Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Soup and Salad

When I started a Bible reading plan this year, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew from the outset what I would read on what days and that it wasn't going to cover the entire Bible cover to cover. But what I didn't anticipate was how rich going through Psalms and Proverbs would prove to be.

Throughout my Bible reading journey so far, I wouldn't say that I have avoided these two books, I just have not invested any time in them intentionally. I've always been more in tune with what I would consider the meat and potatoes of Scripture, and I suppose, right or wrong, I've looked at these two books more as the soup and salad.  I will say this, Psalms has definitely gotten me more in touch with my significantly repressed emotions and proverbs has opened my eyes to just how blonde I am.

Today's agenda included Psalm 106 which has the most unbelievable retelling of the Exodus. But more than that, it has some very human behavioral tendencies that made me want to faceplant in the living room and beg God to never let me be like the people He lead out of captivity. Unfortunately, I tend to take after the Israelites more than Paul, post-conversion.

Verses 7-12 recount how the Israelites gave no thought to the miracles they witnessed, that they did not remember the Lord's kindness, that they rebelled by the Red Sea, and that it wasn't until God had them cross on dry land and cover their adversaries with water that they believed His promises and sang His praises. 

I never want my belief or praises to be contingent on God's intervention. I want to sing of His goodness and faithfulness regardless of my circumstances. But the reality is I don't. I may not be doubting Him or questioning His motives when things are not all sunshine and roses, but I am also not lifting His name as I should be in the middle of a less than preferred situation. And to boot, just like them, I all too soon forget what He's done and find something else that I am not thrilled about.

To make matters worse, as we know they fashioned a calf from metal and exchanged their glorious God for an image of a bull, which eats grass (19-20) and forgot the God who saved them. (21)

Okay, not many of us are thinking about making an idol of an animal. But I know from personal experience that I have way more idols than I realized. I can look at God and see how He has revealed things to me about how best to care for my health and then turn around and put my faith in a nutrition plan, a watch that counts my steps and records burned calories, and a fitness expert that tells me how many of what types of exercises to do. And then I get frustrated when results don't come as quickly as I think they should because I did all the right things. This is a problem. And don't even get me started on how I've idolized my planner on keeping me organized instead of the strength of God working in my weaknesses.

Galatians 5:1 says, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Why did the Israelites do that, and why do we? We chain ourselves to things that don't matter, we sacrifice what is most important for it, and we deny the work Christ did on the cross. And all to end up in worse shape than we started! It kills me when I think of the roller coaster rides I have been on for years, the ones that I did manage step off but ended up with a ticket again and have been riding ever since.

But God......

Just like He did with the people who rebelled in the most horrific of ways, taking note of their distress upon hearing their cry, remembering His covenant, and relenting out of love (44,45), He does with us. Why? Because He is above all else slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness, even when we are faithless.

The one thing that this entire Psalm seemed to echo is this: God is not an ego-maniac that speaks just to hear Himself talk. Everything He says, declares, decrees, or commands is to keep us settled in the good and fruitful land of our inheritance. And our joy and delight will come when our passion aligns with His mission to serve and love others as He has loved us. The question is: are we willing to die to ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him.

Lord, this was not an easy thing to read because of the degree to which I see myself in the behavior of a rebellious people scares me to death. Help us all to sing Your praises regardless of our circumstances, don't let our belief be contingent on Your actions, never let us forget the things You have done, help us to stand in the gap for others to see You, remind us that Your directions always serve a purpose, and keep our minds focused on the truth that You have set us free and that we are never to bound ourselves again in a yoke of slavery. We love You and want to serve You alone. Amen.


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Always On Time

This past Sunday was cloudy, overcast, and consistently looking like it was going to rain. Despite the sky looking rather ominous, I packed up my kids and headed to the pool. It was the second day it was open and we were desperate to have just that little taste of what is to come once school officially ends.

While the kids were swimming, one of the guards was ridding the pool of all the debris that lands in the water when the wind blows. When in front of me, he told the guard seated in the chair making sure all were safe, that he was going to turn the music down so that he would hear the first rumble of thunder and know to clear the pool. That never happened. We were there for 4 hours.

While I was thrilled that our time lasted much longer than I had anticipated, I was incredibly naive in our preparations. I had taken sunblock but figured there wasn't a point to putting it on because clouds, impending storms, and overcast skies. As I'm sure you know, this did not work out in our favor, particularly mine as I sat on a chair in one position the entire time.

Even though I went to the restroom several times, never once when I checked my hair in the mirror did I see the evidence of what the sun was doing to my shoulders or chest. Not once when back in my chair did I notice the discoloration of my shins. Why? Because it was so gradual.

An hour before we left when the sun did come out, I got sunblock on all of us, but for me, it was far too late. The damage was done. And when we got home the first thing I did was email my husband telling him I would appreciate not being given a lecture. (FYI, I don't normally get lectures for anything. But I have systemic lupus and this was just stupid on my part so truthfully I deserved one.)

But what I've come to realize is this. Just like the sunburn didn't happen all at once for me to notice it, that's exactly what it's like when God puts us through the refining process. We know we are being subjected to something that has potential to change us, but when the results seem slow in coming, we don't realize anything is different until we are smacked in the face with just how big a change has actually occurred. Thankfully while God's process my be uncomfortable at times, it doesn't typically leave you itchy and wanting to remove the top layer of your skin on a scratching post. #WorseThanChickenPox

While there are many lessons from this experience that I will take away (namely ALWAYS apply sunblock), I think the most important one is the realization that I can trust God through the methods He uses to transform me. Because even if I can't see what's happening as it's happening, I can be certain that what He's doing is making a difference and it will leave me better off than how He found me.

Lord, I know I attempt to put you on my timeclock. I see the deadlines looming of things I want to have accomplished by a certain time and I just assume that is the pace at which You are working. Rarely, if ever, has that been the case. Thank you for being patient with my impatience and giving me such a tangible, albeit itchy, reminder of your process. I would much rather go at Your pace anyway because that is always the one that yields the best results. I love you. Amen.


Monday, May 29, 2017

Memorial Day

Thank you for preserving my freedom to worship God freely.

Thank you for preserving my freedom to own a Bible.

Thank you for preserving my freedom to listen to the Word of God preached openly.

Thank you for preserving my freedom to pray without ceasing.

Thank you for laying down your life so that I could live mine for Jesus.

Freedom is never free. There is always a cost and that cost is a life.


Sunday, May 28, 2017

The Dwelling Place

I'll be honest, I thought I was going to write much earlier so I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

Pslam 43:3 
Send me your light and your care, let them lead me; 
let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.

There's a song on the radio now by Tauren Wells called Hills and Valleys that talks about how whether we are in the best or worst place we can possibly imagine, God is still with us. And this is what I realized:

1. God helps us climb the mountain to reach the peak where everything underneath us shows His faithfulness in not letting us fall or tumble to the bottom.

2. When we get there, we will glow with His glory from being so obviously in His presence.

3. After we climb, we are supposed to go back down to lead others through and start the climb again.

I would imagine that like me, you are often simultaneously on both in a valley and on a mountain top. It's never all bad and it's never all good. But in both places, God is there, using the same power that raised Jesus from the grave to put life back into what you probably feel are dry bones and doing immeasurably more than anything you could have ever imagined. Because that's who He is and that's what He does. He sends His light and care to lead you directly into His presence. 

