Before they left, I asked my all too grown up man child what time he hoped to finish with. Since he's only been running in gym class and occasionally on the weekends, I wanted to see what expectations he had of himself. Since his goal was reasonable, I asked him for his ipod, showed him my walking playlist, and said, "If you start here and concentrate on finishing before the last song, you'll come in within your time." He nodded his thanks, I prayed over him, and off they went. (FYI - I prayed specifically that he'd come back undamaged as a lot of this is a trail run and he's got my genes, too. I broke my foot trick or treating.)
When he came home he said ran without music. Personally, I don't understand how anyone can do that. If I am doing something strenous or something that I don't really want to do, music just makes it more tolerable. It also gives you markers for time if you know you'll be done when a certain song is over.
As I've been praying through some circumstances that I really want to have changed, it made me wish I had a soundtrack for the trials I am enduring. It would be nice to know that by song five I am halfway through and on the backside of the experience. For me it would make running the race a little less daunting. Unfortunately because God's time frame doesn't operate by my watch or calendar, it would probably just have one song mixed with fast and slow tempos, heart pounding drums sporadically placed, softer sections with just flutes and violins, and something I can only imagine as being similar to the two notes played when Jaws is about to attack.
But through it all, there is one comfort I came back to this morning in Psalm 5:3,8
In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.
But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.
Regardless of what I still see before me, I know He is hearing my voice. Every circumstance can be repeatedly laid at His feet, regardless of its size, and I am able to take my requests to Him as He allows me to come into His presence by His great love.
For as long as I can remember, I have tried to white-knuckle difficult circumstances. But that is exhausting. And pointless. And not smart. And so now my Bible and journal are being filled with the requests I need to lay at His feet daily because some of them just don't seem to be going away. And while I don't know when they will be answered in full, I have peace because I am relinquishing control to the only one that can handle them appropriately, effectively, and completely.....for my good and His glory.
Father, You know everything that's going on and You know Your purposes in them. Thank You for allowing me to come to You, every.single.day. with what remains heavy on my heart. I believe that You hear me, I know that You care, and I am confident that You are working on my behalf. I love you. Amen.