Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Falling Apart

In 1986 Chess, the musical, was released. On the soundtrack for the production is a song titled I Know Him So Well. In 1987 Whitney Houston (God rest her soul) recorded the song with her mom. My 12 year old self listened to the song a lot. Can you say tween drama?

Anyway, my baby girl has a new found borderline obsession with all musicals. She knew about this song only because I mentioned it last year when she was trying to find a talent show duet to sing with her friend and this one came to my mind. She listened to it a few minutes ago.

With time, maturity, and experience, we can hear very familiar words and have them come across in a completely different manner. It happens when we read Scripture and apparently it can happen with song lyrics as well.

Towards the end of the song are these words:

Didn't I know how it would go?
If I knew from the start, why am I falling apart?

Such wise questions.

Granted these words are hurting my heart right now because something I knew was inevitable happened recently. And while it is for the best, that doesn't make it hurt less.

However, I also see this from another perspective.

From Genesis to Revelation we see the redemptive love story God is weaving through all of our lives. That makes the questions entirely different. I do know how the story goes and so I have to wonder and ask myself why I am falling apart.

The truth is, even when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God works all things out for our good and His glory, that doesn't necessarily make them easier to endure. Our hearts will still break for what we wish in the pit of our stomach was different but have no power to control or change.

So, whatever it is we are facing right now that we didn't ask for and that we would practically remove our right arms to be different, we can rely on the truth that Jesus understands. Before He went to the cross He did ask if it was possible to have the cup, the cup of redemption, pass by Him. 

Ultimately that was not the plan and so He endured the cross for the joy set before Him instead. The joy of knowing what it would get Him in the end.....us.

Last week at Bible study we read the words where Jesus asks us to take up our cross to follow Him. It occurred to me that the crosses we bear can lead us directly to a path that includes great suffering. And Jesus is leading us all the way there. Not because He's cruel, but because He knows the resurrection life that will follow when we die to self and do what He's calling us to do: love others and love them well.

Please know that whatever we face is never done in vain. There is always a purpose and always a greater story than we can figure out or put on a plot line. And someday we will see it all laid out in intricate beauty. And until then, even if we fall apart in the beginning, middle, or end, we can find comfort in knowing that strong arms will catch us and our right hand will be held the entire time.

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