With the slower pace of summer finally in view, I pray that we will take the time to slow down and let God care for us with the peace that can only come from being in His presence. And when our spirits are renewed and our souls are refreshed, I pray that we will lead others directly to the mountain where He dwells so that they can know the God of the hills and valleys, too.



Saturday, May 27, 2017

Deep Thoughts Early in the Morning

One of the unique things about Scripture is the fact that it is a living, breathing entity. No two people can read the same Scriptures and have God reveal the exact same message. Why? Because we are uniquely created and our unique backgrounds and experiences color the way God intends to use His word in our lives. And after what I shared yesterday about His word truly being Jesus, it made reading this morning so much more interesting.

So, in light of my circumstances, I want to share what I wrote in my journal from Psalms 12, 42, 72, 102, and 132 plus Proverb 12. These are the things God used to encourage me in my relationship with Him. Knowing that our situations are different, I am praying that through the hope He's shown me about perseverance and confidence in Him, that He will use these things to build your faith as well.

Psalm 12:6 And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times.  Okay, true story. I looked up the word crucible to make sure I would understand this. In case you don't know, a crucible is a container which subjects things to very high temperatures or a situation or trial in which different elements interact, leading to something new. When you consider that He sits as the refiner, purifying us as silver, that we are continuously hard pressed but not destroyed, and made into a new creation, this verse just gets a little prettier. And everyone said Amen.

Psalm 42:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my savior and my God. The reality is, we are never in any place that is beyond God's control because we are in His hands and therefore never out of reach. Additionally, we never have to feel downcast or disturbed because our praises always rise to Him. The beauty of being able to pray at any time and know it's heard stems from the fact that we are never in a no service area and our calls are never dropped. Plus, there's no contract to renew, negotiate, or beg for unlimited data. We have full coverage, all the time, all over the place.

Psalm 72:18 Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds. Praise be to His glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with His glory. Now this verse is definitely being influenced by the fact that I am reading One Thousand Gifts, but....His marvelous deeds are all the perfect gifts He gives and we can be thankful for each and every one because they all come from Him and are personally given to us. In turn, we see everything in the earth filled with His glory. You can look at your gift and see God just like I can look at mine and see Him and our gifts will be completely different. I would see Him in the analogies He gives me, you might see Him in a flower that blooms in your front yard. He's in everything because He created it all: analogies, flowers, and my endless cup of coffee.

Psalm 102 (various snippets) The Lord looks down and sees us, He hears us, He responds to us, and He releases us from the things that keep us held bound. His release extends beyond the real chains like Paul experienced in prison to the self-imposed chains, the ones in our mind, and the ones that restrict our hearts and souls. He alone sets us free.

Psalm 132:3-5 I will not enter my house or go to my bed, I will allow no sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, till I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob. In keeping with the theme of the glory of God filling the earth, this one blew me out of the water. Galatians 6:9 tells us to not grow weary in doing good because at the proper time we will reap a harvest. Romans 8:18 reminds us that our present sufferings are nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in us. And Romans 8:28 encourages us with the understanding that all things work together for good. So what if we take every thing that we don't like, every part of our lives that feels like it is stuck in ick, mud, or mire and persevere through it until the glory of God dwells in the place that Satan meant for harm. #GameSetMatch

And the best part, after all of that, He put a bow on it with Proverbs 12:11 Those who work their land will have abundant food. Every last inch of the territory He has given us, our individual inheritances, is meant to be fruitul. But in order to have the harvest that multiplies, we have to work the land and share our bounty. And when we do that, we get to feed a whole lot of people with the hope of Christ and eternal life.

This is what it has been like for me forever. My mind works overtime and often makes very quick connections through Scripture. But before today, I never really saw it as Jesus sitting with me, almost asking me if I got what He was trying to get me to understand. I've always looked forward to my early mornings but this makes me want to go to sleep earlier so I can get up faster and start again sooner.

I don't know how anyone can survive without reading their Bible every day. Heaven knows if I even tried that now I'd be completely intolerable. I know that early mornings aren't for everyone and that not everyone might have as much time to spend as someone else, but I do pray that every time you sit with Jesus that He meets you exactly as He meets me: with open arms, full of gifts just for you, and a warm smile that lets you know just how happy He is to be with you.


Friday, May 26, 2017

A Hopeful Future

Please get past the first part of this post. You might be tempted to think it's going somewhere it isn't. This is a story about God's faithfulness to meet you exactly where you are and bringing about things in a way that He knows you will respond.

Late last spring I was doing an online Bible study with someone I followed on facebook. Shortly after the study began a conversation started through facebook messenger, and by the time all was said and done, I had become a Beachbody Coach. What I didn't know at the time was that God was going to use my 'yes' to start something in me that I could not have foreseen with a flashlight, a map, and explicit directions.

Because I had previously been in a direct sales position before, I knew that this time I wanted it to be different. And so I made a deal with  myself that I would be accountable to doing everything and starting it all with prayer. That one decision lead to reading the gospel of John and journaling every day in a notebook. Not long into this new practice of journaling, I got to the part where Jesus tells the pharisees that they search the Scriptures looking for Him but it is they that testify about Him. This startling announcement by Jesus to the religious leaders turned my world upside down. It was 51 days past the day I said yes.

What I didn't know until I read this was that I had been doing the same thing unknowingly. Just a few short months before this, in the middle of a complete meltdown at a doctor's appointment, I told my rheumatologist that I didn't understand why things were so difficult and why I couldn't handle my emotions or stress. I reminded her that I was in a Bible study with some incredible women, I told her that I read my Bible every morning, I did independent studying on my own. And at the end of my resume of godly Christian activities, I told her that I knew the truth but that somehow it wasn't enough. It didn't make sense that I couldn't deal with my stuff. She looked at me and asked me if she could pray for me. Of course I said yes.

That moment, combined with starting to coach and wanting to do it right, led to the major revelation that somehow I had managed to completely dissociate reading and memorizing Scripture from a relationship with Jesus. Mind you, I thought I had one, and to an extent, I did. But not one like I had seen in other people and I didn't understand why. They had something I clearly didn't and I had no clue how to get it.

What's so ironic is that my 'go to' activity, reading my Bible wasn't going to solve the problem. I had to do some serious searching for answers to figure out how this was possible.

Slowly but surely I started reading more and more books. Not about this subject specifically but just things that I knew I needed to read. Ann Voskamp, Kyle Idleman, Rebekah Rose Lyons, Judah Smith, Parker Palmer, and Craig Groeschel have been helping me discover some missing links and cracks in my foundation of faith.

As I am currently reading One Thousand Gifts, I have learned a few things in the past 24 hours that combined with my Bible reading plan have opened my eyes to what God has needed me to discover.

(1) Picking up a pen isn't painful and ink can be cheap medicine. (p. 49)
(2) When you don't have a name for something, you're haunted by shadows. It ages you. But when you can name something... (p.52)
(3) To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it, to know it as coming from God and to know its place and function within the cosmos created by God. To name a thing, in other words, is to bless God for it and in it. (p.53 a quote from Alexander Schememann from For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy)
(4) Pslam 130:5 I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word, I put my hope.

