Saturday, September 2, 2017

Humble Pie

Approximately 4 hours ago I wrote this comment on a friends facebook status regarding a change in schedule:

"If it's for a season, it's for a reason."

Since that time I read one very convicting blog post by Sadie Robertson who schooled me in the wisdom of someone less than about half my age. Shortly after I realized that the comment I wrote on my friend's status makes me a complete hyopcrite.

First, if you want to read what Sadie wrote, you can find it here.

Second, why I'm a hypocrite.

When I read Famous In Heaven and At Home around this time last fall, I became very convicted about some things I needed to start doing. 1. I started setting the table for dinner not putting plates with food already on them on the table. 2. I started cleaning consistently so that our home would be comfortable and welcoming at all times. (Not that it was 'dirty' by any stretch, but I didn't put any time into it which (a) made me never want the kids to have friends over and (b) kept me miserable because I knew it was something I should be doing. Home has to be your safety space and it's got to be welcoming to your heart and soul because the world is rough.) Combine those two things with a lot of little messages over time about rest and slowing down and you've been set up for a serious dose of humbling. That came today.

When I wrote that comment, I meant it as an encouragement because this particular friend had a choice to make, made it, and like all great things, it came with a sacrifice. I wanted her to know that I support her in it and that God wasn't doing it for nothing. It would be okay and it would be good.

Except as I poured myself a cup of coffee a few minutes ago, I was reminded (thank you Jesus) of something Parker Palmer wrote in Let Your Life Speak. Essentially he said that the advice you give others is most often the wisdom you are seeking for yourself. Ouch.


I have been lamenting something all day that I can not change. #SeasonForAReason

I have been frustrated that because I don't feel great it took me way longer to clean yesterday than it did 6 months ago. #SeasonForAReason

Because there is a lupus side effect called lupus fog, I have been irritated with my inability to think straight and the fact that it's taking me longer to read and understand things. #SeasonForAReason (Someday I'll tell you about the time I almost lost it on my amazing husband before we knew what was wrong.)

I am resisting what God is obviously declaring a season of rest and probably making things worse. #SeasonForAReason

So why I am telling you this? Accountability.

First, my husband reads my posts so he will call me out on it. Second, if you're local and you know me, I am asking you to call me out on it, too. Not that I am going to stop what I clearly need to do, but that you hold me accountable to surrendering my frustrations to God and not lamenting them endlessly which is a waste of time and precious energy I can't spare. Third, as a friendly warning that God will likely use what you meant as an encouragement for someone you care about to humble you.

Don't get me wrong. I am really happy about that last one. But since I just finished a decent sized salad, this humble pie is going to take a little longer to eat.

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