Saturday, September 30, 2017

Invisible

Years ago I was introduced to Beverly Doolittle's art. Her pictures are quite extraordinary. Below is scene with what I assume are mountain goats. I think there are 13.


While that picture might have obvious images, this one takes a bit more effort.


I won't even begin to guess what is in here beyond 2 horses and their riders.

Pictures like this remind us that there is always more than our eyes can see. Some parts might be obvious but others aren't. It doesn't make them less present or less important, just unnoticeable without significant effort.

Colossians 1:16-17 says: For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things and in him all things hold together.

To break it down~

He made it all
It's all about him 
All the things means all the things
He was before it
He holds it all together

But let's just focus for a moment on all the things. Why? Because it includes more than we realize. We see the word all but we think objects, things we can hold and use. But it goes beyond the tangible to include our situations, dreams, circumstances, and desires. It's not just the concrete (visible) things, it's the abstract (invisible) things, too. That's the part we miss and it's important.

Behind each visible thing in our lives is an invisible purpose. And while that purpose can have more facets than a diamond, there is one that is most prominent: our faith.

As the author of our faith, Jesus decides what each sentence, paragraph, and chapter will look like in our story. We need to stop resisting what he is writing and let him build and fortifiy our faith and then welcome the opportunities to share it. 

Problem is we resist it! Faith is typically not built when things are easy or perfect. Faith is built when we know we have no control over what is happening or what the outcome will be and somehow Jesus comes through with something we couldn't have planned or anticipated. Not only that, but it's always better than what we could have come up with or attempted on our own.

We all have things we wish were different. Jobs, health, marriages, childhoods, etc. It's tempting to wish away what God has and will use to display his faithfulness because we don't like suffering, we don't like hard, and we don't like the unknown. (Trust me, I'm living it.) But if all of that pulls us closer to his heart and allows us to feel his very real and deep love, then it seems worth it. So let's lament what we need to lament and then pray that God will help us see the faith that is being built. In doing that we'll be able to give a testimony that shines his goodness from glory to glory.


Friday, September 29, 2017

Cliffhanger



I have always been fascinated by this concept. It makes sense logically because the word became flesh and Jesus is still very much alive. But the reality that it divides soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart with NO effort on our part, is pretty mind-blowing. But it doesn't end there. 


When we also consider that for as many verses there are in the Bible that many people can read them and be told something completely unique by God is incomprehensible. Same words + different people = unique results for His purpose. But it's still doesn't end there!

At any given point in time, we can read the same thing the Lord has already used in our lives and get something completely new. And somehow, even knowing this, we question His abilities to do things! Startling if you ask me.

Why all the fuss? Yesterday. Common verse + current situation = NEW understanding.

On my way to pick up the man-child from XC (cross-country for those of you who aren't familiar with this handy little abbreviation) practice, I am listening to K-LOVE and Scott, the afternoon DJ, is reading the verse of the day. 


At this point I do something I've never done in the car: I turn off the radio so that I can audibly talk this out with myself. And I realized something frightening pretty quickly: I don't know how this works. 

As I was talking to myself (hopefully looking more like I'm singing to anyone in a nearby car) it occurred to me that even though I am no longer denying my emotions or consciously trying to just cover them with Scripture in an effort to pull up my bootstraps and move along, I have always used Scripture and what I know to be true about God to comfort myself. But this verse says that God comforts us, not that we have to comfort ourselves.

Unfortunately what this means is if you never realized this either and are now scratching your head, this is about to feel like a pilot series tv-show that ends on a cliffhanger and isn't picked up for a second season, (#Missing with Ashley Judd a few years ago and yes, I am still bitter about it) because I don't have any clue how to let God comfort me. I'm pretty sure it has a lot to do with the things I learned as I read The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp and the things I learned reading Abiding in Christ by Andrew Murray. Unfortunately it also means I didn't learn these things well enough that I don't have to go back through them, this time intentionality, to try and make heads or tails of this.

Thankfully I'm not so full of pride that I won't ask for your help! If you have thoughts on this, and are willing to share how God's comfort has manifested itself if your life, please either (a) leave a comment anonymously......if it's set up for a name, make one up.....use the name you always wish you had or (b) if you know me and are willing to share your thoughts personally, email me or send me a message on facebook. Maybe if we can figure this out, we'll be able to start fulfilling our calling to comfort others as we have been comforted.


Thursday, September 28, 2017

Keepin' It Real

Most days I'm okay. Mentally and emotionally that is. I make a concentrated effort on being positive, seeing the best in situations, and not letting the less than perfect bother me. A prime example of this came just over 2 years ago. My uncle suffered a heart attack, ended up unconscious for too long, was revived, but sadly had so much brain damage, he had to be let go. The journey started July 8th, it ended July 28th. Twenty long days. Day twenty was my 41st 29th birthday. The day after he passed I picked up a birthday cake for a friend that brought me flowers and asked me how I was doing. She said she was sorry that he passed on my birthday. I said it was fitting because my birthday parties as a kid were spent in his pool. Somehow that made it better.

Right now I am not however feeling postitive. My repeat labs were done on Monday. Not only did the number we need to go down go back up slightly, but I've had to increase the medicine I don't want to be on, I had to add back in the medicine I had done as a tapering dose to start with, and I still feel horrid. On top of which I am over the modified exercising, I have a hard time staying awake, my joints are getting achy, my muscles are getting weaker (hello, a full coffee pot is hard to pour right now), and I can't get a decent night's sleep to save my life.

Months ago I would have recited every verse I've memorized and given myself ever Christian platitude I know to remind myself of what is true: God is in control, He knows what He is doing, this is for my good and His glory, and He is my strength. Those things are all well and good, but it isn't enough right now. Right now I need to be really honest with exactly how I feel about my situation. I HATE IT.

My jaw hurts if I talk or smile too much. This makes conversations particularly hard and I like to talk. A lot. Because my brain feels like it's in a dense fog, remembering to do things without lists everywhere is almost impossible. (I forgot to get my daughter's lunch ready this morning. #MomFail) And seeing as how I'm exhausted, I'm lucky if I can get through 4 pages in a book without nodding and losing my place. Do you know how long it's taking me to read an entire book? I'm on two weeks for my current selection and it's really, really good but I'm really, really tired.