Ok......

If I had not said yes to being a coach (which by the way I no longer am), I don't know that this journey would have started. But God knew the intentions of my heart and used them to open my eyes to a problem.

God used what I then realized was a problem to be able to name it and then seek to solve it. Until that happened, I had no idea what was wrong.

Because I had a way to describe the problem, I was then able to look at it as a blessing because I knew that God wasn't going to leave me stuck.

Because of everything He has shown me since this all started, when I read Psalm 130 yesterday, several pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

When I first saw those words about putting hope in His word, I was immediately scared. That was my problem, so how on earth could it be my solution? I had invested so much time in knowledge that I didn't know how to realign my mind or my heart because I had done nothing but search Scriptures for information and miss Jesus in the process.

But in a way that only God can, He reminded me that this all began with John.....in the beginning, when there was the word, and the word became flesh and dwelt among us. And there it was, staring me in the face.

It's okay to put your hope in His word when you understand that the word 
became flesh; the words on the page are His breath, but the life God 
breathed into them came to die, rise, and give eternal life. 

That was my disconnect. I read the words as an instruction manual missing the fact that they were Jesus telling me Himself everything God had told Him. And just as a fun sidenote, He reminded me that the entire reason that the word can judge the thoughts and attitudes of the heart, is because the word is Jesus and He knew what people were thinking when they never said a word.

This revelation opened my eyes to see Scripture in a completely different way. When I read this morning it wasn't so much about learning what to do or how to live, but truly spending time with Jesus as He imparted His wisdom to me because of what He wants to do in and through me. He is so much more concerned about getting me to the point where I can say I truly believe Him, trust Him, and know Him than He is about me memorizing words in order or having a procedural list when things go wrong.

I don't know what it's going to be like from this day forward. But I do know that this is the first time I've felt truly hopeful about what's possible. And knowing that this has been part of the plan all along leads me to believe that we are headed someplace really, really good.


Thursday, May 25, 2017

Every Tear

I'm not sure when or why we all began to believe that needing help is a sign of weakness. Truthfully it isn't even logical because everyone needs help at some point. I'm also not sure when we decided we needed to pretend that everything is okay. I'd like to say we can blame that on social media, but most people I know, myself included, have been doing that way before facebook, instagram, and twitter came along. And I definitely don't know why we think it's okay to minimize someone else's pain, struggle, heartache, or difficulty in comparison to our circumstances or the world's.  That just isn't healthy in any way, shape, or form.

I remember hearing my grandmother say, "God helps those who help themselves." It sounds so Biblical but I can promise you it isn't in the Bible. In fact, quite the opposite is what's Biblical. God wants us to come to Him with our circumstances and ask for help. And to be honest, leaving Him out of the equation is pretty insulting to His ability and desire to care for us.

As I've been going through Psalms and Proverbs in my reading plan, it has become quite evident that it really is okay to lay it all out for God to handle. No, He doesn't want us to whine and complain about it, but He does want us to trust Him with our fears, worries, anxieties, stresses, and overwhelming circumstances. Many might argue that He already knows, but I think there is something freeing in saying it, acknowledging it, and admitting we need help.

This morning in Psalm 10 I read God's response to extreme distress. It kind of shocked me because it's so not what we do with each other. Most of us, again myself included, have a natural inclination to offer advice, suggestions, and solutions. And while God's Word does give us those things, His immediate response to our problems is different than I had anticipated.

Verse 14 tells us that God sees the trouble of the afflicted, considers their grief, and takes it in hand. Ok. He acknowledges it, thinks about it, and takes it. Sounds good to me. But verse 17 takes it even further. It tells us that He hears the desires of the afflicted, encourages the afflicted, and then listens to their cry. Enter all dropping jaws.

So, instead of listening to our cries and then giving us words of encouragement, He gives us words of encouragement and then listens to our cries.

Clearly this isn't the normal order of things. We tend to listen to each other and hold hands when a loved one is distraught and then we offer helpful reminders. But not God. He gives the helpful reminders first and then lets us cry it out.

For the girl who has been tearless for a really long time, this is incredibly good news. Why? Because it lets me know that even after He tells me that He's got it all under control, He knows my emotions are not going to follow that quickly, I'm still going to need to let it out, and that He isn't going to tell me there's no need for tears. And truthfully, that makes sense. Because we know from Revelation 21:4 that He will wipe every tear from their eye. Do you notice what that doesn't say? It doesn't say He'll tell you that you can stop crying, that there's no need to cry, or that you shouldn't be crying. He's going to wait until you get it all out and wipe each tear away as it drops. #Awesome

There have been so many times recently that I have been on the verge of tears. They still haven't come. Sometimes I get a little frightened to think of what might make them spill out. But right now, the most beautiful and comforting thought, is that God isn't going to ask me to stop until I'm ready to stop and He's going to listen to every last bit of it. My guess is with a reassuring smile that lets me know I finally made it back home from the desert I've been in all this time. #AreWeThereYet?

I don't know the last time you cried, or what will make you cry the next time you do, but I pray that you find comfort in knowing that God is willing to sit with you while each and every tear streams down to water all the seeds of encouragment He would have just given you. And then someday you'll see the sprouts of new life growing up and reap a harvest meant to be shared on His behalf. And that just might make you cry again.

Father, Your Word is breathing life back into me in exponential ways. I have no idea what You are up to, but I know it's good. I pray that any time we feel the tears coming we remember that You are there to hear each one fall and to remind us that not a single one will be wasted. Thank you for loving us in such a profound way that consistently shows the compassion You have for us. We love you. Amen.


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Time Keeps on Ticking

Every time I see or hear a claim about adding 10 years to your life, I laugh. Not audibly, but still. Why? Because God is the only one that knows exactly how long we will live and when our last breath will be taken. And I'm sorry, but no amount of kale, salmon, or avocados is going to change that. Truthfully, you could have a couple of drinks and smoke a pack a day and live to be a hundred if that was His plan. (I'm not advocating that, just making a point.)

What we do have some control over is how we spend our time. Certainly the Lord can disrupt our plans with His intervention. But, we also have a choice as to whether or not we are going to scroll pinterest for ideas we aren't going to follow through with anyway or read a book that will grow our faith, knowledge base, or work to improve a skill we already have.

Ephesians 5:15-16 says: "Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." I am slowly learning that my good intentions tend to remain intentions if I don't have a deliberate plan. I need to schedule the things I want to do so that I don't get quite so sidetracked by other activities. And why? Because my enemy is prowling around with shiny objects looking for a chance to devour me the moment I am not alert. (1 Peter 5:8) No, the shiny objects are not scirptural, that's just my reality.

Not everything I get distracted by is a bad thing. But if I feel like I am behind where I wanted to be because I didn't do what I needed to get done, guess who's irritable? Hand raised, way up high. Then guess who's snippy with everyone she really loves and ends up needing a time-out? Guilty.

This morning I read Proverb 9. When I got to verse 11 I had to chuckle a little because at first it caught me by surprise. It says: For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. Now, I know I can't add years to my life in the chronological sense, but what if I can add them in a metaphorical sense?

