Saturday, March 31, 2018

Weekly Recap ~ March 26 thru March 30



Monday, March 26, 2018

Uneven trades aren't in our favor. It's time to stop making them.



Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Jesus > thirty pieces of silver.



Wednesday, March 28, 2018

When the student is ready, the teacher is already there.



Thursday, March 29, 2018

Gift receiving etiquette from Jesus.


Friday, March 30, 2018

Once for all.





Friday, March 30, 2018

Good Friday



It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three, because the sun's light had failed. The curtain of the sanctuary was split down the middle. And Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I entrust my spirit." Saying this, he breathed his last. 
(Luke 23:44-46 CSB)

Thursday, March 29, 2018

The Scent of Peace

While Jesus was in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper, a woman approached 
Him with an alabastar jar of very expensive perfume. She poured it on His head
 as He was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw it, they were indignant. 
"Why this waste?" they asked. "This might have been sold for a great deal and 
given to the poor." Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering 
this woman? She has done a noble thing for me." (Matthew 26:6-10 CSB)

I have written about the practice of Adoration that Sara Hagerty talks about on her website. She creates a calendar with a verse or verses and then a description about why it's a reason to adore God. Around lunchtime, I write out the daily verse(s) and journal something. This practice that I adopted in January has helped me refocus my attention back to Jesus and my heavenly Father at just about the time I ready to lose my mind based on any number of circumstances or unwelcomed suprises that have emerged between my quiet time and noon.

Now, I will not lie. Yesterday when I saw that the verses were Matthew 26:6-11 (although I only quoted up to 10 above), I was not thrilled. It seemed like a lot to write. I actually contemplated only writing a few of the verses, but I'm a rule follower by nature, so I wrote them all.

Let me just say this, if you have not ever written out Scripture as a practice, try it. I can't explain what happens when you see it in your own handwriting, as if you are writing it to yourself, for yourself, as a way of promoting deep soul healing, but it is quite an incredible thing. I have always loved Hebrews 4:12 that teaches us the Word is alive, but in doing this, you get a real-time experience of it. 

As I wrote out this familiar passage, I kept thinking about all the times I have heard this preached and taught. And I am a big believer that God knows us so intimately well, He'll take our circumstances,  the way He created us, and the 'quirks' in our personalities, to speak something new in what might first appear old. And so I wrote.

Now, if you know me, you know extravagance is not my bag. I might love the beautiful purses I see other people carry, but I would be entirely too freaked out to own one, knowing I'd be obsessed about it getting scratched up. Plus I have a hard time wearing new clothes simply because I am afraid I will get something on them. I generally save them for special occasions in which food is likely not a threat. (i.e. wearing something cute when I go out with my husband, but knowing we'll be home to eat and I can change first....not kidding, this is what it's like in my head)

But here's the thing, the perfume this woman poured on Jesus is flat out described as expensive. It was by all accounts an extravagant gift. And do you know what He did? He accepted it AND He allowed it to be used on Him. He didn't refuse the gift and He didn't set it aside for another time knowing it's great value. And He knew exactly what it cost her. Not just monetarily either. He knew what she gave up, the sacrifices she made in order to obtain it, and however she managed to get that money to be able to purchase it, He still accepted it. And why did she do this? Becuase in her mind, and in her heart, Jesus was worth it. Every.last.cent. 

And here's what I couldn't help but wonder: if I have such a hard time accepting gifts from others (although I have improved tremendously), how much more difficult is it for me to accept and truly use the gifts of Jesus' blood and God's grace in my life? And I'm not talking about doing what I want just because I can. Oh no. I mean actually living like the daughter He created me to be instead of the one that is still striving to be declared worth it based on my contributions because the gift is so extravagant I am afraid to use it for fear it will all disappear and there won't be more.

Ya know, several years ago about two months after my grandfather died, my mom bought me a gift with money she had received that she knew I would NEVER buy for myself. As you might have guessed, it was a bottle of pefume. Bond No. 9, The Scent of Peace. It took about 2 years to go through it because I could not bring myself to use it every day. I had to make it last as long as I could by not wasting it on the average, everyday life, of a kindergarten and preschool mom. 

And let me just say, that same mentality follows me in my relationship with Jesus. He willingly had dinner with His friends, knowing what was coming, so that we could be forgiven, and I live half the time like it is a limited gift instead of a limitless one. How is it that He who became poor and gave up heaven could accept the extravagance of one woman and I struggle to accept the extravagant gift of The One?

And here's the thing. Not only did He humbly accept her gift of poured out expensive perfume, He knew that shortly He'd be smelling that sweet, expensive perfume while He was washing other people's feet. He didn't want to save it for the right occasion, He knew the time was then and there.

As we go throughout the next couple days, let's keep our attention firmly fixed on Jesus, come what may. Whether we are feeling stuck in the mundaneness of everyday life or are confronted with things of extraordinary proportion. And maybe, just maybe, we can allow the scent of His peace to come out of the bottle we keep it in, and extravgantly let Him pour it all over us. It's a gift He not only wants to give, but He wants us to use. It might have cost Him His life, but He decided we were worth it.


Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Thirty Pieces, Part 3

Yesterday I had to pick up a prescription for our daughter. Her perscription has been the same for quite some time and has remained effective until recently. What changed? Her activity level. I asked the pharmacist if my assumption that her body was now metabolizing it faster was true and if that was the root cause of it not seeming to be as effective. She looked at me, smiled her pretty smile, and said yes.

Armed with this new knowledge, we have to consider making an adjustment based on her upcoming decisions. If she decides to continue at her current pace, especially through summer break and the fall, we need to change things. If she does not, we just need to adjust next spring. Either way, right now, we have a plan.

But here's the thing. If I had not asked, and had just tried to overcompensate for the symptoms, the problem would have continued and nothing I tried would have worked. How do I know? Nothing I would have attempted would have treated the root cause. And without knowing the root cause, you can not find the proper solution.

And I wonder how many of us do that on a regular basis. We see something isn't working, we know it's clearly not productive, but we resist change and instead try to find every possible solution that requires the least amount of adjustment hoping it ends up having a maximum impact?

Isaiah 55:1-2 (CSB) says Come, everyone who is thirsty, come to the water; and you without silver, come, buy, and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without silver and without cost! Why do you spend your silver on what is not food, and your wages on what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and you will enjoy the choicest of foods.

Whatever we use to fix a problem instead of going to God to find the root cause and let Him give us what will truly satisfy, is worth exactly thirty pieces of silver.