I'm not sharing any of this because I want someone to come to my rescue. I'm sharing because up until this point I would have continued faking it and acting like everything is fine. But that doesn't benefit anyone. It's a lot of what's wrong with our relationships in the first place. People can say really insensitive things if they don't understand what's going on but they can't know what's going on if we aren't honest about it.

Holley Gerth wrote in Fiercehearted, "It seemed the prevailing mantra in those days was, "Be a good witness for Jesus." A positive example must be a flawless one. Fake it until you make it. But in so many ways, this led only to striving or rebellion."

First, she's right.
Second, a flawless example for Christ has to be an honest one and if you are faking it until you make it, IT IS A LIE. And lies hurt us and those who believe them.

So here's the thing. I know this flare will end, one way or another. I know I probably have more hard days ahead than I want. But I also know that I will not pretend that it's easy or that I don't need to rely on God to give me strength which I am not likely to ask for because I know what I'm capable of when I'm healthy. But I suppose the best news in all of this is that Jesus himself said that he came to heal the sick. And while I'm always lumped in with that group because I'll never live a sinless day and sin is a sickness all its own, he also healed a lot of people that were physically sick. And for the time being, I am being counted among them.


Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Game of Life



I love word games. I am not particulary good at Scrabble. That's not true. I'm horrible at it. On the other hand Bananograms (a game where you are given tiles and essentially try to beat your opponent making a crossword puzzle) and Quiddler (pictured above), I can pretty much hold my own. My prefernce however is Quiddler.

In this game you start round one with three cards and make at least a 3 letter word. I say at least because some cards have two letters. The came continues through round eleven where you now have thirteen cards. Scoring is based on the numbers on the cards in your hand and bonuses are given for longest word and most words. I play this game a lot. For me the challenge is in making new and interesting words. However, no matter what word you may be thinking of making, you are at the mercy of what you are dealt, what you draw from the pile, and what your opponent discards. Regardless, it is truly very fun. (Just to try it out, what words would you make with these letters: GSOOVRDUESA)

Life is so much the same way. We don't have control of what we are going to be given. The only option we truly has is to make the best of what we hold in our hands. Sometimes we need to rearrange our options, let go of what's not adding value, add what we think will increase value, or just hold tight where we are waiting for the one thing we need to make everything else fall into place. To some degree strategy and skill come into play, but the majority of the time, we have to go on what we most know to be true.  

As I've been going through the story of the prodigal son and the historical aspects of the story, today I had to answer this question: What do you think the father might have thought as he looked down at his own tassles and headed back to his own beth ab? (To clarify: tassels are white the Jewish people attatched to their garment remind them of the commands they'd been given by God and the beth ab would be the "father's house.")

It's hard to imagine all of the thoughts that went through the father's mind when his son left, but the one thing I kept coming back to was this: He had to focus on what he knew to be true of God and the miracles he could perform.

Most of us aren't likely to find ourselves in a position where anyone asks us for the inheritance they will get upon our death before we die, but it is pretty safe to assume that at some point we will be dealt a card we don't want to hold. Whether it's a diagnosis, a death, a loss of some other sort, or a change we weren't seeking. Whatever the case may be, we will be faced with decisions we don't want to make and probably aren't prepared to. But in the midst of all of it, we have the option to hold on to the truth of what we know in our hearts and minds about God and the evidence of his work that we've seen in our lives or to cower in fear and uncertainty.

What I have found to be most true is that even when we are caught off guard, God has always had our best interest at heart. Whether it was a blessed subtraction before all hell broke loose or a need being met before it even arrived, he has never once failed any of us. He simply can't, it's not in his nature.

I don't know what battle you are currently facing or what cards you have in your hand that make you think that you are going to lose more than you can cover, but I can promise you that they can be rearranged to make better words that are full of promise and hope because God never deals a bad hand, only a hand that forces us to hold tighter to his.


When you rearrange the letters: Our God Saves

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Reality Check

"No level of spirituality or ministry exists where we 
are suddenly exempt from being human." 
Holley Gerth, Fiercehearted

There is not a lot of explanation needed for this enormous piece of wisdom. However, I would like to share a few thoughts regarding our expectations of ourselves and others.

1. We can not memorize enough Scripture, complete enough Bible studies, serve on enough teams, depart on enough mission trips, or pray a certain number of hours to remain sinless for the rest of our lives and we need to stop thinking we can.

2. No matter how perfect we think our favorite author, pastor, or Bible study teacher is, they are just as human as we are and are just as likely to fall short of God's holiness, as well as their own desired standard of holiness. Reminding them how they've disappointed us is not in any way edifying or encouraging and it likely means we've made them an idol.

3. If we have any expectation for anyone to be above reproach and to perform perfectly 100% of the time, we have placed a burden on their shoulders that God has not, and will not, ask them to carry. 

4. The gift of grace is not only meant to see us forgiven through the blood of Christ, but it is meant to get us from Point A to Point B in our lives with all the detours and side trips we will make because we are distracted, imperfect, and stubborn beyond belief.

5. The two best things we can do for ourselves and others are (a) be honest about where we are and what we are struggling with and (b) admit we need, and graciously accept, help.

The quote above is one of many treasures in Holley's new book releasing next Monday. The thoughts listed above are what swirled through my head after reading that one little sentence. If you are a woman, if you know a woman, if you love a woman, please order this book for yourself and for her. This book has brought me closer to tears than anything else has since my tears disappeared 6+ years ago. Thankfully I have a little farther to go before I finish it and I am thinking they might just fall by the last page.


Click the image to go to the Fierchearted website to learn more on how to order.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Legalism V. Obedience

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it
to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
1 Corinthians 9:25

This morning I read the she works His way devotional about this verse. The part that caught my attention the most was the substituion of competes in the games to whatever it is we are called to do. Write a book, run a business, etc. Changes things a bit doesn't it?

I remembered that at the Passion Conference this year Christine Caine talked about the distinction between obedience and legalism and how we avoid obedience by labeling it legalism. Guilty as charged. The difficult part for me has always been determining where one ends and the other begins. However, this verse and Michelle's anaology has helped to clarify it.