If I can use the time God has given me productively and for His purposes, wouldn't I essentially be adding years to my life? If I remain focused and not in a state of constant panic of trying to get done what I neglected in the first place, won't I always have more time for the extras? Isn't this exactly what I've been preaching to my kids their entire academic lives? Oh the painful irony of it all!

The truth is, we are told that to whom much is given, much is expected and that if we squander what we've been given, even that will be taken away. Time is no different. If we waste this non-renewable resource which is our most precious commodity, we will lose even more of it because we still have to get done what we ignored and then we'll miss out on so much more. But if we use our time and talent well, adding value to everything we do, won't it multiply and extend everything?

Oh my sweet friends, I am preaching to myself on this one! I can be the most disciplined one in the bunch one day and the one that can barely get anything done the next. But here's the beautiful thing: As long as we are still here, we can work to improve our habits, and thankfully we don't have to do that in our own strength. 

This isn't likely to be comfortable and we'll probably resist it heavily. But in the end, the one who is trained by discipline reaps a harvest of righteousness and peace. And thankfully if we let that happen, we'll have time to enjoy it as well.

Lord I pray that You would show us our life's end and the number of our days. Remind us how fleeting life is and that You have made us a mere handbreadth. The span of our years is as nothing before You. Teach us to be wise, to make the most of every opportunity, to always work as if we are working for You, and to live lives worthy of the calling we have received. We are sorry for the moments we have wasted and are thankful that You can redeem them all. We love You. It's in Jesus precious name we pray. Amen.


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Need to Know

A word of encouragement:

Regardless of how you 'feel' or what negative thoughts cross your mind, and despite anything anyone else might assume about your motives, God has started your journey by sowing the seeds of discontent you had in your heart in the fertile soil He had already prepared. 

You might not have had the greatest and purest beginning, but when you were ready to receive Him in this area, He intervened and set you on a path to wholeness, restoration, redemption, and hope. Every step of this journey, He has been making a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert. 

Your wilderness has always been the disrupted path from your head to your heart. And He is cleaning it up to make it clear, walkable, and void of obstacles. He is filling in your heart with streams that will bubble up to the wellspring of life and all that you do is going to flow from it.

You might see your personal limits, but you have a personal relationship with a limitless God. And He's not through with you yet.


Monday, May 22, 2017

S.O.S.

A friend of mine stopped over earlier to let me know that she was home. She'd been staying with her son for a while and then went out of state to visit her daughter. She'd been gone about a month and I was taking care of her mail and making sure everything was okay.

When she was talking she shared how difficult it had been to leave her son's home because he wanted her to stay. She's been a widow for just over a year, she's not exceptionally young (although by her spunk you'd never guess her age), and all of her kids are concerned by the confusion she often displays. Thankfully I am around to keep a watchful eye out but I'm also not always home so I am definitely limited on my ability to intercede if the situation should arise.

I offered her both words of encouragement and advice. I told her that I understood her desire to maintain her independence but that it is sometimes okay to let someone take care of you. And then I told her about the time I was basically refusing to slow down on anything I was doing until a broken foot completely took me out of the game. And since it was my right foot, not only could I not do laundry because of the stairs, I couldn't drive. For seven very long weeks.

After she left, I rememberd the words I'd read from Parker Palmer's book Let Your Life Speak: "The words we speak often contain the counsel we are trying to give ourselves." And with that thought fresh on my mind, I stopped.

I am notorious for not accepting help. Ask anyone who knows me. I will profess that I will get it done one way or another, even if I'm killing myself in the process. This is most annoying to my 13 year old man-child who wants to do more things himself. Granted, this may have to do with me living in denial that he is growing up, but still. He is so often willing to help and I am forever turning him down. The same is true for my husband, although I've started to let go with him more. I have always been of the mindset that I am home and it's my job to do these things. But he also knows the reality that some days are just harder for me and that sometimes I really do need help, although I would be the last person to admit it. 

What's so frightening about this is that 2 days ago I wrote about the fact that I white knuckle everything! Perhaps my shared prayer through Ephesians yesterday is making me more accountable to the fact that I don't want to grieve the Spirit in me and that I am doing just that by refusing to let God help me. Clearly it's obvious just how much Jesus this hot mess needs and why.

As soon as I knew that this was what I was to write about today, I immediately knew that the only way to end this post is with a Casting Crowns song. I pray that if you are like me at all and have a dire need to control everything, that slowly we'll both start to loosen our grips and realize that the only grip that matters is the one that's holding on to us.



Sunday, May 21, 2017

Covering all the Bases

A little while ago, inspired by what our worship pastor prayed before he preached, I started praying through the book of Ephesians before I would do my quiet time. I fell out of the habit because my prayers became more specific before I would read, but I'm going back to it because it covers every base possible. If you have never prayed Scripture, it is as simple as taking a verse and turning it into a plea, claiming it as a promise, or declaring it over a situation. 

That said, I am going to share my Ephesians based prayer with you to start your week. If you struggle with praying at all (and I think a lot of us do otherwise there wouldn't be so many books written about how to pray) please consider starting with this and using it every day this week. I think you might be surpised by the peace and power that starts overflowing in and through you.

Father, I ask that you would give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that I can know
you better. I pray that you would enlighten the eyes of my heart so that I can know the hope to 
which you have called me, the riches of your glorious inheritance in the saints, and your 
incomparably great power for me as a believer. You work in me the same power that  raised
Jesus from the grave.

Lord, you have saved me by grace through faith so that I have no room to boast. You have made
me your handiwork and prepared in advance the things You want me to do. Help me die to 
self and live for you.

I pray that out of your glorious riches you would strengthen me with power through Your 
Spirit so that Christ will dwell in my heart through faith. I pray that You would root and 
establish me in love to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep, is the love of Christ
and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge that I may be filled to the measure
of all the fullness of You.

Father, You are able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine. As a prisoner
for You, I pray that you would help me to live a life worthy of the calling I have received.
Teach me to be completely humble, gentle, patient, and bearing with others in love.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth but only what is helpful
for building others up according to their needs, that it would also benefit anyone listening.
Do not let me grieve the Spirit that You have sealed me with. Rid me of all bitterness,
rage, anger, brawling, slander, and every form of malice. Help me to be kind and compassionate
and to forgive others just as You have forgiven me.

Lord, You have taken me out of darkness to be a light for You. Do not let me have anything 
to do with fruitless deeds. Help me to be careful how I live, not as unwise, but as wise,
making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil.

Finally, make me strong in You and in Your mighty power. Put on me Your armor so that
I can take my stand against the devil's schemes. Remind me that I am not fighting against
flesh and blood but against the rulers, authorties, and powers of this dark world, and the 
spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Make me stand firm with the belt of truth
around my waist, the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with my feet ready and 
fitted with the gospel of peace. Place in my hand the shield of faith to extinguish all the
flaming arrows of the evil one. Put on my head the helmet of salvation to protect my 
mind from any negative thoughts and to knock sense into me when needed. Arm me with 
the sword of the Spirit, that can penetrate even joints and marrow and will judge
the thoughts and attitudes of my heart. Hear my prayers and requests on all occasions.
Remind me that you are always with me and give me the words I need to speak
the gospel boldly and fearlessly. It's in the precious, holy, and powerful name of Jesus I pray.
Amen.


