Friday, May 19, 2017

Numbered Steps

Many, many months ago, my husband insisted that I needed to get more steps in my day.  Enter FitBit. This was pretty eye-opening. First, I had no idea that I could work out the way I did and still be considered sedentary. Apparently you can't just get all your movement in the morning and say you lead an active lifestyle. Second, I had no clue what it would take to actually make sure I got 10,000 steps a day. Third, I am now OBSESSED with making sure I get my steps. #AddictiveTendencies And fourth, getting older wrecks your metabolism. And if it wasn't great in the first place, watch out.

Now mind you not everything that is counted as a step truly is a step. For example, if I do squats during my workout, the movement is counted as a step. Therefore, whatever my 'workout' is for the day, I figure out how many steps I got then and add that to 10,000 to reach my goal for the day. Why? Because (1) I'm a rule follower, (2) I'm obsessive, and (3) I'm not normal.

However, I also want every step I do take to count and I get super irritated if my wrist accessory is not keeping an accurate measure. Like this morning.

After I did my workout, I went out for my walk. My sidewalk takes me approximately 333 steps to make one complete loop. I walked for 13 laps and should have gotten 4,329 steps registered. But no, for some reason I only got 2,613. You can imagine my frustration when I saw this on my activity log. Granted, it registered my walk as an elliptical workout but it always does that and the steps have never been this far off. And so now I am still not at my 10,000 for the day and it's already 2:30 PM.

As I just paced my hallway to make sure I got my 250 for the hour, it occurred to me that when I take steps of faith, I want those counted as well. The problem is I want them counted more by the people seeing me doing them than God. Why? Because I like words of affirmation. I don't need them constantly, but when I think I've made a giant leap of progress, I pretty much expect a parade, ballooons, and ice cream for my effort. Unfortunately, if I get my praise here from others, my reward is fleeting and short lived. 

God knows all the things I am doing and the motives behind them. He alone examines my heart and mind. What's so weird about this dilemma of wanting human recognition is that when I trust God fully with what I am doing, He sends words of encouragement my way. Every.Single.Time. 

But here's the problem. When you are doing what God wants you to do, Satan steps up his game. It almost feels like your life now has a soundtrack and the only lyrics in the songs are did God really say? It's kind of annoying.

I don't ever want to be focused on icons, social media shares, or the comments of others because the only thing that truly matters is that I'm doing what I've been told to do and that God is using it the way He intends to use it. He's the only audience member I am aiming to please and He knows when I need encouraged the most. So, I'll just trust His judgment on when it's sent instead of anxiously waiting for it. And in the meantime if you hear me say shut up under my breath, know it's not directed at you, but at that annoying pitchfork holding liar.

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