hope will not disappoint, and that what You have started, You will complete.  In Your powerful name we pray.  Amen

Seeking Success

Joshua 1

I don't know that any of us have a lifelong dream of being a complete failure.  To not accomplish any of the goals we set for ourselves, to not do anything to help others, or to leave earth with no legacy to be celebrated.  We want to outlive our lifespan and have the fact that we were here in the first place matter.  The question is, how on earth do we manage that?

First, I think we need to realize that our words have power.  We can use them to breathe life into ourselves and others.  They can be used to influence and encourage generations far beyond us because their impact lays a foundation for those yet to come.  Think back to that teacher, friend, or stranger that said something that changed the trajectory of your life.  While they likely didn't understand the magnitude of their interaction with you, it set a course not only for your life, but for all those within your circle because of the ripple effect.

Second, we need to remember we aren't just here for us.  We aren't supposed to just kick back and relax once we accomplish what we set out to do while others are still working and struggling.  We are meant to take our experiences out into the world and use them for the good of all.

Finally, I think we need to be intentional about the goals we are setting for ourselves.  Home ownership and comfortable retirement accounts are great, but if you raise kids that don't visit you because they are so focused on attaining those things for themselves, what have you succeeded in doing?  Success can't be an accumulation of assets and wealth that can disappear in the blink of an eye.  Success should be about loving others well to free them to do the same.  To be generous with your time and attention to make others feel valued and important.  To be the hands and feet of Jesus that reach out to pick someone else up and say that it's not over yet.

God tells Joshua to keep the Book of the Law always on his lips and to think about it day and night so that he is careful to do what it says.  He tells him that if he does these things he will be successful and prosperous.  Jesus later tells us the greatest commandment is to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul and then to love others as ourselves.  Why?  Because when our hearts and minds are set right on what matters most, the overflow of our hearts will direct our words, actions, beliefs, and intentions.

I don't ever want to be defined or valued by what I do or not own.  However, I do want to be defined by Who owns me.  As a child of God, bought with the blood of Christ, the only success and prosperity I want to actively seek is being faithful in what Jesus asks me to do.  I would much rather lay up treasures in heaven that moth and rust can not destroy and a thief can not steal than gather earthly possessions that can't come with me.

Jesus, help us to focus on what matters most: seeking You above all else, being satisfied with You more than anything else, and giving You all the glory for the abundant life others see us live.  We want success Your way because Your way brings joy and peace.  Amen

Joy For The Journey

Deuteronomy 31

The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you;  He will never leave nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

We can 'know' a lot of things that we don't do anything about.  We know exercise is good for us but many don't commit to doing it.  We know that water is important for our bodies but many of us don't commit to drinking enough of it.  And we know that a verse like this is filled with promises and exhortations but many of us don't live like we believe it.  Why is that?  Where is that disconnect between our mind and our heart?  Is it possible to overcome it and if so, how?

Let's say you want to go on a roadtrip.  Depending on where you are headed and the time of year you are traveling, you can bump into a number of obstacles that make the journey more challenging.  Hurricanes, tornadoes, ice, snow, mountains, flooding, and excessive temperatures one way or the other can impact your trek, adding time, lessening the experience, and diminishing your resolve to arrive ~ that is unless you have a passion and purpose to get there in the first place.

But what about getting knowledge to travel from your head to your heart?  What of that?

Roadblock #1:  Your eyes.  Shiney objects distract us.  You don't need to have ADHD to have your intentions side-swiped by a fire that needs put out, an opportunity that will expire, or another offer that is less daunting.

Roadblock #2:  Your ears.  One word of doubt or discouragement is enough to derail the fastest train on a non-stop track to your destination.  The moment your motives, intentions, or abilities are called in to question is the moment you will re-direct, re-think, and re-examine why you were doing something in the first place and likely re-route.

Roadblock #3:  Your mouth.  Highly related to roadblock #2, those words do not need to come from someone else.  The way you talk to yourself and about yourself will significantly impact the likelihood of your success rate.

So what do you do?  How do you manage to overcome when you are overwhelmed?

Emergency Preparedness

1.  Visual Correction:  Use the light of God's word to shine on the next step you are supposed to take.  Keep your eyes fixed on the author and perfecter of your faith.  Remind yourself that by focusing on Jesus' promise to go before you and to always be with you means you can stay the course because the same one who made that mountain you are trying to climb is the one who can throw it into the sea.

2.  Audiotory Correction:  Learn what negativity sounds like and immediately put it in with the rest of the trash.  Recycle that garbage with the power of God's word and promises to make it align with His truth not the gospel according to whomever just threw a lie, doubt, or disbelief your way.