Saturday, May 20, 2017

While I'm Waiting

Several weeks ago my son mentioned that he wanted to participate in 5K race through our school district. The registration deadline came and went, because after that first initial comment, he never brought it up again. But as he recently decided that he wants to run cross country this fall, he again mentioned the race last night and wanted to know if he could still do it. So, he and daddy registered this morning and ran.

Before they left, I asked my all too grown up man child what time he hoped to finish with. Since he's only been running in gym class and occasionally on the weekends, I wanted to see what expectations he had of himself. Since his goal was reasonable, I asked him for his ipod, showed him my walking playlist, and said, "If you start here and concentrate on finishing before the last song, you'll come in within your time." He nodded his thanks, I prayed over him, and off they went. (FYI - I prayed specifically that he'd come back undamaged as a lot of this is a trail run and he's got my genes, too. I broke my foot trick or treating.)

When he came home he said ran without music. Personally, I don't understand how anyone can do that. If I am doing something strenous or something that I don't really want to do, music just makes it more tolerable. It also gives you markers for time if you know you'll be done when a certain song is over.

As I've been praying through some circumstances that I really want to have changed, it made me wish I had a soundtrack for the trials I am enduring. It would be nice to know that by song five I am halfway through and on the backside of the experience. For me it would make running the race a little less daunting. Unfortunately because God's time frame doesn't operate by my watch or calendar, it would probably just have one song mixed with fast and slow tempos, heart pounding drums sporadically placed, softer sections with just flutes and violins, and something I can only imagine as being similar to the two notes played when Jaws is about to attack.

But through it all, there is one comfort I came back to this morning in Psalm 5:3,8

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.

But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.

Regardless of what I still see before me, I know He is hearing my voice. Every circumstance can be repeatedly laid at His feet, regardless of its size, and I am able to take my requests to Him as He allows me to come into His presence by His great love.

For as long as I can remember, I have tried to white-knuckle difficult circumstances. But that is exhausting. And pointless. And not smart. And so now my Bible and journal are being filled with the requests I need to lay at His feet daily because some of them just don't seem to be going away. And while I don't know when they will be answered in full, I have peace because I am relinquishing control to the only one that can handle them appropriately, effectively, and completely.....for my good and His glory.

Father, You know everything that's going on and You know Your purposes in them. Thank You for allowing me to come to You, every.single.day. with what remains heavy on my heart. I believe that You hear me, I know that You care, and I am confident that You are working on my behalf. I love you. Amen.


Friday, May 19, 2017

Numbered Steps

Many, many months ago, my husband insisted that I needed to get more steps in my day.  Enter FitBit. This was pretty eye-opening. First, I had no idea that I could work out the way I did and still be considered sedentary. Apparently you can't just get all your movement in the morning and say you lead an active lifestyle. Second, I had no clue what it would take to actually make sure I got 10,000 steps a day. Third, I am now OBSESSED with making sure I get my steps. #AddictiveTendencies And fourth, getting older wrecks your metabolism. And if it wasn't great in the first place, watch out.

Now mind you not everything that is counted as a step truly is a step. For example, if I do squats during my workout, the movement is counted as a step. Therefore, whatever my 'workout' is for the day, I figure out how many steps I got then and add that to 10,000 to reach my goal for the day. Why? Because (1) I'm a rule follower, (2) I'm obsessive, and (3) I'm not normal.

However, I also want every step I do take to count and I get super irritated if my wrist accessory is not keeping an accurate measure. Like this morning.

After I did my workout, I went out for my walk. My sidewalk takes me approximately 333 steps to make one complete loop. I walked for 13 laps and should have gotten 4,329 steps registered. But no, for some reason I only got 2,613. You can imagine my frustration when I saw this on my activity log. Granted, it registered my walk as an elliptical workout but it always does that and the steps have never been this far off. And so now I am still not at my 10,000 for the day and it's already 2:30 PM.

As I just paced my hallway to make sure I got my 250 for the hour, it occurred to me that when I take steps of faith, I want those counted as well. The problem is I want them counted more by the people seeing me doing them than God. Why? Because I like words of affirmation. I don't need them constantly, but when I think I've made a giant leap of progress, I pretty much expect a parade, ballooons, and ice cream for my effort. Unfortunately, if I get my praise here from others, my reward is fleeting and short lived. 

God knows all the things I am doing and the motives behind them. He alone examines my heart and mind. What's so weird about this dilemma of wanting human recognition is that when I trust God fully with what I am doing, He sends words of encouragement my way. Every.Single.Time. 

But here's the problem. When you are doing what God wants you to do, Satan steps up his game. It almost feels like your life now has a soundtrack and the only lyrics in the songs are did God really say? It's kind of annoying.

I don't ever want to be focused on icons, social media shares, or the comments of others because the only thing that truly matters is that I'm doing what I've been told to do and that God is using it the way He intends to use it. He's the only audience member I am aiming to please and He knows when I need encouraged the most. So, I'll just trust His judgment on when it's sent instead of anxiously waiting for it. And in the meantime if you hear me say shut up under my breath, know it's not directed at you, but at that annoying pitchfork holding liar.


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Sacred Ground

One of the things I am most thankful for these days is my membership at sheworksHisway.com. While this is primarily focused toward women in business, every class I have taken every month has had information that I can apply to my life in the business of being a daughter of God, a wife, a mom, a friend, a writer, and every other name you could give me.

That said, I just finished watching the class about facing your personal Goliaths. As the class progressed, Michelle Myers pointed out something I hadn't ever considered before today. Saul offered David his armor before going to face Goliath and David turned it down because it didn't fit. That, I knew. But then she transitioned to the fact that we are supposed to fight with God's weapons not the worlds and mentioned the armor of God in Ephesians 6. This is where things got interesting.

Whether or not you've ever done an armor of God craft, you probably know there are a few key pieces you are supposed to put on before going in to battle. These would be: the belt of truth buckled around your waist, the breastplate of truth, feet fitted with the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit. Each part has a specific purpose in how it is used and why. (On a side note, when I pray this in the morning over myself, I pray that the helmet of salvation would protect my mind from negative thoughts and words and knock sense in to me as needed.)

What I didn't notice until I reread Ephesains 6 is that we have to have our own armor because we put these things on so that when the day of evil comes we can stand OUR GROUND.

God has given us each a time and place and prepared specific work for us to do while we are here. We are called to stand our ground with the belt of truth He had tailor made for our designed purpose. The same is true for the shield of faith we pick up as we defend the faith He has given and grown in us. And it's not that we can't fight along side someone else, but we must stand our ground against the devil's schemes for His glory, our good, and the good of others.

I don't know that I would have ever seen that if she hadn't pointed out the connection. It's given me a new perspective on the armor I am praying over myself every day to see it from a more specific application rather than a general purpose. I pray that you would consider exactly what your ground is to defend so that you can stand against Satan and his tactics. It's time to take back all that the enemy has stolen from us and to be truly strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Satisfaction

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt

Social media makes it super easy for us to compare ourselves to others. Of course we know that we are comparing highlight reels and not the unedited reality tapes, but that doesn't tend to stop us. We are great at eyeing up what someone else is doing, buying, or achieving, and we want it for ourselves.

But there is a solution to this madness. We will have to catch ourselves before we spiral out of control for the times we miss, but the answer is so obvious I'm afraid we're missing it. 