In case you didn't know, the book of Judges has this repeating phrase: The Israelites did again what was evil in the LORD's sight.  And what is the clarification of what is evil? Worshipping other gods and abandonig Him. Or as Paul so eloquently puts it exchanged the truth of God for a lie. (Romans 1:25) And that's what we try to do. We use our silver to buy things that we think will solve, alleviate, or improve the situation instead of finding our satisfaction in God alone despite our circumstances.

Slowly but surely I am learning that Jesus is better. He's better than the exercise programs I've bought because the closer I grow to Him, the more I want to honor Him with my choices, which oh, by the way, means I eat better. He's better than the planner I bought (which I dearly love and helps me tremendously to stay on track, because lupus fog is real and so is the struggle) because the closer I get to Him, the more I want to honor Him with the time He's giving me to do what matters most, including down time to rest my brain.

But that realization wasn't my reality six months ago. Six months ago I would have tried harder, pushed more, and mentally beat myself up for not getting it all done.

And here's the best part. What God wants to give us doesn't require silver. It does however require surrender. It means saying that my vain attempts to pretty things up aren't working and I have been trying to replace you with something that is worth a lot less.

Until we take our final breaths, I don't think we will get this right all the time. We will fall into rabbit holes we didn't intend to or even see coming. But once we're there and recognize it, we can start stacking our silver pieces and get a little lift to see the light of day and ask for help to get out. Because no matter how far we've fallen, the invitation to Come always stands. We just need to accept it and let Him teach us.


Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Thirty Pieces, Part 2

Yesterday I posed some pretty tough questions about the reality each of us faces. While our circumstances might vary, the underlying elements are pretty similar. If you want to skim it, that post is here: Thirty Pieces, Part 1

But what does this look like, particularly if we think that this isn't an issue. What might it look like to trade Jesus for thirty pieces of silver?

In her upcoming book, Leeana Tankersley puts forth this thought, One of the most genuinely inconvenient truths I know is that something often has to die in order for something new to live. And so when we know - deep down - that something isn't working, there's also a part of us that knows what it's going to take to make the thing work again. Likely, it's going to take a death. Those possible deaths we don't want to face, those ways of being that we're so invested in that we are gripping them with every bit of energy we can muster........But who in their right mind wants to look death in the eyes? Or, at least, the possibility of death. It's hard to think about letting something fall apart, only to have to put it back together again. (Begin Again by Leeana Tankersley, p. 27)

I am not going to give the examples of what this looks like that she gave, I am going to metaphorically cut myself open and bleed all over this post.

The things I know that are not working in my life: my lack of sleep, my obsession with order/control/manipulating things in my favor, my lack of trust in God to open doors and windows to do the things that matter most and I know are important for me (I mean, He does know what I need even if I think I know better).

Here is my reality. I wake up every day by 3:00 AM. And while the clock may not have the PM dot, 3:00 AM is really not mornig, it is the middle of the night.

Why do I do this? So I can read my Bible, exercise, post on this blog, and get a few things done in the kitchen before the kids and the husband wake up.

What is my motive? I don't want to inconvenience anyone else and so I do these things ahead of time so that no one can be upset with me for not being available for them and thus find myself unnecessary.

What other motive lurks? Primarily fear. Fear I will not exercise or read my Bible if I don't do it first and wait any amount of time. I know how inconsistent I have been in the past and I know how necessary it is for me to remain consistant and patterned in order to be disciplined. Here's something you may not realize. If you look at the sidebar of this blog under the posts, you will see this was not my first attempt. I had a whopping three posts in 2014, and doubled it to six in 2015. The fact that I am still here is evidence of God doing miracles. How could I possibly wait to blog later in the day and believe it will still get done, particularly when there is laundry, and transporting kids, and helping neighbors, and cooking, and cleaning, and reading, and so much more to be done? And as Leeana asks, why on earth would I stare death in the eyes to my already set and working ways only to have to find a new way of doing things?

Except they aren't working. They are killing me. Probably quite literally. Do you know the one of the things most people know about weight gain and weight loss? Sleep is key. I average under 6 hours a night. I have systemic lupus. My body is stressed out physically. And my mind? Oh please, I can go from completely fine one second to near panic/self-condemnation the next because I am so exhausted and mentally drained.

But the thought of starting over? Even if it means life? Honestly, it is so damn scary. Crazy scary.

But I have a choice. I can either take down the walls and idols myself, or I can let the enemy destroy me. I can believe his lies that God won't help me, that my toxic self-talk is right and that I have to do it the way I've been doing it or it won't get done, and that until everything changes, nothing can. And the most painful part of this, I am trading what Jesus offers ~ abundant life ~ for thirty pieces of silver that look like control, self-preservation, and accomplishment.

Yesterday I suggested reading John 12:24-25 and linked it to The Message version of that passage. It reads:

Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground,
dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But
if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In
the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that
life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever,
real and eternal. (emphasis mine)                                                     

And so we are left with this question ~ what is the answer? And the truth is we know the answer. It's Jesus. Jesus is better than our white knuckle attempts to make everything work only to finally wake up one day, probably at 2:18 AM, that nothing about our situation is actually working. But Jesus requires something in order to be able to help us. Not a cleaned up business plan on how we are going to change things and not a list of tried and true attempts to fix it on our own asking only for the solution to the one place we keep getting stuck. No, He wants our surrender. Our lay it all down, I can't do this anymore, and unless you take control I am probably going to end up killing myself in the process of trying to live, surrender.

The hardest part to accept in all of this is that I am the one that put the system in place. And it worked. Until it didn't. And it probably stopped pretty quickly after it began but it was easy. Not physically, but mentally. Because we cling to what we know, even if it's unhealthy, because it's predictable. We like stability and we like not being caught off guard. But if we continue to settle for what we already have and give up our fight, we are making the worst trade ever. Jesus > thirty pieces of silver. And no matter how we try to justify our actions, our behaviors, or our tendencies, we are reversing that equation.

Let's stop holding on to life just as it is. There is a better way and Jesus proved it. We just need to choose to believe Him when He says that if we lose our life, life as we know it, we will find it, real ~ eternal ~ and abundant.


The anaology of the 30 pieces of silver trade came from the sermon by Andy Stanley on Judas titled The Pretender from The Bad Boys of Easter.

Monday, March 26, 2018

Thirty Pieces, Part 1

One of the most fascinating things about the Bible is the fact that it is sitting down with Jesus and opening our eyes, ears, and hearts to what He wants to say to us in that moment. We can read the story of Jonah today and then reread it in five years and get something completely new and fresh. Why? Experience, time, distance, and the season we are in all impact the words we are being told.