3.  Verbal Correction:  Realize that words have power.  I am not going to advocate prideful arrogance.  I will advocate reminding yourself that you are a child of God and with that comes some heavy hitting weapons.  You ARE fearfully and wonderfully made, you ARE created to do things He's prepared for you, you ARE His masterpiece, and what He has begun in you ~ He WILL complete.

Traveling is never an incident free experience.  It requires endurance, perseverance, confidence, and blessed assurance.  We have all of those things inside of us because the Spirit of God lives in us.  We've been given His word as our roadmap to abundant life.  Maybe if we stop relying on Google and Siri for directions, we'll not only arrive at our final destination, but we'll avoid the fatigue and jetlag that often comes with a long trip.

Jesus, sometimes the road just feels daunting.  But if You are leading the way, we have every reason to believe that we're heading the right direction.  Strengthen us in our weakness, renew our minds as needed, and remove the baggage of anxiety that can slow us down.  Thank you for going before us, staying with us, and reminding us that we never have to be afraid.  In Your precious name, Amen.

What Love Does

Exodus 20

Our hearts are naturally rebellious.  It's a byproduct of free will.  We want to do what we want to do when we want to do it for the reasons we want to do it.  We don't like being told not to do something we want to do or to do something we don't.

But God doesn't give arbitrary commands.  He knows things that we don't.  He sees the big picture, while we see what's in front of us.  He sees consequences, we see what we want.  He sees the heartache our choice will cost us, we see the thrill of our action.  He sees the impact on others, we see our selfish desires.

There isn't one among us who doesn't wish we could go back and undo something that caused harm we didn't anticipate.  Heaven knows my list is a mile long.  But that list has also taught me something valuable.  God places His boundaries where He does for a reason:  love.

We give our kids boundaries because we love them and we don't want them to be hurt or suffer.  We want to protect our kids for as long as we humanly can because the thought of their heart breaking splits ours right in two.  It's not about cruelty or wanting to be the fun killer, it's about protection.  Protection of their minds, hearts, souls, feelings, emotions, bodies.  And if we show them our unconditional love, and they understand the magnitude of our commitment to them, they are more likely to accept our instructions.  Not all the time, there is that free will aspect to contend with, but at the very least they will realize that what we said was for their own good.

And if this is how we parent our kids, why would we expect anything less from God?  As our Father, He has given us His expectations for a reason.  We may not understand them, we may not like them or agree with them, but they are there for a reason.

The Greek word used for commandment in the New Testament (Matthew 22:38) is en-tol-ay', which means authoritative prescription.  Maybe as the Great Physician, Jesus was trying to teach us that what we see as a limiting rule is actually meant to bring us wholeness and health.  Assuming there are few of us that actually enjoy being sick, maybe it's time we take His medicine preventatively.

Jesus, we know that we will never do everything perfectly while we draw breath on earth.  But with Your help and sufficient grace, we can do better today than we did yesterday.  Help us to rely on your strength to make better decisions so that as we get healthy, we can help make others healthy, too.  Amen.

  

Enough For Today

Exodus 16

I am a morning person.  I wake up at an ungodly hour, even on the weekends, and begin my day with a (mostly) standard routine.  I like predictability, I like consistency, and I like my patterns.  But what I like most is the foundation they set for the rest of the day.  By doing the things I do, I am setting myself up for success.  I'm not saying that I am guaranteeing success, I'm saying that I'm putting the probability of success in my favor.  Likewise, if I don't do the things I do, I am putting the probability of failure in my favor.

I've come to realize that if I don't put on my proverbial oxygen mask every day, the likelihood of my success in caring for those entrusted to me is poor at best.  And I think my husband and kids deserve me at my optimal performance level.  And just so you know, an optimal performance level is relative to the day.  If I wake up feeling horrid my abilities for that day will be compromised just as they would be influenced if I woke up feeling amazing.  And fyi, optimal performance level does not equal perfection.  The day I get it perfect is the day I expect Jesus to come and take me home.

In Exodus 16 after deliverance from the pursuing Egyptians, the people of God are now complaining about food and lack thereof.  It's easy to judge them because of the miracles they saw, but truthfully, we aren't really very different.  We have so much but complain about what we don't more frequently than we should.

Upon hearing their complaint the Lord speaks to Moses and says, "I will rain down bread from heaven for you.  The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day.  In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions."

Enough for that day.  Not too much, not too little, but enough for that day.