The idea of strict training is the notion of discipline and obedience. It's about practicing something until you get better at it. However, you can't get better at doing anything if you are consistently doing things that distract from what you are called to do. This is where I have always tended to get things muddied in what should be clear waters. If what I am doing is prohibiting or delaying victory or completion of a task, then abstaining from it is not legalism, it's obedience to doing what is most important. (FYI, this is why I eliminated the Tsum Tsum app from my woman child's Ipod. I could manage to play that game every hour on the hour when the hearts would reoccur. Don't even get me started about  bonus hearts and how long a session could last.)

The point is we all find ways to deter obedience because we have something else that is a preference. 

If our mission is to make much of God and make sure that he is known to those around us, I can pretty much say that it probably isn't going to come through a high score on any game. Is it possible for his glory to shine because people understood our addiction and we have been freed from it? Absolutely. But that's more likely to happen when we have the time to do what matters most and someone hears our story of how we surrendered what didn't matter for what did and managed to do what God called us to in the first place.

Each of us have unique calls on our lives to do something for the kingdom that makes an impact. But in order to do those things, we have to be willing to participate in the strict training that's necessary. The question we have to ask ourselves is what's keeping us from moving forward and then take it to God to ask for help to lay it down. But the promise we'll reap from discipline will not only get a crown that lasts forever, but our transformation will be evident to all who witness it. 


Sunday, September 24, 2017

Saturday, September 23, 2017

By Our Love

Years ago I was a Mary Kay Consultant. I know, hard to believe. And while I was not super successful, I came out of that experience with something incredibly valuable. Something that despite the fact that I would call my career an epic fail, I would describe that period of time as undeniable success.

There were women at the top of that business that were very different than me. There was something about them that was completely foreign to my understanding. They had this glow that was not coming from the The Miracle Set and I was desperate to figure out where it originated. Turns out it was Jesus.

I never met any of those women in person. But I heard them speak and I watched their actions. I knew deep down that the relationship they had with Jesus was very different than mine. And while I had no idea how to get it, I was determined to find out.

As Christians, our lives are meant to stand-out. There should be something about us that makes people wonder. It's how we are given the opportunities to share our faith, what God has done for us, and wants to do for them.

Isaiah 53:2 says, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him." That has always baffled me. I mean Jesus looked at people and invited them to Come and they got up and went. If there wasn't anything about him to entice them to do so, we have to wonder why they would do it.

While I don't have the absolute answer, my guess is that his encounters with others, that led to noticeable changes and differences, made them curious enough to respond to his call when the offer came. What did they know or what had they heard that motivated them enough to leave what they had always done? What would make a woman, known for her promiscuity, seek him out at a dinner party she wasn't invited to if it wasn't what someone else had experienced and shared with her?

Again, that is purely speculative on my part, but my experience is exactly the same. The women I saw had something I didn't understand. I never heard them talk about Jesus out-right until I started digging deeper into their stories and when I did, it was evident that was the key. And through that process I was sure I needed to figure out how they got what I didn't have.

When Jesus inivted those he did to follow him, he didn't give them a rule book to learn and a test to pass before allowing them to join. He taught along the way through practical experience. Sometimes I wonder if we are so hyper-focused on the eternal consequences for those who don't know Jesus because we understand the time is short that we forget that those we are trying to reach can't see past tomorrow? When any of us are in survival mode, we care more about the next page than the end of the story.

But if we were to share our stories more freely, what is going on, what we are struggling with, what we are doing to see us through, and how God is not only going ahead of us but meeting us every step of the way, I believe we would see people coming to Jesus out of a desire to know this man who continually changes our lives for the better than we would ever see them come because of a fear of hell.

Jesus tells us that others will know us by our love, and our love is never more evident than when we ask questions, share experiences, invest in relationships, and speak the truth. Let's let the truth that we talk about be the love that Jesus has shown us, the mercy and compassion he has given us, and the grace he has covered us with when we decided to commit our lives to him, and let his actions on our behalf speak louder than our words. And maybe his transformation of our lives will give us a glow that draws others straight to his heart.


Friday, September 22, 2017

Extra Credit

Review from yesterday:

Let's say you have two kids and you assign each one a task. The first one you ask to vacuum all the carpeted areas in the home and the second one you ask to clean all of the glass surfaces. Both do their job to the degree you would expect it to be done. When complete, you tell them both thank you and give them their promised ice cream.

This should be the end of the story. Except it's not. Because now you have two kids arguing over who did a better job. And they are both begging you, pleading with their eyes, to give them the highest commendation for their completed work. What do you do?

It's obvious to you that their argument in ridiculous. First, they both did exactly what they were told to do. Second, they both did it exactly the way you expected it to be done. So why do they need to compete? Is it just their human nature? Does each secretly have a desire to be favored? Are they really that competitive?

But let's add soemthing extra. The first one that did all the vacuuming added, ON THEIR OWN, dusting. No more writing names on top of the entertainment center or book shelves! The one who cleaned all of the glass surfaces added, ON THEIR OWN, scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom floors. You didn't ask either to do it, but both went above and beyond the call of duty of what was assigned.

It might be tempting as a parent to want to do more than you promised for the extra effort, especially if your offspring tackled a particular job you don't like. The problem is you are aware of the motive behind it.

The first child bombed a test they didn't study for. They are trying to make up for their lack of preparation to earn your grace because they didn't follow directions to study. The second child went to a friends house and played a video game they know very well is forbidden and they are reasonably sure you found out about it.

Again, these are two completely fictitious scenarios, but there is a point: We do the exact same thing with God.

We do not want to put on the yoke he's created for us because there is some aspect of it we are resisting and so we add sacrifice and offering to our to do list to make up for it. OR worse yet, we don't give God the time and space he needs to talk to us and so we continue on our merry way adding what we think makes up for the fact that we aren't seeking his plan before proceeding with ours.

I know this isn't pleasant to read but keep in mind that I'm reading it first as I write it. God has been pointing out this very problem in my life across the board. I make up my own set of instructions to achieve a result that I want to see realized because I don't like his plan. Instead I throw in my ideas for 'extra credit' to butter him up  trying to make up for the fact that I'm not following directions and miserably failing in places he's offering victory.......if I would just choose to do it his way.

My hope is that awareness will help us submit our hearts, minds, and actions more fully to God and his leading. We might not have a cloud pillar to lead us during the day, or a fire to light our way at night, but we have been given the gift of his spirit. Personally I am convinced that when we are miserable and frustrated it's because we are grieving that spirit with our lack of obedience. And again, the only reason I can write this is because it's a reflection of my life first and foremost.