The story of Gideon is pretty familiar to most of us. Weak guy is met by an angel while he's working in an obscure location to stay hidden from the enemies. When the angel appears, he tells him he's stronger than he thinks, and that he will be the one to lead the people out of oppression. His response is to say that he is the least in his family and then asks for a sign if he really is the chosen one. Enter the material most of us would prefer to live in, some dew, and a pretty tiny army. (This is a pretty brief synopsis; you can read more in Judges 6-7.)

As I read these chapters this morning, there were some things I hadn't seen before.

Statement: Judges 6:10 reads I said to you: I am the LORD your God. Do not fear the gods of the Amorites whose land you live in. But you did not obey Me.

Question: Just like Gideon and the Israelites living among those who do not follow God, do we find it easier to fear the gods of others than we do to fear the one true God? You know, the gods of money, fame, success, stability, etc.

Statement: Judges 6:36-37 reads If you will deliver Israel by my hand, as you said, I will put a wool fleece here on the threshing floor. If dew is only on the fleece, and all the ground is dry, I will know that you will deliver Israel by my strength, as you said.

Question: Are we willing to ask God for a sign in order to take Him at His word so that He can build our confidence for us?

Statement: Judges 7:9-11 reads That night the LORD said to him, "Get up and attack the camp, for I have handed it over to you. But if you are still afraid to attack the camp, go down with Purah your servant. Listen to what they say, and then you will be encouraged to attack the camp."

Question: Are we willing to own our fear and the possibility that God is not only aware of it but has a perfect way to help us overcome it?

Now this last part is going to get a bit uncomfortable.

Judges comes right after Joshua. And if there is one heartbreaking thing about the book of Joshua it is this phrase: but they did not drive them out completely (15:63, 16:10, 17:13) when speaking of those inhabiting the land the LORD was giving them. They might have put them in forced labor, but they still didn't get rid of all of them which is why then end up in a heap of trouble fearing and worshipping foreign gods.

That said......

Questions:

Is it possible that when we lose a fight with the enemy it's because his fight is stronger, fully understanding what is about to be taken away from him, more than we are aware and able to comprehend what we will gain from seeing it through and what we will lose if we come up short?

Could it be that God is willing to give us something huge but He wants to make sure we understand its value, worth, and cost first?

Can we acknowledge that settling and giving up in order to keep what we already had is nothing more than trading in God's best for our lives for thirty pieces of silver?

I know this is a lot. And tomorrow, God willing, my plan is to share where this is hitting me square between the eyes. I don't think I have ever been more keenly aware of the trade I have been making day after day because I can't see how 300, which is a lot less than 32,000, could possibly be better. But God proves over and over again in His economy that less is more. (Perfect example: Jesus took all the laws and whittled them down to two.)

Today, think about these questions, maybe read John 12:24-25, and then come back tomorrow. And if you're really motivated (read brave), think about the one thing in your life you want to be different. It's possible God is setting us up for battle in order to give us the one thing that's been elusive because we just can't let go and let Him be in control. But if Gideon who was the weakest in his family could allow God to work through him so that things could be different, maybe we can do the same.



The analogy of the thirty pieces of silver trade came from the sermon by Andy Stanley on Judas titled The Pretender from The Bad Boys of Easter

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Weekly Recap: March 19 thru March 23



Monday, March 19, 2018

We can learn a lot about ourselves from the games we play. Especially our limitations.



Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Kids aren't the only ones with a desire to help when we ask. 



Wednesday, March 21, 2018

What we say we want versus how we act. What would happen if we looked at our 
options as the difference between tacos and a hot body?



Thursday, March 22, 2018

Deep Questions early on a Thursday morning.



Friday, March 23, 2018

Perfect words need not be applied.

Blog link: Broken Prayers 





Friday, March 23, 2018

Broken Prayers

Some days are just harder than others. 

Like when someone calls crying and there is nothing you can do. 

Or when your child is hurting and you can't make it stop. 

And your friend is getting worse and you are witnessing what feels like a roller coaster ride of ups, downs, twists, turns, and screeching halts.

And you have no words and you can't pray what you think is the right way because all you want to do is scream why at the top of your lungs but you can't even get it out because you see no point.

When you've denied your own feelings for so long you are completly numb inside and you hate it but are helpless to change it.

When you want to bust out the cookies, the ice cream, and the peanut butter cups because surely there is relief in all things chocolate but you don't because you know that just creates other problems.

And so instead you wait until you are ready to get a real hug, not the one that would have been tainted by your angry heart and frustrated mind. And you choose to believe, even though there is a huge part of you that doubts, that somehow, even all of this will be worked out for good, that the story isn't over, and that relief will come. And you keep your lips shut tight because you know how far your platitudes have gotten you. And then you remember the song that you know needs to become your mantra and you take a minute to remind everyone that perfect words, and lots of them, are not the way to go.

And you leave it at that because sometimes things are hard and the way to make them better is to admit they are broken and that you can't fix them. And since you know Who can, even thought you are so tired of waiting, you can at least admit He's not only the best option, He's your only option. And He's not just okay with Broken Hallelujah's, He's also okay with Broken Prayers.







Thursday, March 22, 2018

Deep Questions Early on a Thursday Morning

What would happen if we let the full weight of what's hard, not able
to be understood, and down right awful crush us until the weight 
of glory turned it into a light and momentary affliction?

What would happen if we let ourselves get closer 
to the cross instead of the empty tomb?




Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Tacos or Hot Body

Contradiction: a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another.

I would suppose that most of us live with some contradictions in our lives. The memes that say things like I want a hot body but I also want tacos pretty much nail this on the head. We want to look good but the idea of limiting the amount of our favorite foods (to a normal serving size) is just so unpleasant and so we live in the space defined by, "I could do it if I really set my mind to it, but honestly, I'm okay where I'm at." And let's be honest, behind that statement is always a fear of failure. It's much easier to say we could if we really wanted to rather than actually go for it and fall flat on our face. 

This isn't a new concept. Solomon was very wise when he said that there was nothing new under the sun. Delivery and appearance might have changed over the years, but the basics of human nature are still pretty much fully intact.