We live in a time where if what we have is good we think that more would be better.  But excess is excess no matter what we are talking about.  You wouldn't apply an entire bottle of hand lotion at once to immediately cure your dry, chapped hands just like you can't do 3 hours of exercise in one day to cover you for the week.  I can't do enough Bible study on Monday and think I'm covered through Saturday, I can't eat enough on Sunday that will cover me through Friday, and I can't drink enough coffee on Saturday to satisfy me through Wednesday.  You need enough for that day.  And 'that day' may not look like 'to day' and will probably be different from 'yester day'.

Our world tells us to plan for tomorrow, to be prepared for the future, and to build up storehouses of excess to make sure you always have enough.  But tomorrow might not come, the future is uncertain, and storehouses can be destroyed.  Don't misunderstand, I'm not advocating flying by the seat of our pants by any stretch. But maybe if we started to look to God to give us our daily bread and being grateful for that, we'd see how abundantly He has already blessed us with more than we could have asked or imagined.

Jesus, help us to rely on You to give us exactly what we need for today.  Whether it's food, a place to rest, or moments with our loved ones that fill us to overflowing joy.  Help us to be grateful for all we've been given today and to know that for all the tomorrows we have, You'll meet our needs there, too.  Amen.

What Do You See?

Exodus 14

Perspective is everything.  Is the glass half empty or half full?  Are we given just enough or are we barely scraping by?  The way you look at a situation is critical because it will determine your thoughts, attitudes, actions, and reactions.  Perspective is everything.

As the Israelites fled Egypt, God gave them a clear direction about where to camp.  Why?  So Pharoah would think they were confused and hemmed in by the desert.  God knew he could use Pharoah's self-serving attitude to bring Himself glory and free His people at the same time.

The Israelites, however, after all they'd witnessed with the plagues STILL did not have the proper persepective themselves.  Rather than trust God implicitly, they doubted His sovereignty and provision and assumed they were going to die.  They even go as far as to say they had it better in their captivity.

And captivity to anything is a strange thing.  We don't want it.  We want to escape it.  But when push comes to shove a lot of times we stay.  It's predictable.  It's what we know.  We tell ourselves we are managing it.  We lie and say that if we really wanted out, or the change, we'd just do it.  But we stay because of our fear of failure and suffering.

But what if we took a different approach.  What if we started to believe that God really was going before us everywhere He is leading us?  What if we trusted that pillar of cloud to lead us by night and day to our destination?  What if we trusted Him to defeat our enemies for us instead of exhausting ourselves in weary battle.  What if we kept our eyes focused on what He's done and what He said He'd do?  What if we trusted Him because we know there is no deceit in Him?  What if?

I am well aware that sometimes I focus so much on the fact that I followed Him to, and into, the sea that I feel like I'm drowning because I take my eyes off of Him.  I don't even realize He's pulled back the water to keep me on solid ground or that He is capable of keeping me on top of it.

As things come our way, maybe we can stop for just a moment, take a step back and try to see it from God's point of view.  In the process, we might just gain a perspective that changes what looks like an impending disaster into an exile of amazing freedom.

Jesus, give us the strength to see things, including ourselves, as you do.  Victorious in You, filled with Your Spirit to guide us, and radically loved.  Amen.

What God Does

Exodus 2

The things that God is capable of orchestrating in our lives is beyond what we could ever hope to do for ourselves....and yet we try.  We like control.  We like it a lot.

But when you trust God with your heart, you really have to believe that it is in the most capable hands ever.  Hands that created the world.  Hands that reached out on a cross.  Hands that will one day hold your face close and wipe away every tear from your eyes.

I don't know what you will go through today, what season you have just come out of that has left you exhausted, or what desert is around the corner that will try to rob you of your joy.  What I do know is that the promise at the end of this chapter is as true for you and me as it was for the Israelites during the time of Moses.

"God heard their groaning and he remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob.  So God looked on the Isreaelites and was concerned about them."

Don't miss the magnitude of this......God hears you, He remembers the promises He's made to you, and He is concerned about you.  Three things He does continuously.....hear you, remember you, show concern for you.

Cling to that when things are rough.  Hold tight to the fact that His love never fails.  Believe with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength that He will not abandon or forsake you.  And approach that throne of grace boldly to receive His grace and help in your time of need.  As His child it's yours.  You just need to ask for it.

Power Tripping

Exodus 1

Even when our circumstances are awful, God can still keep our lives purposeful and fruitful.

How often are we looking for greener grass?  We think things will improve when.....our kids are older, our job is better, our bank accounts are bigger, our house is more spacious.  But regardless of where you live, how you came to be there, or the situation you are in, any place you are is your God given promised land.  We need to stop seeking a specific place we think this is because a promised land is nothing more than a place where God keeps His promises.  And the last time I checked, that was not limited by anything.

