It's not that I don't want him to run because I do. I just don't love the long training runs. Not because he's gone for so long but because I am paranoid. Not that it is a statistical probability, but someone I admired was a runner and didn't make it home one time. That memory has haunted me since his passing. I always need to know how far he's running and when I should expect him home so that I can maintain some sanity. Don't even get me started on the time I thought he was only running 3 and he was in fact doing 6. #NervousWreck
However, as I did last year, I am carb-loading him the night before with spaghetti and meatballs. I offered lasagna also but he chose this. I know some of the science behind the idea of carb-loading but never having been in need of actually doing it for an athletic event, I've never researched it to gain a more substantial understanding. Essentially, the idea is to maximise the storage of energy in the muscles and liver to provide fuel and delay fatigue. I suppose if one is going to run 13.1 miles just becuase, you might want to do that.
However, the practice of carb-loading reminds me of why we are supposed to put on the armor of God. The reality is if we aren't in God's Word daily, preparing ourselves for the races we are set to run spiritually, we are going to get tired, we are going to be tempted to quit, and we are going delay crossing the finish line. Personally, I don't want to endure anything difficult a second longer than necessary and so I do my part to Jesus-load every morning. It's not that it makes my days go perfectly or that I don't still have a struggle or two, but I don't even want to entertain the thought of what my days would look like if I didn't do it.
When I think back to a time when I wasn't quite so disciplined with this, I realize that I was definitely doing things the hard way. And to be honest, it wasn't worth it. I didn't get any more points in heaven for muscling through it and I likely did way more harm than good to myself and my relationships. Truthfully the only way that I can have a sound is to know what God thinks and I can't possibly know what He thinks if I am not reading what His Word tells me He thinks.
My memory verse this week has been Hebrews 4:12 that reminds me the Word of God is alive and active. I need to be reminded of the fact that God has given us the Bible for a reason. It is more than just words on a page, it is an agent of change, a catalyst of transformation, and the stimulant necessary for conversion. It is the breath of God on paper, the desires of Jesus expressed, and the fuel that fans the flame of the Spirit. It penetrates to divide the intentions, purpose, and mission of God from the worldly, earthly, and human focus of man. Without it, our hearts and minds will remain deceptively divided between His desires and our plans. It constantly works on us until we respond to it because it never falls flat, lifeless, or ineffective. It is the gift we need to Jesus-load so that we can be His hands, feet, and light in a hurting and often dark world.
I can't imagine a morning without my sweet time with Jesus, laying my requests at His feet, knowing He is listening, and that He invariably responds through His Word. I need every ounce of His strength I can gather to get me through the day. And while I may collapse when bed-time comes, my weary head now hits the pillow content, satisfied, and fully aware that He saw me through.
Lord there isn't a way to express how grateful I am for the gift of your love letter to us. I pray that we would continually seek You in it, be purposefully in Your presence with it, and submit to the directions You give us through it. We love you. Amen.