This morning I found a tiny little blurb tucked neatly inside Joshua 17 that illustrates this perfectly. As the promised land is being distributed to the Israelites, Josheph's descendents go to Joshua with this, "Why did you give us only one tribal allotment as an inheritance? We have many people because the LORD has been blessing us greatly." (17:14 CSB) Call me crazy, but for the descendents of the guy who told everyone his dreams, this doesn't seem like much of a stretch for them to proclaim about themselves.

However, when Joshua tells them how to increase their inheritance (i.e. where/how they can get more land) their response is rather enlightening. "The hill country is not enough for us, and all the Canaanites who inhabit the valley have iron chariots...." (17:16 CSB) In essence, what they were offered wasn't enough and oh, by the way, even though we are blessed, we can't possibly overtake the ones who are already there. 

But Joshua, in his amazing leadership skills is having no part of their lack of faith and tells them, "You have many people and great strength.....You can also drive out the Canaanites, even though they have iron chariots and are strong." (17:17,18 CSB ~ emphasis mine)

As I look over the course of my life, I can't help but notice all the times I let what I saw with my eyes, or the fear I felt stop me even though I knew I was capable of doing something. My guess is I'm not alone.

I don't know why this is, but we have the capacity to see our gifts and blessings while still doubting our abilities. Abilities that God has clearly given us but we hold up and examine them through our eyes instead of His. We see all the places where improvement is needed where He sees all the places His strength will come through and permeate our weakness.

The fact is the Lord is willing to give, but acceptance still requires action on our part, whether that means picking something up or holding out our hands to receive it. And yes, sometimes the hardest part of what we are called to do in order to get what God wants to give us is facing something we'd rather avoid. But if avoidance is the course we choose, we are putting a lot more than gifts and blessings on the altar of sacrifice, we are putting His glory on it, too.

Every day we get to make choices that basically amount to the difference between a hot body or tacos. We can open our Bibles and let God speak to us *or* we can hit the snooze alarm and forgo reminding ourselves who God says we are. We can seek God in prayer and ask Him for help *or* we can try to muscle our way through and end up exhausted and defeated. And we can get the tools to clear the trees and drive out the enemies *or* we can stare at iron chariots expecting someone to give us an alternate piece of land. 

And here's the thing: some days we will choose better than others. My hope is that we will begin to see that every choice really does matter, especially over time. As our options for today lay wide open before us, let's look at each one as the difference between a taco or a hot body. Maybe a little humor will help us make wiser choices all the way around.


Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Mommy's Little Helper

I remember one of the wisest pieces of parenting advice I got. When you ask, "Who wants to be mommy's little helper?" all of the sudden, as if by a miracle, kids turn into near angels. It's not that they won't turn back to what they were doing that you were attempting to distract them from, but they somehow seem to have this internal desire to help you. (Or maybe we're all really born people pleasers to an extent, I'm not sure.)

But as kids get older, they get more distracted. It's not that they aren't willing to help, they are just busy, sometimes with legitimate things, sometimes with preferences. For example, my man-child is willing to help me a great majority of the time and is known to offer assistance if he sees me running around with my hair on fire. However, his least preferred time to help is if I am cutting something up (like vegetables) and I need him to start browning the ground beef. He really hates that. His wife will thank me someday, but it is undoubtedly his least favorite expression of love.

The woman child also has her preferences. She will organize her things to make them neater and more functional because she knows clutter makes me cray-cray. However, like the man-child, she has preferences: when it will be done and how long it will take to complete. It's not that it isn't finished; she's just not like me whereby starting a project means seeing in through to immediate completion. (Type A....but I've already said that.) Her bins will be organized and straightened, it just might be done one a week for nine weeks.

And all of this is okay. They are still helping because I asked.

And after yesterday, relearning that we are reminded to ask for help, it makes me think about mommy's other little helper. The one I should rely on considerably more, particularly when things are about to go bat-crap crazy.

Before Jesus was even nailed to the cross, He told the disciples it was to their benefit for Him to leave so that the Father could send the Advocate, or Helper, in His name. (John 16:7) What's interesting is that unlike my kids who I can persuade to be mommy's little helper (and oh, my kids are in middle school), the Spirit of God in me doesn't quite play the same game. Is the Spirit my helper? Undoubtedly. But the Spirit of God doesn't do it to please me, not by a long shot.

The Helper we've been given has a much greater purpose than keeping us happy or making things easier. This Helper was given to keep us from making ourselves miserable. How? Constant communication with the Father and Son to let us know what to do so that we don't go (or attempt to go) off the grid and living on our own.

But there are catches. First, we have to ask for help. When we notice things internally feeling unsettled and seriously lacking peace, that is generally a pretty big indication that we need more help in that moment than we probably did in the previous ten moments. And second, we have to stop and listen for a response. The Spirit is willing, more than willing, to guide us, the problem is we ask and then tend to proceed with caution rather than waiting for directions.

So here's the million dollar question: What will do with this information?

This past weekend I asked the man-child about a grade he received on something at school. It wasn't horrible but I also knew it wasn't his best work. His response was that he thought he was okay but it was harder than anticipated. I asked him why he didn't ask for help, and then reminded him that in this particular class where knowledge one year builds up continually, if he misses a fundamental building block, he'll always be starting from behind. His response? "I guess I just feel like I should be able to do it on my own without any help. It just feels weird to ask for help."

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

If as his mom I am willing to help him, how much more is God willing, through His Spirit, to help us, if we would just ask?

Ya know, God has never once asked or expected us to get to a point where we don't need Him or His help. As a matter of fact, in His upside down ways, the older we get the more we should realize how despearately we do need Him in every aspect of our lives. I mean Jesus even told us that apart from Him we can do nothing, (John 15:5) so why do we keep trying?

I don't remember where I first saw this, but it seems appropriate to share. Every summer we celebrate the 4th of July, Independence Day. But maybe today can be our reminder that we are supposed to live IN-DEPENDENCE on our heavenly Father. He's given us the gift of the Holy Spirit for a reason. Maybe it's time to accept what we have within us and allow God to speak freely, giving us the help we desperately need.


Monday, March 19, 2018

Lessons from Pictionary

This past Saturday evening something I have known since I was a little girl was completely reinforced: I am NOT an artist. My drawing skills could be likened to a two year old with the exception that I can draw a person with more detail. I know people have bodies and aren't just heads with arms and legs.

However, I also had two other truths about me reinforced. I generally take the long way to get where I need to go and I often can't see beyond the obvious.