The situation of the Israelites under Egyptian oppression can teach us a few rather valuable lessons:

1.  paranoia will never lead to anything good.....ever
2.  the quickest way to gain support is to incite fear
3.  when God is your joy and strength, even the worst scenarios are bearable
4.  God can use what others intended for harm ~ for good
5.  God can bless those who fear Him, even if they aren't committed to Him

Pharoah's attempt to maintain control and keep things tightly under his thumb was never going to work.  The Israelites prospered because they knew who their God was, the midwives feared God and weren't doing as they were told, and going up against God will always be a losing battle.  God's plans can't be thwarted or stopped by man's intervention.

As you go throughout your day and you see all the little things that stop, distract, derail, or alter your plans, hold tight to the promise that God is in control and He has something much better in mind.  Look at your situation and ask Him what He's trying to show you in it and then thank Him for intervening.  Believe me, I don't have this one down.  I get caught up in my to do lists that never turn into fully accomplished lists.  But I have learned that when I take a deep breath in and trust that God will help me get it done in His timing, my joy returns, my attitude improves, and my words are much kinder.  We all have a little power tripping pharoah in us.  Maybe it's time to let him drown in the Red Sea of God's grace for good.

Directions

Genesis 24

If you were going on a trip and weren't quite sure what the destination looked like, you'd likely seek out some google images, print a map, and try to figure out how you'll know when you've arrived.  We plan for a reason....we don't like the feeling of being lost or helpless.

When Abraham was sending his servant out to find a wife for Isaac, he made it clear where he was supposed to go and what he was looking for while he was there.  I would suppose if he had been around the family for any length of time he would have taken this assignment seriously knowing how God was a friend of Abraham's and that Isaac had an important role in God's plan.

The servant was probably also aware of his personal limitations.  And being aware, he prayed.  He prayed for success, he prayed for specifics, and he prayed for favor.  And God, as always, was listening.  He even began to answer the prayer before the servant was done praying.

I wonder how often God begins to answer our prayers the moment we start to say it, whether it's out loud, in our hearts, in a group, or entirely alone.  And if He does, are we paying enough attention to realize the answer He provided was on it's way before we finished with our requests.

Once he was certain that Rebecca was the chosen one, he recounted to her and her family all of the ways he knew, continuously praising God and giving Him the glory.

God's role in our personal efforts and success is a testimony that shines the light of His glory for all to see.   We need to remember that we are made in His image to reflect His image.  If others look at our accomplishments and the spotlight is on us and our achievements, we're missing something big:  a chance to acknowledge and take to heart that God is the God of heaven above and earth below and that there is no other.

The Lord Will Provide

Genesis 22

I'll be honest, this is one of the hardest passages for me to read.  Seeing God ask Abraham to do the unthinkable is way beyond my comprehension.   As a mother I question if I am doing the right things all the time.  I doubt my abilities, decisions, qualifications.  I wonder if I am doing 'permanent damage' that will cause them to tell stories that start with, "When I was younger, your grandmother....." as they recount some horrible childhood experience.  This may sound a bit dramatic but it's true.  I can't even begin to wonder what might have gone through Isaac's mind as his father was tying him up and subsequently letting him go.

But after all that Abraham had been through with God, he had a faith that knew he could trust God, even with the life of his only son.  In the midst of preparation Abraham believed that God would provide what was needed.  And true to form, God stepped in at just the right time but what must have felt like an eternity of waiting to Abraham.  And here's the kicker.....Abraham was not only willing to sacrifice his son as God had asked, but clearly he was willing to sacrifice his marriage as well.  I don't know Sarah personally, but I imagine that if things had turned out differently, there love just might not have been enough to overcome this type of act.

Well on the other side of this account, we are thankful that Abraham's obedience brought about a blessing to all of us because we are his descendants.  And we can see that sometimes climbing a mountainous obstacle with the weight of the circumstances across our shoulders is the way God chooses to show His provision and glory.  As Ann Voskamp says in The Broken Way...."it is a thing to call the place you live provision."

The broken self will of Abraham, the willingness to not bend the truth to his advantage, and the sacrifice of his determined spirit could be what God was really after.   God will always hold back what He wants to give us if we are holding on to anything but Him.  Maybe sometimes we need to let it go and put in on the altar ourselves.

Promises of God

Genesis 21

As much as it might seem like the opposite is true, God does not forget the promises He has made and He doesn't turn a blind eye to our distress.  The problem is we live in a fallen world that yearns for the instant gratification of cheap, fast, and yesterday and we expect God to fulfill what His plans are according to that broken mentality.  But the joy that comes from the unfolding of His plan is ultimately worth the sacrifice of the time it takes to get there.