The beautiful part is that God's grace covers us as we go through massive learning curves. We wouldn't love our kids more or less for adding the extras to what they've been asked to do, but we would hope they wouldn't feel a need to do them because they dropped the ball somewhere else. We just honestly want what's best for them. And the condemnation and shame they might heap on themselves trying to make up for it is not something we'd desire for their hearts, and it's not something God desires for ours.

Getting to a point where we just do or go because we've been called to do or go is not going to come easily. And honestly our flesh is always going to get in the way. But we can pray and seek God to decrease our turn around time to get back on track sooner, and we can beg him for the help we need to keep our stubborn hearts submitted to his ways. And throughout the process I bet that if we would listen attentively for his voice, each time we step in the right direction we'll hear him whisper, "Well done my good and faithful servant."



Thursday, September 21, 2017

The Difference

Let's say you have two kids and you assign each one a task. The first one you ask to vacuum all the carpeted areas in the home and the second one you ask to clean all of the glass surfaces. Both do their job to the degree you would expect them to be done. When complete you tell them both thank you and give them their promised reward of ice cream.

This should be the end of the story. Except it's not. Because now you have two kids arguing over who did a better job. And they are both begging you, pleading with their eyes, to give them the highest commendation for their completed work. What do you do?

It's obvious to you that their argument is ridiculous. First they both did exactly what they were told. Second they both did it exactly the way you expected it to be done. So why do they have a need to compete? Is it just their human nature? Does each secretly have a desire to be favored? Are they really that competitive?

Before I go any further, you have to know this is a completely made up scenario. I am way too much of a control freak to let my kids either vacuum or clean all the glass surfaces. Second, as much as this scenario is likely to play out in our kids, we're kidding ourselves if we don't think we do the exact same thing.

While we may not easily or willingly admit it, we all want to be God's favorite and do big things for him because of all the big things he's done for us. The problem is we are forgetting about the grace factor (the one where he did it because he wanted to not because he expected us to return the favor) and the fact that we are not all called to do things that are visible to the masses. Some of us have platforms, some of us are behind the scenes and one can not function without the other.

If the goal of our lives is to get to heaven and hear, "Well done my good and faithful servant," the only qualification to attaining God's praise is doing what we're told. And it doesn't matter if my job takes 5 minutes and your job takes 5 years, the point is doing what was asked at any given point in time. We have got to stop comparing apples and organges and wishing we had someone else's life or calling. We have been uniquely made to fulfill our purpose not someone else's.

I don't know where this yoke thing is going, but it's clearly not over yet. Tomorrow I'll be talking about the trap of "Extra Credit." But until then, reflect on what you've done so far today, why you've done it, and why God assigned it to you. And instead of lamenting what you wish you had been doing, thank God that he assigned you the things that he knew were not only suited for you but that would allow you to show his love and faithfulness to those impacted by your actions.


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Ready to Assemble

There is something both satisfying and horribly annoying about ready to assemble items. The ability to get it from store to home in a box and the satisfaction of accomplishment when it's put together are priceless. The colorful language and poor attitude directed towards a less than helpful set of hands or anyone who dares interrupt the process, not so much. Those two things have a huge cost.

Now Lego's on the other hand, have their own special category somewhere lodged between the spawn of Satan and divine intervention. If you unsuspectingly step on one, they are the spawn of Satan. If they unleash your child's creativity and keep them occupied for hours, divine intervention. If you are missing a piece or it breaks apart because it gets knocked over, spawn of Satan. If your child puts it all together alone and their face is beaming, divnie intervention. You get the point.

While Lego's should theorhetically be put together easily, the more complex the structures have become has impacted the assemly process significantly. Case in point: The Lego Dolphin Cruiser.


This box has 612 pieces. 612. And while I can't say I am certain about the label on the front, I am reasonably sure the choking hazard warning has a double meaning.

Does it come with a book? Of course1 With pictures that are about as beneficial as a hot fudge sundae without a spoon. 



You get the point.

And yes, each page is numbered. And yes, it is supposed to be self-explanatory. But it's never without drama or a piece that isn't missing but rather camoflauged on the carpet.

Now my dad, the brilliant man that he is, taught my man child to use bowls. If you tear apart the bags that come in the box and keep the bagged pieces together in a bowl, the process seems to move along at a much steadier pace. This is good. And if you take your time and follow each step carefully, you end up with a beautiful and intricate finished product. This is better. 

Now, you may or may not recall that a few days ago I wrote about the yoke that Jesus offers each of us is a design original. Yours is different than mine, different than my husband's, different than my kids. We might all be cut from the same cloth, but our gifts, talents, burdens, and callings are all very different. And Jesus is offering us our own yoke that I see as a customized lego box. Each piece is built into the finished product in its time, over time. And no part is extra and every part is important.

Now, do you remember the story about the wise and foolish builders in Luke 6? Let me refresh your memory.

"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practic is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete. 

I have personally become convinced that every day Jesus is trying to tell us something. Something we need to know, remember, and do something about. And if we were to become as intentional about listening for his voice and building our houses, yokes, and lives around his instructions, not only would we save ourselves a lot of heartache, but we'd stand out in ways that would attract others who do not know him.

A few years ago my woman child got that Dolphin Cruiser for Christmas. And for many months it sat completed, looking like a work of blood, sweat, and tears art. But now? It's mostly disassembled in a rubbermaid tote. Why? Because guests of hers took it out for a spin and it fell completely apart. If we aren't building our lives on Jesus, and if we aren't following his instructions about how we are to wear the yoke he's made for us, our lives are going to end up the playground of the world. And we will do nothing but strive to reach what we know we were made for but can't achieve because the pieces we've been given are either out of place or missing.

So how about this. Let's start choosing today to listen to the only voice that matters and always has our best interest at heart. And when we do, we'll be sure to see the masterpiece God created when he said, "Let there be you."




Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Aware

Radar: (1) a device or system consisting usually of a synchronized radio transmitter and receiver that emits radio waves and processes their reflections for display and is used especially for detecting and locating objects or surface features. (2) range of notice.

I would venture to guess that the majority of us don't like to be scared. I would also assume that most of us laugh hysterically, albeit sympathetically, when we watch videos of Ellen Degeneres either scare the living daylights out of a guest while interviewing them or when she sends her producer to a a haunted house. We might not enjoy it ourselves but we do think it's funny when it happens to someone else.