For example: during a game of Pictionary the card I drew said I had to draw Nile. And so I began as the timer was flipped. I started with what looked like two stone tablets, a river, and soon moved on to Africa. Did my team get the point? Yes. However, upon sharing the story with my mom she mentioned that it might have been better to draw the river with a baby in a basket. The point: my nickname of Rose (Golden Girls) apparently transcends a verbal retelling of a story and also applies to a drawing. If the point of the story is in the middle of the circle, I will take the circumference and radius to get there.

Next example: the category was action. I had my word. For the life of me, I could not get why this word was in the action category. I could not see it beyond what my first instinct was. And so my quest to draw the beach, and the most pitiful castle ever, all to get my teammates to say sand began. Which they did, praise God. However, after I was done I said, "I just don't get how sand is an action," at which point my husband started rubbing his hand on the table and saying something about sanding something while laughing hysterically. If you are local, please don't tell Lisa. I would like to retain some self-respect. (And I should probably work on homonyms.)

I'm sharing these stories because I can't help but wonder how often we do the same thing when it comes to an assignment, or a word, from God. We look at what He is asking us to do and make it way more complicated than it needs to be, or we can only see one aspect of what He's asked and don't ask for clarity before proceeding. I mean, it's not like He isn't willing to answer our questions or help us. I think it's why Jesus reminded us to ask to receive, (Matthew 7:7) because He knew we wouldn't think to do it.

But there's also another lesson to be learned here. Once Joshua took over from Moses and was leading the Israelites into the promised land, he was told to attack everyone and take over. And he was completely and totally willing to follow that command. He knew the reality of not following through. However, in his quest to complete his assignment, one group met with him, claiming to have come from a distance, and Joshua ended up making a peace treaty with them. Why? Because the men of Israel took some of the provisions (to inspect them), but did not seek the LORD's decision. (Joshua 9) They missed the obvious (seeking the Lord before acting) and only saw one side of the story (the bread they were inspecting which they were told was fresh when those seeking peace began their journey).

What's unfortunate is that this type of behavior started in the garden. Eve certainly didn't consider the whole story before proceeding and she only minimally inspected what she was being offered. 

Ya know, God isn't likely to give us the blueprints for His plans like He did Moses, but we know from His word that He is more than willing to help us. My hope is that as we think about the lessons we've learned the hard way, we can move forward and commit to seeking Him first and so that He can establish our steps before we proceed. Personally I'm finally beginning to realize it is likely more effecient to walk a straight path than constantly meandering on the long and winding road. And probably less exhausting.


Saturday, March 17, 2018

Weekly Recap ~ March 12 thru March 16



Monday, March 12, 2018

God doesn't ask us to deny reality, He asks us to trust Him and His ability to handle the situation.



Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Hard hats, yellow tape, and quotes from Jerry Maguire, oh my.



Wednesday, March 14, 2018

A Star Wars Lego figure is not meant to be on the deck of the Lego Friends Dolphin Cruiser. And if it takes up valuable space for what is supposed to be there, it just needs to be removed and restored to its originally intended state.



Thursday, March 15, 2018

Deep thoughts early on a Thursday morning.



Friday, March 16, 2018

When we misunderstand what someone is singing, we can come up with some pretty funny lyrics. But when we take the time to understand the depths of the words, a beautiful song can unfold. 



Friday, March 16, 2018

Music and Lyrics

Growing up in church one of my favorite songs was On Eagles Wings. The moment they announced the song number in the book, I knew what was coming. I lived to hear that number because I loved the music. I will admit though I had no idea what the words meant. Truthfully, until I started reading my Bible just over 12 years ago, I had no idea that the song lyrics I felt so passionate about in the songs I loved on the radio were from the Bible. We won't even talk about how long it took me 'to get' the names of some of groups I like. (i.e. Third Day, Casting Crowns, and Newsboys)

Anyway, I was reading Psalm 91 this morning. For the girl who loved the above mentioned song, you would think I would have spent more time trying to figure out what the words of this prayer mean. Well, figure them out as much as I can. This particular psalm came up a lot in Andi Andrew's book She is Free, which I suppose in retrospect was a hint I should have taken. But I'm not always quick on the uptake. I blame it on lack of proper sleep.

All that said, there were a few things that really jumped out this morning. Things I know I never thought about that are really comforting. And since it's Friday, I think sharing them now is good so we can spend some time mulling them over the weekend.

Psalm 91:1 says The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. (CSB)

This is what I realized:

* being in someone's shadow means we are in close proximity

* for someone to try and 'get to us', they'd also be close to our protector

* to live there (dwelling) happens by choice ~ we put ourselves close to God; He says He'll never leave or forsake us, we choose how close we get to Him (think about the way you hug someone you just met versus the way you hug someone you really love.....which hold is closer and tighter?)

* (referencing verse 10) no harm will come to us ≠ we will not stumble upon it or run into it ourselves (sometimes headlong, accidentally on purpose)

* harm does not come by making the LORD our dwelling place; we can get up close and personal with our flaws, imperfections, and sin because the blood of Christ and His righteousness gives us access to our holy God; His harm is not awaiting us with pain, punishment, or penance as if He is now seeing our sin for the first time and plotting to act accordingly (let's be honest, that's why we avoid confession; we think some cosmic hammer is about to smash us if we willingly admit what He already knows)

* our sin, which causes us to break away, is our first natural consequence because we are choosing to leave His shadow

* (referencing verse 11) God sends help to keep us going the right way

* when our hearts are set on God, He: delivers, protects, answers, stays with, rescues, gives, satisfies, and shows

And finally,

The key is to be close enough to realize all of this;
we have to choose to stay in His shadow.


Thursday, March 15, 2018

Reality Check


Whatever it is that is 'of this world' that you think you need in order to keep 
going, is only an imitation of the real thing that can be found in God alone, 
or given as a gift from God, to meet you exactly where you are.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Demolition

Imagine that you are walking the streets of Europe and you happen upon the Cistene Chapel. You enter, look at the ceiling and decide that something is missing and so you get an enormous ladder, a paint brush, a color palette and a drop cloth, and then get busy improving the work of Michelangelo. 

Or perhaps you are strolling near a cafe, realize you are in front of the Louvre, and go in determined to make Miss Mona look happier by putting a twinkle in her eyes and some color in her cheeks.

Appalling thoughts, aren't they?

Yesterday when I wrote about God completing us, there was an aspect I hadn't considered until this morning.

What if our work in progress is actually part restoration to what God originally intended for us before we took it upon ourselves to make the changes we commissioned without His approval? What if our Construction Zone is also a Deconstruction Zone?