When we take our eyes off of God who has given us everything through Jesus, including the breath in our lungs, we end up wanting things that don't really matter. Our God meets every single need we have. Probably not in the way we might envision, but He does. And when we wish for, long for, or whine for someone else's possessions, accolades, or position, we are essentially saying that what God has given us is not enough.

But letting God fill us with His word, wisdom, wonder, and love is the fastest way to feel satisfied across the board. Why? Because when He is enough, everything else is gravy.

There are a lot of things I desired in the past. But with time I have come to realize not a single one of them was going to make me happier or more joyful than my relationship with Jesus. Yes, it might be nice to have some of those luxuries, but if they rob me of seeing God at work, they just aren't worth it. Because the truth is, there will never be a profit in gaining the world but losing my soul.

Lord, I can't imagine starting my day without declaring Your love or ending it without recognizing Your faithfulness. You have never left any of my needs unmet and Your creative ways in meeting them always leave me in awe. Thank your for reminding me that Your plans for me are good and that I have no reason to compare my life with someone else. I love you.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Divine Prosperity

Psalm 1:1-3

Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
and who meditates on His law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither ~
whatever they do prospers.

I can't say that I meditate on God's Word day and night. Yes, I do think about it a lot, and yes, I certainly delight in it, but I can't say that it's a 24/7/365 experience. And when I read this psalm this morning, it intrigued me because of the thought of everything prospering. I couldn't quite wrap my head around that thought and knew I needed to spend some time on what this promises if I was to make heads or tails of it.

As I read over this multiple times, there seemed to be a cause and effect relationship of some sort between delighting, meditating, and having what you do prosper. And it seems to me that while this could certainly be misapplied, there is a connection here, even if not quite the direct cause and effect we expect when we put a quarter in a gumball machine.

What I am seeing is this: the more we delight in God's Word and the more we meditate on it, the logical result is going to be having a more intense desire to do His will. Clearly, if we are doing what He's asked us to do, the results are up to Him and will be realized, even if they aren't what we would have anticipated. But I think there is another layer of beauty and depth here that took me a bit longer to see.

Isaiah 55:10-11 reads as follows:

As the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return to it
without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 
so is My word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

It's so easy to see things as prosperous when they go well, but if God's Word is guaranteed to not return void, and it causes us to do what He intended us to do, that has nothing to do with favorable results, that has to do with obedience. 

Consider this for a moment. Prosperity by definition is a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition. Typically, we would see that manifested from a worldly perspective to mean financial gain. However, if I had to choose between prosperity from the world's point of view and prospertity from God's point of view, I'll take the thriving condition which makes me more prosperous in my relationship with Him over money anytime.

What's so incredibly wonderful about this is that God is setting us up for the prosperity. He is giving us His word, He is telling us what to do with it, and He is providing the thriving relationship that results. And the prosperous results of what we put our hands to can be things that totally flopped from our point of view but were a catalyst for great change that we won't know about this side of heaven. What we did will have mattered, His word still did not return void, our obedience will still bring about blessings, and God will have orchestrated the entire thing! That is mind-blowing.

Just when I think I am in enough awe of who God is and what He's capable of doing, He throws something like this at me and removes Himself with immeasurable force from the box I put Him in, again. Maybe it's time I realize that He will always be so much more capable of anything I will ever ask for or imagine.

Lord, there just aren't words to describe You, Your grace, Your wisdom, and Your willingness to reveal that You spare no good thing from us. Every good and perfect gift comes from You and it seems that You deliver a lot of them directly from Your word that results in an infusion of belief in how incredible You are. I pray that You would make the things we do prosperous and help us to realize that the things that might look like massive failures to others are achieving the purposes You intended. Help us to focus on Your defintion of prosperity, not the world's. We love you. Amen.


Monday, May 15, 2017

Restoration Hardware

"This is the redeeming power of God through Jesus Christ. When we finally come to 
the end ourselves and give God the broken pieces, He can make us whole."
Kyle Idleman, The End of Me

If you have kids and they come to you with a broken toy, when it's possible, you fix it. The most amount of time they need to wait for it is the time it takes the glue to dry, assuming it wasn't something that just popped out and needs popped back in to place. And once it's fixed, the tears dry and they go back to what they were doing. But when they grow up and see the reality that not everything can be fixed, that's hard to accept.

So many of us make mistakes we desperately want to take back or get a do-over. We say things we can't unsay, see things we can't unsee, or do things we can't undo. We want to fix them, but it's just not possible. However, because of Jesus, everything we can't fix, can be redeemed. Granted it most likely isn't going back to its original state of being, but if Jesus has His hands on it, it's still going to turn out beautiful. Where it gets difficult is the time it takes.

Unlike when a grown up fixes a broken toy, when Jesus is making us whole again, it takes a longer time. We can see and feel evidence of the restoration process, but we want it done so much faster than He is working. And why? Because it feels good. We may not like that it's needed, and it might even be a little uncomfortabe at times, but seeing and feeling things working again, makes it worthwhile. And that little glimmer of hope makes us want it sooner rather than later.

But I think that's the beauty of the process. It makes us want it more and more because it gives us back the hope we've probably misplaced or misapplied to a quick fix that didn't hold up over time. We see how far we've come and suddenly we are determined to make it beyond the goal we set to see just how much farther we can go. And through it all we end up more sold out for Jesus than we thought was possible.

As I've been going through this over the last several months, I heard a sermon over the weekend that gave me just the encouragement I needed to realize I am headed somewhere, and it's somewhere good. I can't label it, I can't define it, and I certainly don't know where it is. What I do know is that God has gone before me, He's bringing me up from behind, and He's there waiting for me to arrive. And the best part is, He's doing the same thing for you. He loves us all entirely too much to leave us where we are. 

I pray that I have finally given Him all the broken pieces so that the restoration process is uninhibited. I pray that He would reveal anything I am still holding on to that would halt forward progress. And I pray for you: if you haven't started on the road back home, I pray that you would put one foot out there and take that first step. Because when we finally come to the end of ourselves and give God the broken pieces, He can make us whole.

Jesus, every day when You are with me on my walk and I hear Natalie Grant sing of you restoring me piece by piece, I think of all the progress You have made. I praise You for not only being willing and for never giving up on me, but for being so gentle and patient while I gathered up the pieces I was finally ready to hand over. I know that what You've started You will see through to completion in Your perfect timing. And in the end, I will proclaim among the nations all You have done. Amen.


Sunday, May 14, 2017

Ask, not do

This is going to be a very disjointed post because I can not figure out how to write this other than directly from the notes I took today reading John 20. In light of that knowledge, I pray that this blesses and challenges you as much as it has me.

The Exchange:

v.14: At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize it was Jesus.

v.15: He asked her, "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"

The Question:

How many times do I turn and not realize Jesus is standing right in front of me?

The Realization: 

If God is using us to be the hands and feet of Jesus, when we meet someone in their deep need, joy, fear, sadness, anger, etc. we are just like Jesus when He asks, "Why are you crying?" The opposite is also true when they are there for us. This is not limited to believers alone because God can use anyone! We are ALL made in His image.

