Thankfully, that's just not how it works with God. No matter what happens, He is available for repairs at all times of night or day, any type of weather conditions, and regardless of operator error or intentional destruction by an outside party. He is not only capable of fixing whatever is malfunctioning, but the reasons for the malfunction are completely irrelevant when it comes to willingness. Operator error for the 5th time won't stop Him from arriving on time, tool belt equipped for the job, and a completed diagnostic test run to know where to begin. The only requirement on us? Admitting we need help, fixed, tuned up, rewired, or rennovated.
And the best part? The work is guaranteed. Forever.
So many times I have tried to muscle it through in my own strength to fix it. Sometimes I feel like I should be singing the lyrics from Bob the Builder asking "Can we fix it?" and then proudly responding with, "Yes we can." But that we is where the problems really start. Unless we consult the owners manual and go directly to the manufacturer to be restored to factory released conditions, we are almost certain to have extra parts that didn't need used or have things put in the wrong place or wrong order.
I am currently waiting for a book to be delivered titled, No More Faking Fine by Esther Fleece. This book is about the lost art of Biblical lament. As a person who has struggled with repressing her emotions, thoughts, and feelings, I made a decision a while ago to stop trying to fix everything on my own and God has somehow seen fit to put books in my hands that are addressing every misguided notion I have had about dealing with problems, admitting weaknesses, and understanding that it really is okay to feel all the things. I don't know that this will lead to the breaking of the floodgates that lets the tears fall again, but I do believe it will put another crack in the wall that is built up around my heart. I'm not sure when the dust will rise from the pile of rubble when it falls, but it is a day I am most definitely look forward to.
I don't know what you are dealing with, what things have happened beyond your control, or perhaps at the work of your own hands. What I do know for certain is that God is not only aching for your pain and suffering, but He is willing to come into the middle of it and begin the work of putting you back together. My prayer is that not only will you ask Him to do it, but that you'll give Him full access to every piece of your life that needs His compassionate touch.
Father, I can't thank You enough for not only gently pointing out where I have been going wrong, but waiting until I was ready to see it and commit to doing the work with You. I know that not only are You able to restore and redeem what the locusts have taken through the years, but You will also replace what was lost with something greater than I could ever ask for or imagine. Thank You for Your limitless love that is both guaranteed and unconditional. Amen.