Seek and Find

John 5:41-47  "I do not receive honor from men.  But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you.  I have come in My Father's name, and you do not receive Me;  if another comes in his own name, him you will receive.  How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?  Do not think I shall accuse you to the Father' there is one who accuses you, Moses ~ in whom you trust.  For if you believed Moses, you would believe Me; for he wrote about Me.  But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe My words?"

Father I am not even sure I know what it means to seek honor that comes from You.  I know what it means to honor You and to do things that honor You but to seek honor that You would give is beyond my ability to understand.  Give me the wisdom and understanding necessary to read the words of Moses, to see his witness and testimony of You, so that I can believe Your words.  I have spent hours pouring over things You say, and I may "know" them with a fair amount of intellectual ability, but I want to believe them.  You said that if I can hear Your words they will make me live.  I want to stop just existing and start living.  Open my eyes, make my ears sensitive to Your whispers, and break the protective wall I have managed to build around my heart.  Amen.