From personal experience over the last seven months, this is what I can say I have seen of this:

* God has never intended us to run around worn out and exhausted, too tired to do what actually matters most. When neccessary, He will intervene, forcing us to slow down and remove the excess until we are functioning in the capacity He intended before we added all the extras we deemed made us worthy, valuable, or indispensable.

* God will make an appearance in the areas of our lives where we have put an unhealthy focus on what we want in order to make His purpose for said aspect of our lives clear. Our extremes will be thwarted one way or another.

* God will relentlessly pursue our hearts on these matters from different angles until we are ready to see it and humbly submit.

Unfortunately God is not likely to take many of us up on a mountain top for forty days to show us exactly what our lives are supposed to look like. He gave Moses a blue print to follow because He knew Moses could handle it. But He knows we can't. Our hearts would abandon God the second they knew exactly what He expected because we wouldn't need Him to lead us day by day. Sadly we also tend to get distracted by ads, magazine covers, other people, and anything else that enters into our hearts and minds through our eyes and ears and that we decide to run with. 

But on the off chance God would show us exactly what He planned from the start for every aspect of our lives, how off-course would we be? And would we be willing to acknowledge how much of that was because we turned to the right or left instead of staying straight?

As His masterpiece we have to realize that He knows so much more about what will bring us His deep and lasting joy. So whether we feel like we are being built up or completely dismantled, let's choose to believe that He is not only good and knows what He is doing, but that His completed work will not only be what we would have done if we knew what He does, but that He will speak over it and declare it very good.


Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Construction Zone

Confession: I have never seen Jerry Maguire. Honestly I don't think I ever will. I'm not a fan of Tom Cruise and truthfully never have been. As a matter of fact, in the spirit of full disclosure, I don't even know that I've ever seen all of Top Gun. (And all the women close to my age just audibly gasped with their hand over their mouth.) I know, odd one out over here.

But despite never seeing the movie, I do know the famous lines......One by Renee Zellweger (You had me at hello) and the other by Tom Cruise (You complete me).

While there is no scientific study related to this comment, I would guess that one line by Tom Cruise has done more harm than good. As a woman, I can honestly say that I would love for my husband to say that I complete him. To feel completely and totally irreplaceable as if he would up and die without me, that the world would stop turning, and that his life would cease to have meaning if I were not in it. Ego? No, I don't think so. A desperate desire to feel valuable, treasured, and needed, no doubt.

But as romantic as that notion might be, it's not only unrealistic, it's incredibly unhealthy. When we find our value and worth in anyone else that is just as human and flawed as we are, we are setting ourselves up for loads of disappointment and heartache. We were not designed to carry that kind of pressure or manage that expectation.

This morning I started a new devotional by Michele Cushatt called I Am. She wrote something I want to share and encourage us with: When you and I look in the mirror and struggle to see evidence of a marvelous creation, it's simply because we're catching a glimpse of a work in progress. (p. 29)

If you are local, how many times do we walk into Giant Eagle and see a sign that says Pardon our mess while we remodel? Or for that matter any store? Why? Because they know that what we expect to see is different than what we are about to see. Improvements are being made whether it's to the flow of merchandise or the aesthetics of the store with fresh paint, flooring, or decor. Improvements that aren't quite finished yet. And heaven forbid you walk into one of the newly designed Targets unaware of some of the changes they've made. Goodness gracious, their cosmetic department now looks like that store in the mall or that other store that is usually close to a mall. And the teen section? Oy! The one I was recently in had music playing. Target NEVER has music playing.

Sorry, rabbit trail.

The point is this. We can't accurately assess the position we are in at any given point because we are constantly a work in progress. We may see capital improvements along the way, but even those things will eventually become outdated and we end up in another major overhaul. It's the concept of pruning. And if I have learned anything, it's that pruning, while purposeful, is still painful. (You can use that. It preaches all by itself which is why I keep it on repeat in my head.) Not only is it an uncomfortable process, but sometimes it can be a real eye-sore to look at.

So what does that have to do with Jerry Maguire and being completed? We can't complete ourselves and no one we know can complete us either. The only one in charge of any rennovations is the one who created and designed us in the first place. We can resist or submit to the process, but we really have no control over it. But the good news is that the one who started it, will see it through to His perfect completion.

Wherever we find ourselves today, let's remember that nothing about our lives (our homes, our callings, our kids, marriages, or stuff) will ever be able to complete us. And if we are tempted to be unhappy with anything we see, maybe we need to put on a hard hat and slap up some yellow tape that says Construction Zone to remember that the work isn't done, but that when it is, it will be a thing of unmistakable beauty.


Monday, March 12, 2018

The Bodyguard

This might be quite possibly the worst example I will ever use to illustrate a point, but it's the best one I've got and it's a true story.

When I was in college there was a girl that did not like me. I am not going to say that her dislike was unwarranted, but I wasn't the only guilty party. Unfortunately, I was the easiest target. Anyway.

On the weekends in my senior year, I had quite a happy social life. That is until a very brief period of time when her presence in the same places I liked to go began to hinder my enjoyment of said places. But, it's where I liked to go, it's where my friends wanted to go, and I didn't want her dislike of me or my perceived threats to stop me. So I went. But every single time I walked in the door, I was undeniably looking over my shoulder nervous, afraid, and paranoid.

While one evening something did unfold, it was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated it would be. But that one incident made me wonder if another might eventually happen. Until I told the one person I believed could/would protect me at all cost.

See, I had a friend that was a rather intimidating presence. I loved him so much. He was the sweetest, kindest, funniest guy I knew. And I asked him if he would go with me because I knew with him by my side, I had absolutely nothing to fear. Not because the situation wasn't still scary, but because I knew who was with me and that his ability to handle anything was unquestionable.

And the reality is, this is no different than what God says. In Deuteronomy 20:1 (CSB) reads, When you got out to war against your enemies and see horses, chariots, and an army larger than yours, do not be afraid of them, for the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, is with you. (emphasis mine)

Did you catch that? It says don't be afraid of them because the LORD your God is with you, not because they aren't bigger, scarier, or more equipped. God isn't asking us to deny reality, He's asking us to trust Him and His ability to handle the situation.

While this may be a horrible way of putting it, this is just like when I went out with my bodyguard and felt more confident that no harm would come my way. The only difference is that my bodyguard was human and not guaranteed a victory while God is not human and already has my victory.

As this brand new week kicks off, let's ask God to help us remember that He is always with us, that He will not leave nor forsake us, and that He is worthy of our trust. If He hasn't let us fall up to this point, I'm thinking He isn't about to drop us now.