Now, the advantage to her guests or her producer is that they are suspecting that something is coming. Or at least by past precedent they should be. Their personal radars should be not only turned on but to the most senstive settings.

When Nehemiah went back to Jerusalem to start rebuilding the wall, he was, as you might recall, met with opposition. Not direct at first because his opponents didn't think he'd be met with any success. But when they saw he was making progress, this is what they said, "Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to their work." (emphasis mine)

We know from 1 Peter that our enemy is looking for someone to devour. My fear is that we don't have our personal radars on because we assume it's not going to be us. We think it will be someone who's more prominent, doing more work for God, or would make a louder thud when they fell. And while we have seen the way he attacks those with larger than life platforms in order to cause mass destruction in a short period of time, the truth is, if he can get to us and destroy our homes and our circles of influence, he can do considerably more damage than we think.

We can't go through our lives paranoid, but we can take steps to be more aware of what might be trying to creep up on us without our noticing. We can identify the negative thoughts and words from ourselves or others, we can learn to recognize the symptoms of exhaustion that lead to defeat, and we can proactively protect our minds with the truth of God's word in order to defuse any lies that come our way. We have to stop giving the enemy the advantage because we aren't paying close enough attention to what's happening around us.

Just before the enemies declared their intent on the wall builders, the people in Judah said, "The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble we cannot rebuild the wall." The Bible doesn't say that this comment was overheard, but it kind of makes me wonder.

If our mission is to make God known, then our enemies mission is to discredit him. And the enemy knows where to sneak up and attack because of the words he hears us say. God hears our prayers but Satan is intently listening to our doubts. And if we need to express our fears and shortcomings to get it off our chest, we need to immediately cover it with a blanket of truth before we just let the enemy cover it with the warmth of hell. Because he is all to willing to 'come to our rescue.'

Nehemiah has a lot to teach about perserverance in the face of adversity. We were never once promised that our lives would be nothing but sunshine and roses. But like the people who built that wall so that they would no longer live in disgrace, we can fortify our hearts and minds with the promises of God and keep the enemy at bay. It's an investment of time and intention, but the rewards of peace and joy will be so worth it.


Monday, September 18, 2017

Decisions

We tend to make a lot of decisions every day. What to eat, what to wear, what to fill our time with, which errands we'll run, what we can put off until tomorrow, which phone calls to make or answer, and so much more. It can be overwhelming at times and enough to make us want to scream.

But let's be honest. There is also a part of us that likes the control. And if someone else were to call the shots and we didn't like them, we'd probably get pretty irritated.

Ask any husband and wife combo about this when they are going out, just the two of them. Both will invaraibly say, "Wherever you want to go is fine with me," when what they really mean is, "As long as you pick what I wanted in the first place."

What's frightening is that our relationship with God is absolutely no different. He gave us free will because he wants us to choose what he knows is best. And we say we want to seek his will and do what he wants for our lives.....until it's not what we would have picked given the choice.

We aren't much different from the Israelites. They witnessed so much and begged Moses to talk to God on their behalf and just give them the basics of what was required but they still didn't follow through. We, like them, like rules and hate them. We want to know what we're supposed to do but we often don't do it. We are not only selfish in our desires, but we are lazy in seeking God. We'd rather be told and know than put in the effort to seek and find. Or maybe I'm just talking about myself.

But the more I've been thinking about this yoke that Jesus offers that is light and fits just right, the more I realize that he's offereing what I really want. Answers. Not all of them at once, but just enough for today and with enough information to make me productive for my immediate purpose. And I say immediate because everything we do now is training and equipping ground for what is coming later.

In her upcoming book Fiercehearted, Holley Gerth writes, "But the process of faith, I'm finding is not like my careful systems. Instead, it's learning to live in the mystery." I keep trying to figure it all out because then I think I'll get it right. But if the ancient Israelites, my ancestors and yours, are any indication, we can know, we can see, we can hear, and we can experience, and we still won't get it 100% right. But faith? Trusting that Jesus will give us what we need to get us to the next step without thinking about the next fifty after that and how they'll all work out? That seems like a pretty sweet deal. 

I often wish that I weren't in charge of so many decisions. Maybe you do, too. The biggest perk to not being in charge is that if all goes horribly wrong, we weren't the ones who decided a over b or right over left. And let's face it, it's not going to be easy to surrender like we are called to because our eyes, ears, and hearts keep performing CPR on what we think we want and bringing those fleshy desires right back to life. But my guess is that if we do it the way Jesus asks and start surrendering daily (or maybe every second for those of us who are super strong-willed), we'll not only have our loads lightened but we might find the abundant life he promised. And the best part of that? We'll be living out of our greatest purpose in making him known to others because we'll stand out and our light will shine for all to see.


Saturday, September 16, 2017

Reception

Sanctuary: a place of refuge and protection

One of the things I've always admired about Paul was his ability to take what the people knew and apply it to the things of God. And while I've always thought this was an incredible quality and gift, I wouldn't go as far as Bianca Olthoff to call him my Bible boyfriend. I like the strong, silent type that lead with incredible integrity and quiet strength like Boaz. If you know my husband, you know he fits this description perfectly.

Anyway, in a moment of divine inspiration and Paul like thinking, I want to share something that we will either love or hate. Or maybe love to hate. Or hate to love. And since I don't blog on Sunday's we can re-read this and think about it all day tomorrow. You're welcome.

The question in the Discovery Guide of Isreal's Mission on p. 81 is this:

What does it mean to you that if you are a follower of Jesus you literally are God's "sanctuary" or dwelling place on earth - that his awesome presence dwells in you?

Now, before I share this painful analogy, you need to know that this has hit me straight to the core. Like to the point of making me naueous because of how often I forgot and how frequently I fail. But the point is not shame or condemnation. The point is to make us all more aware and intentional about what we do and say to every human we come in contact with.

My answer:

As someone who is supposed to be a wi-fi hot spot, my signal needs some work.


Friday, September 15, 2017

Mnemonic Devices

There is nothing more frustrating than walking from one room to another and forgetting why you went there in the first place. We can blame it on age, kids, distractions, stress, anxiety, or any other common scapegoat, but the reality is we forget things. Easily.