God is always gracious to us and does what He promised He would do.  And many times He will bring laughter by the way He meets our greatest desires, particularly when it seems that all hope is lost and the likelihood of fulfillment has long surpassed its possibility.

Even in our most uncertain circumstance, God listens to, understands, and shows His mercy and compassion about what concerns us.  If He says He'll take care of it, we are to simply believe He will.....even if we don't see it or know the how, where, or when of it all.

Additionally, our tears are never wasted.  God is aware of each and every one that falls and uses them to draw near to us.  He shows us that even when things feel out of control to us, they are never out of His control and because of that we don't have to be afraid.  It's often at these times that He can reveal what was before us the entire time that we missed because we were focusing on the wrong things.

Sometimes God's provision will require us to be an active participant.  We can take comfort through our obedience because we know that God is with us no matter where we may find ourselves physically or situationally.  And perhaps these are the best times to call on the name of the Lord that showed up in our trouble to do something to remind us of His actions.

Our lives are not God's favorite spectator sport.  He is always on our side, by our side, and reaching out to us.

Belief

Genesis 15

God's promises are made and fulfilled.  Sometimes we see their fulfillment, sometimes we don't.  But one way or another, God always keeps His promises.

I don't know what I would do if I ever heard the audible voice of God.  However, for as well as I know myself I'd probably be incredibly scared or at the very least horribly nervous.  Let's just pretend for a moment that Abram felt the same way I assume I would.  God's words to him in that moment have a much greater impact on us.  He told him, "Do not be afraid, I am your shield, your very great reward."  He does afterall know our comings and goings and our words before they ever leave our lips, so I think it's safe to conclude He is pretty aware of our emotional state as well.

That said, the conversation that follows gives us the hope that we need to anchor ourselves in God's promises just as Abram did.

First, God will always bring us out of the land we are living in if it's not where we are supposed to be.  This could be a physical place (God brought Abram out of Ur of the Chaldeans) or it could be an emotional state, maybe one of distress or devastation where we are stuck in our thoughts.  The key, is to follow Him out just like Abram did.

Second, when the birds of prey start to circle around where God is working, we need to be aware of their presence and shoo them away......in Jesus' name with the Word of God.

Third, when God is up to something big, it is likely that we will feel a thick and dreadful darkness come over us.  What better way for our enemy to make us doubtful, fearful, insecure, and hesitant to follow through or believe.

Fourth, God is the one who inflicts the consequences upon those who treat us poorly, and from any awful situation, we come out with great possessions.  Like the Israelites we may come out with "gold and animals" or we may come out with things of much greater worth:  increased faith, hope, belief, joy, peace, knowledge, trust, etc.

We may not understand and know how God will work it all out, but in the end that doesn't really matter.  What matters most is BELIEVING that He will.

More Than You Think

Genesis 12

This morning I woke up with a song in my head.  That doesn't happen all the time the way that it used to, so when it does I try to remind myself that I need to pay attention to it, write down the song (because I will forget what it was but that should be expected during the 3 o'clock hour), and that there is something specific I am supposed to take from it or apply to my life.

Honest Disclosure:  These posts are coming from the previous days journal for my current Bible reading plan.  Trust me, this is better for everyone involved.  It gives me time to let it settle in, clear my thoughts, hear God, and an provides an outline to write from the next day.  Plus, if I tried to do it immediately after reading, it would take forever and be all about me.

The Song:  More Than You Think I Am by Danny Gokey
The Bible:  Genesis 12

God makes us promises that only He knows how they will be fulfilled, when they will be fulfilled, and where they will be fulfilled.  Our response to these promises should be to believe Him, receive them, honor Him, obey Him, and follow Him.

Action steps like this are logical but they aren't always easy to take.  Believing before evidence is given takes great faith and in the day to day it's often overwhelming to try to see God moving when you are flooded with images of world wide terror and devastation, local images of horrible acts, and tunnel vision of your own problems.   But when God speaks, like Abram we can build some kind of an altar to serve as our visual reminder that He is there, He is in control, and He will come through just like He always has.

As Abram and Sarai went to Egypt, Abram knew that his wife would be desired by others.  He leveraged that to work in his favor, right or wrong.  But God did allow the selfish desires of others to proceed only so far before consequences were experienced.  He is, afterall, always looking out for our best interest and plans for our future even through our insecurities.

In the future, Abram will face consequences from his choice but God's promises and grace will still ultimately prevail in the end.  Maybe it's time we realize and accept that He is significantly more than we think and that we can be still and trust His plan.

More Than You Think I Am by Danny Gokey