Saturday, March 10, 2018

Weekly Recap ~ March 5 thru March 9


Monday, March 5, 2018

If you watched Friends, you probably remember the episode where we learned what UNAGI means. The question is are we more aware of our surroundings than what's actually going on.



Tuesday, March 6, 2018

When preparation meets opportunity.....



Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Relationships......God's lesson on humility to try to not do it all ourselves.



Thursday, March 8, 2018

Pride is the root, forgetfulness is the fruit.



Friday, March 9, 2018

If we don't even know the answer to the first part, we can't answer the question at all. 


Friday, March 9, 2018

Ten Word Question

In his new book  Not God Enough, J.D. Greear poses a question that might be the hardest question we will ever answer. I'm sharing it here because it's Friday and I don't post new things on the weekend so it will give us all something to think about. And with Good Friday just three weeks away, maybe by Easter will have some ability to answer it.

Is what you are living for worth him dying for? (emphasis his, p. 152)


I'm almost through this book. And I can tell you without hesitation it is a challenging read and well worth the investment. It's not like reading Tim Keller where you have to have absolute silence or an updated classic of Andrew Murray where you can only take little chunks at a time. He is a relatable guy that pastors a church and teaches some really deep theological concepts in ways that help the reader get the magnitude of who God is and what His greatest desire is for our lives. 

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Undeserved Pursuit

A Vocabulary Lesson

Humility
: freedom from pride or arrogance.
Humble: not proud or haughty

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0......boom

Around these parts I've certainly shared my perspective on why it's so important to remember what God has done in our lives. I don't think God was haphazard in using the word remember in Scripture at all. We are called to remember a lot. Why? Pride. 

Deuteronomy 8:14 in the CSB reads be careful that your heart doesn't become proud and you forget the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the place of slavery. Pride is the root, forgetfulness is the fruit. 

A few verses later we get a stern warning. You may say to yourself, 'My power and my own ability have gained this wealth for me,' but remember that the LORD your God gives you the power to gain wealth, in order to confirm His covenant He swore to your fathers, as it is today. (Deuteronomy 8:17 CSB)

However, God saves the mic-dropping truth bomb for chapter 9. You are not going to take possession of their land because of your righteousness or your integrity. Instead, the LORD your God will drive out these nations before you because of their wickedness, in order to fulfill the promise He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Understand that the LORD your God is not giving you this good land to possess because of your righteousness, for you are a stiff-necked people. (Deuteronomy 9:5-6 CSB)

I promise this post is not meant to beat us up. I swear.

When we read these words it's easy to feel like our lives have just been blown to smitherines. I mean, we all have a degree of pride in our lives and it's not pleasant to have it pointed out. But instead of wallowing in self-pity for thinking we're a horrid people, we can realize something immensely more beautiful. Despite our flaws, desipite our failures, despite our gross imperfections, God truly does love us and He is still faithful to keep His promises. Not because we earned it, not because we deserve it, but because He is good and He is relentlessly pursuing our hearts. And if anything, the reality of this should cause us to humble ourselves the way He's been hoping we would since He first put His breath in our lungs.

If we get nothing else from this, my hope and prayer is that we understand this: While we were still sinners, Jesus died for us. He was promised in the beginning, He came to fulfill that promise, and we have been benefitting from it every day since. We don't get to our promised land because we perfectly follow every command, statute, and decree, we get there because we humbly realize that God is extending something to us that we can never earn, keep, or sustain on our own. It will always be His grace, His love, His compassion, His mercy, and His forgiveness that will lead us there as we respond to His invitation to fear Him by walking in all His ways, loving Him, and worshipping Him with all our heart and soul (Deuteronomy 10:12 CSB), no matter how imperfectly we do it.


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Harmony

The problem with reading a lot of books is that sometimes you remember reading something that you want to quote properly and you have no idea where on earth it was. That said....

In some book I have read in the last three months it talked about how marriage is one of the things that God uses to refine us. (It also mentioned kids.) Why? Because nothing will bring out the best and worst in us like living in close quarters with others. Beyond that, it will also bring out the deepest things we believe about ourselves.

I have learned over the course of the last 18+ months that I try to be really independent in a lot of ways. I don't like asking for help. Most of this is based on the fact that I don't want to appear needy or high maintenance, but a lot of it has to do with fear of rejection as well. Now, in the case of my husband, this is a ridiculously unfounded fear, but deep down, way deep down, it's still there to an extent.

But yesterday, I reached a turning point. I had such a horrible headache. I mean, it was b.a.d. So, I asked him to rub out the tension in my upper back. Now this I have asked for before but I always reserve this for when it's so bad I can't stand it anymore.  Shortly after this, he offered to get our kids from practice. Now, I really hate asking him for help on his days off because I feel like he works so hard he shouldn't have to do anything. But I actually said ok and then put myself in a scalding hot shower. Y'all, I probably came out pink but couldn't tell because there were no lights on. And slowly but surely, I was starting to feel better and was back to normal (as normal as I can be) within an hour.

Now, if marriage is the analogy we are given as the bride of Christ, what does all this say about me as a wife?

1. I will attempt to do it all myself until I can't. (not good)
2. I will only ask for help in a last ditch effort. (not good)
3. I will humbly say thank you, repeatedly, for what I think you shouldn't have had to do in the first place if I had managed things better on my own.

And, if marriage is the analogy we are given as the bride of Christ, what can I learn about Jesus from the actions of my better, much wiser, other half?

1. He wants to help.
2. He doesn't expect me to do it all.
3. He doesn't need me to thank him millions of times for doing what he was more than happy to do in the first place.

Tucked in towards the end of Deuteronomy 5 is this verse If only they had such a heart to fear me and keep all my commands (v.29 CSB, emphasis mine).

Do you know what command I think most of us have the hardest time following? The one where Jesus says Come to Me. 

On Monday, I did do exactly that. I went to Him. It's what I wrote about yesterday. But scarily on Tuesday, the man God put in my life to treat me as Christ did the church, I didn't want to go to until things became so unbearable I finally had to ask for help.

So, why share this? Accountability. Encouragement to remember that not a single one of us learns a lesson one day and is able to apply it the next. And mostly as a friendly reminder to consider that everytime we don't ask for the help we need, we are robbing someone else of the chance to be the hands and feet of Jesus in our lives.