It's even worse when it comes to the things of God.

We're late for an appointment and ready to pull out our hair but we forget how the last time we supernaturally had every green light possible and arrived five minutes early.

We get a call that our child is sick and needs to come home but forget that because we were home all day instead of running errands we had a long overdue phone call with a friend across the country.

We get held back at work because someone called off but forget about the time that the same situation kept us from the accident we were sure to have been caught up in.

I think the reason God tells us in his word so many times to remember is because he knows just how prone we are to forget.

A friend treats us poorly and we forget that we're a loved and accepted child of God.

Our kids blatantly disregard our instructions but we forget that God will hear our prayers and cries for help.

We memorize verses, read our Bibles, and go to small groups and forget the lessons we learned in less than an hour.

I realize that most of us are not going to start adding tassels to our clothes. And if we added as many as we would need to our handbags our shoulders and backs would start to ache. And since not all of us can run out and get a tattoo with the word remember, we must find something that can help keep us in check. Probably from having 'teacher brain' I'm going with mnemonic devices.

I can choose to:

Rearrange
Every
Memory (and)
Every
Moment
Before
Everlasting
Redemption

Or I can choose to:

Fail
Obviously (to)
Remember
God
Every
Time

Granted we won't do this perfectly, but if we become more aware of the times we are clearly forgetting, we can immediately switch back to remembering and that's what really matters.


Thursday, September 14, 2017

An Ounce of Prevention

On Monday of this week I had to go back to the lab to have my bloodwork drawn to see if the medications are working. Thankfully they are. Not nearly fast enough for my taste, but progress is progress and I will gladly take it. So, while my ds-DNA has not rebounded quite to the 'high' it started at, it was pretty close.....173 as opposed to 171 and still much better than the 191 from two weeks ago. I can't wait to see what happens on the 25th.

As I have been thinking about a lot about the yokes that Jesus offers each of us (the custom made ones that will fit us perfectly) it occurred to me that my diagnosis is part of mine. Before I was made God knew exactly what my strengths and struggles would be and exactly what it would take to train me in righteousness and holiness.

As you might have guessed if you've been around these parts for any length of time, I resist rest. Like abhor it. The not writing on Sunday's was difficult for me to get to because I insisted that my desperation for consistency superseded my need to take a break. But after almost a year of writing it was becoming abundantly clear that I really needed a brain break. Badly. And so I (finally) submitted.

But just like our persistent Biblical ancestors who needed to build a tower up to the heavens to make a name for themselves, I am guilty of searching for ways to do what I want regardless of any limitations. When I had a stress fracture in my right foot, I did horrid ab workouts. When I broke my right foot and was in a boot, I did things single leg. (My backside was pretty lopsided from that.) And when I sprained my ankle, I lived in denial for a week until it was the size of a softball. (Probably not one of my brighter ideas.) The point is, I ignore and work around things when I should proably heed the call to rest.

Enter lupus.

If you are too weak or too tired to do something, no matter how hard you try, you can't. It's quite literally impossible.

So the girl who hates to rest has entered a season of being forced to rest. Okay, not completely, but things just aren't what they were. Typically I can clean in about 2 hours if I'm really motivated. The last time it took me quite a bit longer and it had to be spread out over time because I needed breaks. And while I can still do my 'steps' there isn't a whole lot more than that happening. And by the grace of God and what must be some pretty massive prayer warriors, I am actually okay with it. And just because God likes to show us his grace in unexpected ways, my short course of prednisone took down a good bit of the soft tissue swelling that remained from the sprained ankle 3 years ago. He didn't have to allow that, but he did.

Now, I haven't really thought about myself being a conceited person, but when I read Paul's words that his thorn was given so he wouldn't become conceited (2 Corinthians 12:7), I have to wonder if there is a bit more conceit in me than I have been willing to admit. When most of us think about being conceited we think we about someone who thinks they are better than someone else. But in that instance, we are viewing the 'someone else' as a known person, as in somoene we interact with. But what if the conceit is based on the resistance of God's will because we think we know better than he does and we try to skirt his discipline and training for holiness and sanctification. Ouch....that stings a bit.

I'd be willing to bet we all have things we wish were different. It could be our hair, our job, our education, or our health. But what if the very thing we wish were different and continually try to change is the greatest gift God has ever given us to realize our absolute dependence on him to give us the abundant life he planned long before we drew breath?

I don't know that I will never lament what is a part of my story again, but I do want to try and embrace it more as God's faithful reminder that he's the one that's sustaining me through it all. Maybe with a slight shift in perspective of what we each face individually we can start to see God a little more clearly and shine our lights for him a bit more brightly.


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Playlist

"I"m sorry to say so
but sadly it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done."

Dr. Seuss, Oh The Places You'll Go

Two nights ago I told a friend that I hate living my life feeling like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. But the reality is, with a chronic illness that you absolutely have no control over, that's how a lot of your life feels. The mental battle is often significantly worse than the physical realities. Jaw pain, headaches, and waves of nausea for no reason are difficult enough but when you let it get to your thoughts, it's significantly worse.

Despite how I feel, I try to do as many things that are part of my norm as possible.....including working out. If you know me, this does not surprise you because you know that when I broke my foot, I worked out in a boot for 6 weeks. (The first week I really couldn't do anything.....after that I modified everything.) The activity, although I use that term loosely, is still good for me and believe me, there's no pushing limits right now. But what I can push is my mental capacity to deal with it all much better.

Enter "The Playlist."

Up until a few days ago I had been using my same list of songs. I like them and saw no reason at all to change things up. But then I heard this one song in particular on the radio (thank you Plumb) that just put me in a really good mood every time I heard it. So I figured maybe a little mood shift during my hated modified workouts would be good. And it has done me a world of good.

Dr. Seuss was right when he told us that unslumping ourselves is not easily done. We have to flood our minds with God's truth or what's threatening us is going to overtake us for way longer than it should. Not that we can get over everything in an instant but we don't need to let the enemy have a field day in our heads when he could be limited to one event.

So, as I shared once before, sometimes we need to give our enemy something to eat and drink. And when we stuff him with the truth of God's promises, he's not only going to get indegestion, he's probably not coming back for a second helping.

I don't know if my playlist is right for your current situation, but it's certainly helping me while I'm feeling completely out of control. Let the truth of the words in these songs rattle around until your heart catches up with your head and declares His praises in the middle of your storm.













Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Unique

If we went shopping and wanted to get new jeans (which ranks right up there with bathing suit shopping and undergarment shopping) we could try on the exact same styles of the exact same brands and they would fit us in completely different ways. Why? Because our bodies are not the same. We each have our own unique build and battle wounds from different seasons of our lives.

If we know this is true of our physical bodies, then we can logically assume that this is also true of our spiritual bodies. God did not pull out a set of cookie cutters and make us the same or even mostly the same as someone else. And if we know this to be true, why on earth do we try to force our bodies into someone else's mold, or worse yet, try to force someone else into ours?

One of the things I like about the people I know is that we are all passionate about different things. Our levels of conviction may be the same but they are directed towards different efforts. And it's not that we don't care about or aren't supportive of each other's interests, it's just that we uniquely express what God has put heaviest on our hearts because that's how we've been designed to impact the world for His name and glory.

I mention this because I seem to keep coming across Matthew 11:28-30 in different things I'm reading. Jesus says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I don't know about you, but I think the fastest track to weary and burdened has got to be trying to do something you weren't meant to do. Or worse yet, trying to not do something you were meant to do. Could we even come up with a more miserable existance?

But what if we were to take Jesus up on his offer? What if we actually went to him daily and let him give us what we need? What if we let him teach us exactly what we need to know to get just far enough until we need to go back for more? What if we actually let him direct our steps? And here's the best part. If we were to actually do this, as forgetful as we are, he promised us that through the gift of the Holy Spirit, we would be reminded of everything he's said to us. 

If we take just a moment to consider that Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves, and acknowledge that he is aware of exactly how we were created, then we must believe he's not going to give us a yoke that isn't suited for our shoulders or burdens. He knows what's best and where we will shine the most glory for God and have the biggest impact for eternity. If we would just commit to seeking him first, foremost, and repeatedly throughout our day, we just might find ourselves serving, loving, and leading in our sweet spots.

So I'm issuing a challenge for anyone who wants to take it. 

When I read The Broken Way I inked a cross on my wrist so that every time I saw it I would remember to live broken and given. What if we did something, even if it's wearing a bracelet we don't typically wear, as a reminder to not only seek Jesus first and foremost but to return to him consistently throughout the day for direction and to remind us of what he said? What if we did that for a week? Is it possible that come next Monday we might actually not be exhausted from trying to do everything? Could we not be tired from trying to meet everyone else's expectations instead of just his? Is a life without being weary and burdened possible if we just go to him and let him teach us what to do?

My plan is to start by answering three questions. (1) What did Jesus tell me today? The answer might come from anything.....my Bible, my devotional app, a book, a song, a person, a 'random thought' that led to an anology - metaphor - or symbol. (2) What do I need to remember? What is the most important thing that I've been told that applies to today? And (3) what do I need to do about it?

I don't know how this is going to go and I am absolutely certain I am not going to do this even close to perfectly. But I do know that if we commit to seeking him, he promises that he will be found. And if we let him in to what's going on instead of trying to do it all on our own, he promises to give us rest because he'll give us what's most important to do, not everything we see that needs to be done. And for the girl who likes to rush through one list just to be able to start another, a simpler, slower, more intentional pace sounds like a really good offer.


Monday, September 11, 2017

We Remember


"More than two hundred times in Scripture, God calls his people to "remember." In English usage, remember means "to mentally recall" or "to cognitively bring to mind." The Hebrew word zakar means more than recollection. It refers to mental activity that leads to a response; it is to recall and to act." Ray Vander Laan, Israel's Mission, p. 46

"As the hardest, most intense season of suffering becomes ever so slightly further and further from the present day, our lives slowly shift one degree at a time back toward self-sustainment and away from complete and utter dependence upon Jesus.......we remember because we need to remember." Julie Manning, My Heart, pp.156-157

The images are still burned in our minds. We know when it happened, where we were, what we were doing, who we were with. We know how we felt and we know why we were scared. We know the numbers we desperately dialed and the horror of watching it unfold before our very eyes. 

There are some things we desperately want to forget but those are the exact same things we must strive to remember. We can not allow time, distance, and separation to diminish our desperate need for a Savior because the world we live in is fallen. And the sad reality that it takes times of tragedy, intense fear, and the unknown to draw us closer to His arms is not met with anything other than a loving embrace that helps us to remember we are never alone, forsaken, or forgotten.

As we remember what happened 16 years ago today, let's also remember the desperation we felt to have Jesus as close as he could possibly be. And instead of waking up tomorrow forgetting, let's remember our desperation for his love and presence to be with us from this day forward.




Sunday, September 10, 2017

The Seventh Day


There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters
God's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.
Hebrews 4:9-10

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Observation

"The best way to know God is to observe Him in action rather than attempt
to define Him with doctrine." Ray Vander Laan, Introduction, Israel's Mission

When I read that statement it stopped me dead in my tracks and made me think of what it's like to read the accounts we have of God moving in the Bible. They aren't about defining Him through theological arguments or doctrinal beliefs, they're about observing the things He says and does and the reasons He gives for doing them. And perhaps, like me, today you need to be reminded that His written story helps us to remember that His love is loyal.

Loyal: characterized by or showing faithfulness to commitments,
vows, allegiance, obligations, etc. 


Friday, September 8, 2017

Wise Friends

Thank you. Thank you for being the friend that doesn't judge. Thank you for being the friend that doesn't think I should be smarter, more aware, or more intune with what's going on. Thank you for being the voice of reason, the voice that is both Biblical and objective, and the voice that can bring it all into proper perspective. While I won't say who this is, if you know me, you can probably guess. Because she really is just that smart and probably even smarter than we all give her credit for.

This morning started Bible study again. The catch 22 for me with the kids going back to school is that study starts again. I desperately want my kids home, but these women I spend Friday morning with are so astounding I can't imagine not being with them.

While the context of what we talked about today isn't relevant to the point I want to make, suffice it to say that within 5 minutes of me being home from study, I was faced with putting into action what we had just discussed. EXCEPT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT. No lie. We finished our discussion, I made a quick run to Target, and completely forgot everything we had just said. That is sad.