The Unexpected Revelation:

Jesus used questions as His most effective tool. When we consider 'what would Jesus do?' we must first discern 'what would Jesus ask?' He wants us to think because it forces us to examine the thoughts and attitudes of our heart!

Examples:

What do you seek?  (John 1:38)
Woman, what does your concern have to do with  me? (John 2:4)
Are you the teacher of Israel and do not know these things? (John 3:10)
Do you want to be made well? (John 5:6)
Are you angry with Me because I made a man completely well on the Sabbath? (John 7:23)

Jesus asks questions because He knows we believe in our hearts but confess with our mouths. If faith comes by hearing, we must talk about what we believe and encourage others to do that as well. The best way to get someone to talk about it? Ask a question.

I don't know if this means anything to you, but it is shaking me up quite a bit. I want to be His hands and feet to others and I need to see others as His hands and feet to me. I want to quit turning around not realizing He's the one standing right in front of me. I want to be still long enough to hear His questions and then answer them. Join me?


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Precious Gems

Close your eyes for a minute and imagine yourself walking down a hallway towards a room where you begin to overhear other people talking about you. What words and phrases would you most want to hear them using to describe you? I can only assume you would want to catch people saying good things about you because why would you want to hear bad? But are their words really good?

In John 12:42-43 it says: Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in Him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved human praise more than praise from God.

Ouch. That stings a bit and bruises the toes.

If you think for a moment about the words you thought you would want to hear others saying about you, are they the same words you would want to hear God using to describe you? I'm sure some of them are, but are they all? And for the ones that aren't, why did they make your list?

We get so many mixed messages into our lives about what success is, what a good person does, how we should prioritize our time, and how many activities we should be involved in. The lists go on and on about the world's standard of accomplishment that says we measure up. But I have yet to see a wordly list that matches God's list.

This morning I wrote out a comparison of human praise versus God's praise.

Human praise is: based on preference, fleeting, inconsistent, variable from person to person, not maintainable, and costly. I say costly, because your soul is worth a lot and that's exactly the price you'll pay to gain the world.

God's praise is: based on truth, consistent, unchanging, attainable, maintainable, and rewarding. I say rewarding, because the fruits of the Spirit are the most valuable gifts we can possibly be given. If you doubt that, think about the last time you couldn't get a sense of peace about something.

It seems to be that God's list is the much better option to pursue. And if we are to get any human praise, it should be for the same reasons God would be praising us. Reasons like having a heart like His, loving others well, reflecting His image to all we encounter.

I will be the first to admit I have sought human praise on many occasions. And there are certain areas I still struggle with it. But if I take a step back and look at why I want it, not a single reason is worth what I am doing to myself to get it. I would much rather have God look at me and use His words of affirmation than have the admiration of fickle hearts with fleeting praise of changing standards. And the best way to hear His words is to simply get alone with Him and let His voice be the loudest, clearest, and most frequent. Afterall, His voice is the only one we should be listening to anyway.

Lord, forgive us for the times we have pursued the praise of others more than we have pursued Your praise. Keep our eyes focused on what you say and help us to become the women You intended from the beginning. We would rather You describe us as worth more than rubies using your scale than have the world praise us. We love you. Amen.


Friday, May 12, 2017

The Unexpected

John 9:1-3 As He went along, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked Him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

John 11:4 When He heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."

John 11:40 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?"


When I write out my memory verse for the week, I typically don't see an immediate connection to something in my life. Personally I think God is planting seeds for a time to come when I will need those particular words of wisdom more than He is preparing my heart and mind for something that is about to happen. This week that hasn't quite been the case.

The first part of Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God." I'd be willing to be that we've all seen that, heard that, and memorized it. It's not a lot of words and it's a pretty good 'go to' when things are feeling completely out of control. 

Like yesterday when we had some unexpected news. It's nothing truly awful but definitely not a good thing. It was certainly not welcomed information although it could have been significantly worse if God hadn't moved on our behalf several months ago.

But as I read about the death of Lazarus this morning, reflected on the story of the blind man, and thought of the many other accounts of miracles, it occurred to me that if I am going to be still and know that God is God, that goes way beyond a cerebral understanding of His position to a deep underlying belief that His character, attributes, and actions must also be considered in knowing Him.

The reality is, if I believe that He is who He says, then I have to know that our situation is not too far gone for His provision. If He can part the Red Sea, bring down the walls of Jericho, cause plagues, shut the mouth of a lion, keep 3 grown men safe and unharmed in a fire, hold back rain for three years, cause oil to keep flowing, flood the entire earth, have a man swallowed and later expelled by a whale, and give me a heart of flesh in exchange for my heart of stone, then clearly, what we are looking at, is a drop in the bucket.

And here's the most beautiful part of it all: EVEN IF He doesn't fix it, even if it doesn't work out the way we hope, and even if it makes things just a little bit more complicated, He is still God, He is still good, and all our hope is still in Him. Why? Because at the end of the day, He gives, He takes away, He plans, He provides, and He is. And truthfully in the grand scheme of things, I would rather have things the way He wants them than manipulating things to the way I want them because His past faithfulness proves His way is always better.

Lord, as much as this has caught us off guard, You are well prepared in either giving us a solution, providing a miracle, or filling us with Your sufficient grace to adjust. Whatever You have planned is what we want. Of course we want you to provide the miracle, but even if You don't, as long as You get the glory in whatever outcome passes, we will praise you and remain still, knowing You are God. Amen.


Thursday, May 11, 2017

Endless Buffet

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never 
go hungry, and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty."

For as many times as I have read those words, I never quite grasped exactly what He was offering.

When Jesus broke the bread and the fish to give to the crowd to eat, it says they were given as much as they wanted. Not limited portions, not a measured cup, but whatever they wanted. And when they were done eating, when they decided they'd had enough, the remains were gathered up so that nothing would be wasted.

So here's the thing: When we have our sweet time with Jesus every day, He is offering us an unlimited supply of Himself. He knows ahead of time exactly what we'll be facing and He does not intend for us to go hungry. However, if we cut our time short because we are focused on moving on to the next thing on our list, what He intended to give us, is saved for another time. He's not taking it back; He's putting it in reserve.

So the question then becomes, how do we know when we've gotten enough?

We live in a world that is currently preaching mimimalist theories with a diet mentality so that our excess isn't spilling out over the tops of our pants or on anyone that comes within range. But when it comes to Jesus, is it possible to get too much? And if you did end up with an overflowing cup, isn't that a benefit to the world?

Surely we can't live in a gated community doing nothing but reading our Bible and constantly in the position of a holy huddle. But I also think we need to take a look at exactly where we are investing our time because with the amount of anxiety, stress, worry, and fear I see around me, and in me, clearly there are a lot of us taking what amounts to an appetizer of Jesus instead of an outright meal. If He's offering Himself in unlimited supply, I know I need as much as I can get. #LittleBitOfCoffee #WholeLotOfJesus

The good thing is that Jesus isn't going anywhere, His offer of endless food won't expire, and nothing He wants to give us is going to go bad. But my hope is that we'll take more time to slowly eat what He is giving instead of downing it as fast as we can. Maybe then we'll be able to recognize when we are full and can avoid the sugar crash that leaves us hungrier than we started.