I have no clue what any of us are going to come face to face with today. But I do know that God not only wants us to run to Him for help, but He also wants us to turn to those He put in our lives for reasons and seasons we can't comprehend. The body is meant to function together, with all parts working in harmony. Let's stop trying to be a one-man band.


Tuesday, March 6, 2018

The First Time

Yesterday was interesting. I can't describe it, but I think from reading No More Faking Fine something was unleashed in me that I forgot ever existed. I know it was there a long time ago, in one capacity or another, but yesterday it emerged in adult form. And honestly, I am still turning this over in my head.

I stood up for myself yesterday. Not in a cruel or in a demeaning way, but I verbalized that I was not going to continue a discussion that was not going to be productive and asked to change the subject. I was feeling verbally attacked and decided I was not going to let it continue. Y'all, you just don't even know. 

And then, after it was over, I lamented! Seriously, that is what I did. My verse for the day (not coincidentally) in the Adoration plan for March was Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble and my very first sentence in my prayer was: Lord, I am so angry right now I could scream at the top of my lungs! 

So, I stood up for myself, took my frustration directly to God instead of excusing the behavior, hashed it out with God, and then prayed for myself to see the other person's concern in their words and to see them as God sees them, not my perspective. Seriously, you must try this. It was incredible.

What's really interesting though is what happened a little while later. I was rereading 2 Samuel 15-18 because those chapters illustrate the backstory of Psalm 3, a lament David wrote when his son Absalom had turned against him. Because a plan had been created to stop the takeover, David's friend Hushai was giving advice meant to derail David's pursuers and he described David and his men as warriors and desperate like a wild bear robbed of her cubs (2 Samuel 17:8 CSB) to those who were attempting to capture and defeat him. And it made me think: when do we become warriors that feel desperate and like a wild bear robbed of her cubs?

I can say without a doubt I felt that way yesterday. And I didn't like it, at all. But just like the Psalm prayer I had journaled before I read these words, God was my refuge and strength, my helper in a time of trouble.

The last thing I want is to let my emotions get the best of me. But I also don't want to deny my feelings anymore. And while it took several weeks for me to take something directly to Jesus to deal with it instead of dressing the wound with a bandage that won't stick or promote healing, I actually did it. What's really amazing is that this was the challenge I issued for all of us during this season of Lent. And here I was, 20 days in, finally doing it.

I will say from a conversation I had a little later in the day, there is a part of me that wonders if I had let the discussion continue on its current course if I would have ended up in tears. I dare to dream. But whether or not I would have, I will celebrate the fact that I learned some pretty incredible lessons about God I want to share.

1. He knows exactly what's coming and He has the ability to set things in motion to help us do what we've been unable (or unwilling) to do before.

2. He will use everything to teach us something about Himself, ourselves, and what He is working out in us.

And finally,

3. As much as we might want to force our plan and timing, He knows exactly what preparations must be completed to help a truth come to life and (hopefully) stick around for the long haul.

Now, I am not going to advocate that any of us create opporutnities to pick a fight so we can put this all into practice (the lamenting part and turning to God in our times of trouble), but I am praying that sharing what happened with me will help all of us remember just how incredible our God is to put things together in ways only He can. The key is we have to pay attention to everything that's happening and be still long enough to know that He is God.


Monday, March 5, 2018

Right Now

Last week I ran into the director to the preschool my kids attended. I love this woman so much. She is such a reflection of Christ it blows me away. As we were catching up she asked me if my kids might be willing to write a statement about what God is doing in their lives right now and submit it to her for the preschool's twenty-fifth anniversary. I mentioned it to the kids and they both were happy to do it. Needless to say, I have one statement ready and one I am waiting for. But that doesn't really surprise me in the least. Not because the one who hasn't written it is procrastinating, but because the one who hasn't written it doesn't know what to say.

I wonder how many of us, if asked what God is doing in our lives right now, in this particular season, could answer that question without hesitation. I also wonder how many of us, if asked what God has done in our lives over the last six months, year, or five years, could answer that question without having to think about it.

This morning I started Deuteronomy. I must say, for all the books of the Bible, I honestly think this one is my favorite. It is so rich in promises, warnings, hope, and reminders. And let's be honest, we need all of those things, some disproportionately more than others. But if there's one thing we can take with us from this book, it's that we need to remind ourselves consistently of what God has done so that when we are faced with something in the present or future, we can (hopefully) move forward without hesitation.

In Deuteronomy 1:29-33 CSB Moses said to the people: Don't be terrified or afraid of them! The LORD your God who goes before you will fight for you, just as you saw Him do for you in Egypt. And you saw in the wilderness how the LORD your God carried you as a man carries his son all along the way you traveled until you reached this place. But in spite of this you did not trust the LORD your God, who went before you on the journey to seek out a place for you to camp. He went in the fire by night and in the cloud by day to guide you on the road you were to travel. (emphasis mine)

Granted most of us have not wandered around a desert for forty years. And true, most of us did not escape slavery under a cruel ruler and see frogs, blood, locusts, gnats, and the like in an attempt to free us. But, as children of God saved by the blood of Jesus from sin and death, we have been made free spiritually and we know exactly which chains have fallen off and which ones still need loosed forever once we step into our promised land.

Personally, I don't think our greatest obstacle is a lack of self-control or desire, it's lack of belief that we can actually be set free because we forget how free we've already been made and that the freedom we have wasn't something we truly attained on our own. We had help and a lot of it.

As I was doing my makeup yesterday morning it occurred to me that my greatest struggle, the battle I still face daily, I have been trying to win on my own, devising my own plans or idolizing the plans of others in order to get what I am working towards. Why? Because I can't seem to remember that any freedom I have was given as the LORD fought for me, carried me, and went before me on the journey. It's not that I didn't have a part in it, but I surely was not leading it. And this one, I've been trying to win all on my own.

So, to circle back around to the question my kids were asked to answer, this is what God is doing in my life, in this season, right now.....(and yes, I too had to really think about my answer)

He is showing me that my Type A personality needs to be fully submitted to Him in every area of my life.

He is showing me that I need to intentionally think about how far He has brought me and remind me that I didn't get where I am on my own. (well, the good places, the ones I don't want to be in, that was pretty much all me)

And He's showing me that I have a few burning bushes He's trying to speak through and I need to slow down, turn my head, look at them, and then stop talking so I can hear Him clearly.

So now I turn it to you. If someone were to ask you today what God is doing in your life right now, what would you say? Maybe our responses will not only help propel us forward but also remind us of how faithful our God is and give us the ability to move forward unafraid and encouraged.