So, because I couldn't see the forest through the trees, I sent a message for a prayer request. Within 5 minutes my phone rang. And a discussion began where I got wise words, sound perspective, and the reminder of what we had just talked about. While she couldn't see it happen, I immediately hung my head straight down. I couldn't believe that I missed what was so clearly being asked of me. I mean if it had been a big oak tree, I'd have planted my face on the trunk of it while walking because I wouldn't have seen it. Oy.

This is why we need to never give up meeting together. We have to be accountable and we have to spur each other on to good works. We need people that remind us of the truth and what God asks us to do. Clearly we are not always the sharpest tools in the shed and will probably step on the rake to have it come up and knock us out.

So, if you are reading this and you were there this morning, pay attention. And then be thankful that my near miss was slam-dunked with an assist from whom I would consider an all-star player. And if you aren't connected with a group, I am begging you, get connected. You won't realize how much you need your sisters around you until they save you from making a huge mistake.


Thursday, September 7, 2017

Scaredy Cat

True story. Three nights ago my husband was at work. I walked into our bedroom to get ready to go to sleep. I turned on our light, walked toward the bed, turned around, and there.....above the door.....a centipede. I used an expletive.

At this point I do not have a lot of options. My kids are genetically part me and aren't going anywhere near this thing, either. My husband is at work for another hour at least. (Didn't stop me from calling to tell him about the situation.)

So now I'm in a staring contest. Plan A. I call for the man child to get me a shoe and a bottle of hairspray. Typically, I spray, wait for it to drop, and then beat it to death. However, my nemesis had outplayed me. Being above the door frame if he ran opposite in either direction of what I was expecting, he'd be behind the dresser or in the closet. No good.

Okay, Plan B. Send man child to neighbor to see if either of her teenage boys are less chicken than me to kill it. Sadly, they aren't home. But my neighbor, a savy and inventive woman, comes armed with a squeeze mop, broom, and step stool. She smashes it in the wall, it drops, runs in the hallway and meets its demise under her shoe. All is right with the world and we can all go to sleep after I offer her my sincerest and deepest thanks.

My fear of centipedes has never faded from childhood to adulthood. They are creepy and freaky and they move lightning fast. My vocabulary gets very colorful when I see one. What you need to understand is that I see it and then get scared. Seeing = fearing. This is logical. Not because it's got some super power to harm me but because it's visible and therefore a true threat.

If seeing = fearing when it comes to centipedes, then why on earth do I fear what I can't see? Worse yet, why do I let my imagination run wild with potential scenarios that create fear over what I've seen already happen in my mind that has never existed for even a moment in reality?

I am not about to plaster this post with every verse about not fearing because you probably already know at least as many as I do. But I think it is worth repeating that when we are fearing anything it's because we are (a) believing the enemy when he says that God isn't good, (b) believing the enemy when he says that God is not going to take care of us, and (c) believing the enemy when he says that he will help us with our own plans to overcome on our own. HE IS A BOLD-FACED LIAR. He's desperately wants us to take matters into our own hands because if he does and we fail, it makes his accusations against God seem all that more viable.

Overcoming what we've been fearing for far too long is not going to be easy. But maybe if we start with one very simple question.....can I ACTUALLY see it right now in front of me.........and then proceed from there, we'll start to gain some victory over where the enemy has kept us bound. Even if we stumble from time to time over our deepest insecurities, let's get used to telling ourselves in the flood or the fire You are with me and You won't let go.


Wednesday, September 6, 2017

The Plan

Julie Manning, author of My Heart, lives in heart failure. Her story, her perspective, her words are challenging me to the core. She has written things I have long felt but could never articulate until now. While our conditions are different, our realities are similar. We both live day to day not knowing. And while you can argue Ann Voskamp's wise words that we are all terminal whether we have a diagnosis or not, when you have one, facing your mortality is a bit more front and center.

I told a friend the other day that while my numbers are unstable I need to have blood work every two weeks, for three months, and then every month thereafter. Why? Because we need to make sure my kidneys and liver are functioning normally and that my CBC is not cray cray. What's most terrifying in this is that if the numbers come back unfavorable, I am at the mercy of the illness and my bodies ability to respond to the medication. This isn't like an ear infection or strep throat that typically responds to an antibiotic. There are truly no guarantees. And while I can do things to 'help' myself (keep my stress as low as possible, eat right, rest as much as I can, and exercise....even really modified workouts) you can't healthy lifestyle your way out of this.

That said, this is what I have come to understand are my greatest battles.

1. Being so afraid of losing my life that I forgo living my purpose.

2. Being so afraid of stopping for fear of not being able to restart that I avoid rest.

3. Being so used to waking up 'okay' that I take it for granted and end up with no intentionality at all.

I cycle through these three things constantly. I do what I think I need to do or desperately want to do but avoid doing what God is calling me to do. I get so complacent about things being okay that when they aren't I freak about what I should have done differently. And when I get a second wind or refreshed perspective I am like a tornado that just want stop and keeps picking up speed.

But as Julie talked about being dependent on God for everything and serving Him where she is in the way she can, I realized something about Jesus. He might not have had a chronic diagnosis, but He knew He was on borrowed time. Jesus wasn't the man with a plan, He was a man who sought the plan and followed through with it.

Our challenge in this life needs to be a move from future thinking to present reality with the end in mind. We have to stop being consumed by shoulds and instead be focused on declaring 'Here I am, send me.'

As a woman who hates to ask for help, as a mom who wants to do it all, as a wife who wants to give her husband everything, I have to either begin to trust God that the clothes will get washed and the food will get cooked or that someone else will make sure that those I love will know I loved them. Being there to hug, hold hands, and pray is signficantly more valuable than making sure my to do list is done. And the reality is that Jesus has promised that when we seekk the kingdom first and His ways first, everything else will be added. As far as I'm concerned that means one of two things. Either (a) He's going to help me get it done because He knows me well enough to know that it will make me crazy if it's not or (b) He's going to give me the grace to accept what I can not change or a new perspective on it. Either way, it's a win.

My hope and prayer for all of us is that we'll start to depend more and more on the one that woke us up today to write and read these words, and then ask Him to help us see the places in our lives that need some fine-tuning. Perhaps we can start by putting loving God with all we are and loving others as ourselves on our to-do lists and then writing our task list through that filter. My guess is that we'll not only increase our energy because we'll see more value in what we are doing, but we'll start to experience deep joy as we go about the doing.