Jesus, I didn't write this for anyone but myself! You know the areas in which You are working in my life and the things I go through systematically way more than I go through them intentionally. I do more checking off than anything these days. I pray that for anyone else that feels this way, that You would slow us down to not only digest what You are giving us, but to help us to understand what it feels like to be fully satisfied in You. We love You. Amen.


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

A Servant's Heart

Philippians 2:3-8 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others. In your relationships with one another,  have the same mindset as Jesus: who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to His own advantage; rather, He made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in the appearance of a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross!

Every time I am reminded that Jesus came to serve not to be served, I feel unworthy to call myself a Christ follower because I don't do that nearly as much as I should. What I mean is, a lot of times the things I do to serve are more self-serving than anything else. As a wife and mother, many times I am guilty of doing things for others that will make my life easier and less stressful because it streamlines activities during certain parts of the day. While I should be encouraging responsibility and partcipation, I am focusing on my mental health by keeping things in the proper flow. Why? So once those things are out of the way, I can get back to my own personal agenda.

But that's not what Jesus did. He served first, regardless of what was going on, regardless of what He knew He needed in the moment. Why? Because above all else, He absolutely trusted God to meet Him in His needs.

In Matthew 14, John the Baptist is beheaded and Jesus finds out. Clearly upset, He got in a boat to retreat to a solitary place, but the crowds would not leave Him alone. And so, considering others above Himself, He healed their sick, when He needed healing. He fed them physical food, when He was desperate for bread from heaven. And when all was said and done, He dismissed His disciples to go on ahead of Him, said good-bye to the crowds, and retreated alone to pray.

His example leaves so much room for improvement in my life. While I am generally not a fearful person, I am fearful in one regard: that if I don't get my quiet time first, before anything else in the day comes, I won't have it before I go to bed. Because as the crowd following Jesus illustrates, something always comes up.

But here's the reality. If I am walking with Jesus throughout my entire day, including Him in everything I do, and consciously listening for His voice above all others, the need to control my designated uninterrupted time becomes less necessary. If I could quit compartmentalizing Him only to my mornings or when something happens, my guess is that I'd end up with way more of Him by the end of the day than I do now. And that's not to say I can't find moments of rest and intentional reconnection later, it just means I don't have to be quite so Type A that I act like God won't meet me where I am to make sure I have what I need.

I imagine that Jesus was completely devastated when He heard the news of His cousin. And I am fairly certain that more than anything He just wanted to be alone. But I also believe God knew that Jesus needed to be reminded of the life John lived, announcing His arrival, and that by serving those that wouldn't leave Him alone, He was honoring John's work. And despite likely being completely physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted by the day's end, He still had the energy to get alone with His Father to pray. And God not only met Him on that mountainside, I think He gave Jesus more time than He would have had if His first attempt to retreat had been a success.

Jesus, the example You set on living a life of service is one I can only hope to emulate. You gave of Yourself when You had been robbed of much, in the midst of a devastating blow. I pray that You would strengthen us to see the opportunities You have prepared in advacne for us to serve others and to see a connection between what we think we need and how in our service You are providing it. We love you. It's in Your most precious and holy name we pray. Amen.


Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Clean

In the morning before my husband goes to work and the kids are off to school, we pray together. We started doing this maybe a little over a month ago. This time to just be together before the Lord has become so sweet and necessary for me. Even the mornings when I am highly agitated and don't really feel like it.

Because my husband had to leave exceptionally early this morning, we had to pray as soon as I was done with my workout. Needless to say, I didn't smell like a bouquet of fresh flowers, although I did look like I had just been watered.

Typically we all hold hands and just sit together on our living room floor. I chose to sit on my step stool and told each kid on either side of me they didn't have to hold my hand because even I was aware of just how disgusting I was. One of them reached out anyway to hold my hand. Immediately I responded with, "Ew, don't touch me! I am sweaty and gross." And the response I got: "I don't care."

For a while now, I've been working on some of the things from my past. Some of the baggage I've been carrying has been unpacked and put away properly but some of it is still lingering in other locations just waiting to be dealt with. My quick response to one of my babies this morning makes me wonder how much of it I am holding back from Jesus because it's too gross and I don't want Him to touch it, as if it had any chance of making Him dirty.

For all the accounts I've read where Jesus healed someone with some horrid affliction, or sat with someone who'd been involved in unsavory activities, I have never once read where they made Him unclean. And why? Because there was nothing about them, as there is nothing about us, that has the power or authority to do that. No matter how unclean we are at any given moment, He will still smell like a breath of fresh air after He's held us tight to remind us that we are forgiven, loved, and redeemed.

I don't know what you are holding on to that you haven't fully given to Jesus. But know that no matter how it makes you feel, or what you think it makes you look like, in His eyes you are already clean. His blood has covered you, He has clothed you with His righteousness, and you are now, as you have always been, precious in His sight.

Jesus, remind us that nothing we have done can taint who You are. Help us to lean in to You, to allow You to touch our brokenness and heal it, and to believe that we will never be anything but lovely in Your eyes. It's in Your precious and holy name we pray. Amen.


Monday, May 8, 2017

Reminder

Because something tells me that no matter what I could even attempt to write at this very moment, the most profound thing I am able to share with you is this truth. For as desperate as I am for this reminder today, I pray that it blesses you in whatever you are currently facing.


Sunday, May 7, 2017

Born Identity

Apparently when you register to run The Pittsburgh Marathon, the name that goes on your race bib is what you choose and does not need to be your actual name. I didn't know this until yesterday when we went to the Expo to pick up my husband's packet. I saw some that were funny, some inpsirational, some with a dedication, and of course a lot with just a name.

I told my husband that I thought he should do something fun next year, and by fun, I mean Biblical. I was thinking something along the lines of run the race or for this purpose or with endurance. Granted I don't know how many characters you can use but I obviously I had a few ideas swirling around pretty quickly.

While I am not training to run any race of any distance, it makes me wonder what I would want on my own personal bib. I think of so many names by which I have defined myself and I wouldn't want any of them on display. Names of things in the past that have been long gone. Names that define beliefs I held about myself but no longer do. Names that describe periods of time when my decision making skills weren't godly and my liesure activities left much to be desired.

But now? It would be difficult to choose from all the options that I would be humbled to submit. Things like Child of God, Worthy, Redeemed, Enough, and To Die For. And more importantly, why names like those are even an option.

Hillsong United has a song titled What a Beautiful Name. This song describes the name of Jesus as beautiful, wonderful, and powerful. It will only ever be because of His Name and what it signifies that my name was changed to what is probably the most meaningful one to me: Chosen.

In this world, it's easy to get caught of in the labels we use to define ourselves and it's not long before they become our identity. But that was never meant to happen because the world has no right to label any of us. Why? Because we are only in it, not of it.

I don't know what name you would want inscribed on the race bib that has been divinely assigned to you, but we are all ultimately in a race and meant to run as if we intend to win the prize. We must shed the weight of things that will hinder us and never give up. And when things get tough and we aren't sure if we'll be able to continue, we just need take a deep breath in and remember the Name above all Names. The name that is beautiful, wonderful, and powerful. Jesus.

Lord, help us to define ourselves as you see us. Anytime we are asked to give, write, or sign our name, remind us that You have names for us also. Names that You have declared over us because of the blood of Jesus and all that His name means. We love you. Amen.